penny2

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Posts by penny2

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  16

  Renaes unsure how to feel

  by Renaesunsure in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm a 3rd generation witness.

  been through a lot of crap.

  my brother was born premature in 85 was given a blood transfusion without my parents consenting.

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  penny2

  Renae, welcome to JWD! You and your family have certainly been through a lot.

  Many of us who have been brought up as Jehovah's Witnesses have difficulty in the beginning finding friends outside the congregation. You sound like an outgoing person at heart. Give it time - you'll work out what your interests are. Also, as you get older, potential friends won't be looking for the "rebel" aspect - they will just be looking for someone nice that they have things in common with.

  Come on here anytime - there are people here who understand what you are going through.
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  44

  Hi there!

  by breakingfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been coming to this site to read news and your stories for about a year now, but have never posted due to my mortal fear of somehow being found out... i have family in as most of you do, who are all very sincerely convinced that they are on the path of light.. i have never been happy with the beliefs, mainly the doublespeak on the status of women, the hypocrisy, the dramatisation of the smallest of matters, and the general guilt trip that was my life until i stumbled across some hard evidence that my suspicions about 'gods channel' were well founded.

  unfortunately i am now addicted to turning over every piece of information i can find, there seems to be no end to the amount of $#*& below the surface.

  i will probably remain in this state for awhile, hungrily devouring all the information that makes me feel validated for my stand against much of the mindless rubbish that has gone around me during my life as a jw.

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  penny2

  wondering whether to put in an appearance now...

  I know the feeling because I had that with my family many times. They would be begging me to go and I'd think - just go this once and the pain will be over.

  I think it's easier in the long run - when the time is right for you, to make a clean break. Tell yourself you are not going back and then blindly stick to that.

  Eventually you'll be thought of as "the couple that used to go to the meetings."
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  25

  This proves that time flies!!!!!

  by Es in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my baby turned one today.

  it was a great day and a great party.

  this year has just flown by so fast.. .

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  penny2

  Happy Birthday, Kaia!! She's adorable.
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  16

  Were you pressured into marrying/having children young?

  by breakingfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is probably something women in the organisation experience more than men.

  even though we were instructed from the platform to use our youth to go pioneering, the older sisters in the congregation always seemed to be pushing younger women to marry and have children so they would be 'happy' like them .

  when i got married (far too young, lucky it worked out) there was instant teasing, encouragement, etc to procreate.

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  penny2

  I had it drummed into me to "cultivate the gift of singleness" blah blah blah. I was actively prevented from having a JW boyfriend and eventually fell in love with a non-JW. Got caught out though and that messed me up for a few years.

  Fast forward to now .... no man and no kids .... but I'm free from slavery to the WTS. I'm thankful for that every day.
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  44

  Hi there!

  by breakingfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been coming to this site to read news and your stories for about a year now, but have never posted due to my mortal fear of somehow being found out... i have family in as most of you do, who are all very sincerely convinced that they are on the path of light.. i have never been happy with the beliefs, mainly the doublespeak on the status of women, the hypocrisy, the dramatisation of the smallest of matters, and the general guilt trip that was my life until i stumbled across some hard evidence that my suspicions about 'gods channel' were well founded.

  unfortunately i am now addicted to turning over every piece of information i can find, there seems to be no end to the amount of $#*& below the surface.

  i will probably remain in this state for awhile, hungrily devouring all the information that makes me feel validated for my stand against much of the mindless rubbish that has gone around me during my life as a jw.

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  penny2

  I think you get away with more in Australia

  I agree - many Aussies are laid back and relaxed - even many elders. It only takes one in a congregation though to make life hell for everyone else.
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  44

  Hi there!

  by breakingfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been coming to this site to read news and your stories for about a year now, but have never posted due to my mortal fear of somehow being found out... i have family in as most of you do, who are all very sincerely convinced that they are on the path of light.. i have never been happy with the beliefs, mainly the doublespeak on the status of women, the hypocrisy, the dramatisation of the smallest of matters, and the general guilt trip that was my life until i stumbled across some hard evidence that my suspicions about 'gods channel' were well founded.

  unfortunately i am now addicted to turning over every piece of information i can find, there seems to be no end to the amount of $#*& below the surface.

  i will probably remain in this state for awhile, hungrily devouring all the information that makes me feel validated for my stand against much of the mindless rubbish that has gone around me during my life as a jw.

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  penny2

  Welcome to you too, destructo-girl!! Glad you got the courage to post and hope to hear more from you.
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  6

  Dead of Night

  by RollerDave in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dead of night.. absence of light.

  anxiety not slight.. i don't know, just sometimes in the dead of night it hits me and it sucks.. the years pile up, i don't have so big a pile as some, but they are harsh ones with lots of jaggy bits and cruel edges.. sux.. you pile up the years, but the thing is, when you collect the whole set, it's game over, and that just sucks.. maybe it's the season, the light fades, and the cold comes.

  it creeps into your bones and you feel cold all the way through, like you'll never be warm again.. then there's times of warmth and laughter, but sometimes even those kind of ring hollow, the music takes on an unwelcome tinny quality and i lack the patience to listen to even one song all the way through.. old thoughts, old feelings, old conversations, locked on a disc for a device that is no longer made, in file formats for programs i have forgotten the names of.. a wealth of emotion, it meant so much at the time, yet now it collects dust in obsolescence and disuse.. streams of thought that lead nowhere but i didn't realize at the time, and now they are wasted and gone.

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  penny2

  You pile up the years, but the thing is, when you collect the whole set, it's game over, and that just sucks.

  Hmmmm!!!

  Have a happy birthday anyway, RollerDave.

  Hope you get warm.

  penny (in South Australia, where it's warm - 35 degrees Celsius tomorrow)
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  44

  Hi there!

  by breakingfree in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been coming to this site to read news and your stories for about a year now, but have never posted due to my mortal fear of somehow being found out... i have family in as most of you do, who are all very sincerely convinced that they are on the path of light.. i have never been happy with the beliefs, mainly the doublespeak on the status of women, the hypocrisy, the dramatisation of the smallest of matters, and the general guilt trip that was my life until i stumbled across some hard evidence that my suspicions about 'gods channel' were well founded.

  unfortunately i am now addicted to turning over every piece of information i can find, there seems to be no end to the amount of $#*& below the surface.

  i will probably remain in this state for awhile, hungrily devouring all the information that makes me feel validated for my stand against much of the mindless rubbish that has gone around me during my life as a jw.

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  penny2

  Hi breakingfree, welcome to JWD. It's good to see another Aussie thinking clearly!! Great that your husband feels the same way - that will make your life a lot easier.

  I'm in a similar boat to you - I faded but still have family in. They are important to me, so I make sure I don't obviously do things that will cause them to shun me.

  I started fading in the late 1980s but it's only about 6 years ago that I stopped going to meetings altogether. I had offers of a CO's visit several times and was usually able to evade the issue (ie I had "other commitments" whenever they wanted to drop in). One time an elder asked me if I would like a visit from the CO and I said straight out "no". I think the elder was stunned - he didn't know what to say and I had no repercussions from that.

  The last time I had a "shepherding" visit (from two of the locals), I told them I had lost my faith. They asked me if I would like someone to study with me but I said no, I could study by myself. I've never received a visit or a phone call since. That was about 8 years ago - I went to the occasional meeting for another couple of years after that without being bothered by anyone.
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  9

  Will it end

  by Phil in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recently passed on some sad news regarding my medical condition and the death of my daughter and later trip to patterson for the funeral.

  unfortunately the missfortune did not stop there.

  i recently got word that my sister was deathly ill and before i could get to her bedside she passed.

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  penny2

  Wow, Phil, you have been through a lot - you must be feeling numb. Losing your daughter must have been the worst. Hope they will be able to help you with the leukemia and that you will see better days yet.

  penny
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  41

  What's Your Favorite Candy or "Goody"?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i love milk chocolate raspberry, cherry, actually any fruit, candies.. i love hershey's with almonds.. i'm in a sweettooth type of mood..

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  penny2

  Anything to do with chocolate but especially chocolate truffles.