Posts by Darkhorse

64

Help a lurking dub with doubts

by undercover in

i've been lurking about, checking out some of the evidence against the wtbs.

i am currently inactive but still an approved/baptized member.

i have seen all the 1914/607bce evidence; the blood transfusion quandry evidence; the current child abuse problem evidence and several other things that are damning to the wt doctrines.

Darkhorse

Hello Undercover.

I am one of the worldly people who post from time to time on this board. I found my way to this site to learn about JW's because I had befriended one (I knew nothing about JW beliefs and customs). I have learned much from this site, I still am shocked from time to time when I read about how people are treated if they choose not to be a JW any longer. My friend has not attended meetings for quite a while; eventhough I do not know the extent of my friend's involvement with the JW, I can tell she has become inactive. We have not yet discussed religion, but I know in the future we will. I really care about my friend and will help her in any way I can.

From what I have learned from this site and others, you journey is not an easy one. Many who are no longer JW's are very bitter, and I can understand why. I can understand why people would rather "fade away slowly" if possible in order to minimize the "damage" that will occur if they da or become df'd.

Read and sort through the information, take you time. Only you know what is right for you.

I wish you the best of luck which ever way you turn.

55

Things JWs don't say

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

lets post somethings as a dub you dont say:.

luck, you dont say party, its a get together.

you dont go to church, its a hall

Darkhorse

I am a worldly person also. The more I read about what JW's could and could not do, say, etc. blows my mind! After a while, a person would not know whether to s*&t or go blind.

What is up with all that? How can people function? I am really beginning to see why when a person leaves the JW, they just cannot leave mentally because of all that has been programmed into them. They have to totally learn a new behavior and a new set of social skills. I commend all of those who have chosen to leave and make a new life for themselves.

I can see that with the person I befriended. This person does not attend Sunday meetings, etc. any more (I do not know the extent of the involvement with the JW in the past); but this person has displayed many of the characterics of somebody who does not know how to deal with people on a social level. I can tell just by the actions / reactions, comments made in conversations with me, and many other things too numerous to count. Some of the subjects that have come up in our conversations have been interesting (not religion). Some people would be speechless at first, but I know my friend is trying to have a conversation and is having a hard time starting one. It is hard to explain.... Some people may know what I am talking about.

13

How do you deal with dub friends?

by In_between_days in

jw
friends

i would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their replys to my thread titled "i cant move on", and express my gratitude for your genuine and helpful advise.. i am happy to say that i am certainly in the process of moving on and healing the wounds that have been inflicted by the wt.

there is only one problem that remains............. i have a few dub friends who i do still consider to be very good friends.

i made a decision that i would never try to push my discoveries of the curroption within the org on them, and keep our conversations very neutral.

Darkhorse

For those of you who have left the JW and have had your friends? shun you. How did you feel when some of the friends that shunned you also left the JW and contacted you wanting to still be friends? Did you find it hard resuming a relationship with them? Were you able to "forgive them" for treating you cruelly? Or did you consider other people that befriended you (worldly people such as I) and loved you for yourself (ex-JW or whatever) your true friends? Or do you have mixed emotions?

11

why shun me?

by happy2b in

jw
friends

i can't seem to change my font, size or color!!

i hope you can, oh there it goes!...hehe!!

anyway, i keep reading about why jw's are suppose to shun us, but it always says to shun sinners, adulters, drunkards, etc.......... okay, i sorta get that.

Darkhorse

I'm one of the "outsiders - the unclean or whatever".

As far as persecution, it seems the JW's have got it confused. They are not persecuted for their beliefs, they persecute those who are not of their faith, and heaven forbid those who were JW's that decided they did not share similar beliefs. "Worldly" people such as myself are just doomed at the end of time, but we are exempt from the shunning. From what I read, we are not worth anything, but some JW (I am not including all JW) speak and deal with us only because they may have too at times. But we do not get the shun look.

I think the practice of shunning is the most cruelest, coldest, ignorant thing I have ever heard of. The JW say they do it out of love, sounds like rubbish to me. I could never treat somebody I loved or liked in that manner.

I really think they shun people because they just do not know how to handle somebody who has the courage to have a mind of their own. They do it because all the other JW's do it. Probably some are scared that if they do not shun, they may be viewed by others as "weak" or so. I have read the JW say they shun in order that the so called "loved one" will return to the flock. As far as calling themselved a flock, that is true because they have a flock mentality. Sheep have no minds of their own and are creatures that scare easily - if the leader of the flock runs off a cliff, the other members of the flock will follow to their deaths in a pileup.

21

Is 40 too old for a tattoo????

by mamashel in

jw
friends

ok, as you know, i am a wife, mother of 6 and almost 40 years old.

i have had this urge to get a tattoo for about 3 years now.

shelley

Darkhorse

If you really want a tattoo, get one. There are many pretty ones to choose from.

I do not have only, only because I am a real weeney about needles. My best friend has some neat ones (3) and she is over forty. She had a small rose, a small flower with a humming bird, and a small unicorn. I think one is on a shoulder blade, side of her knee, and ankle.

22

WT Oct 1-nothing has changed in the past 15 years

by refiners fire in

well the dubbies have me as a backcall, and like little clockwork robots they turned up exactly 2 weeks after the previous visit.

i saw them coming this week.

expected them even.

Darkhorse

Uh oh, looks like me of the "worldly variety" is still a Jezebel and unclean (geez, I take a shower daily - don't see what's the problem).

7

Disfellowshipping Procedure Changes

by WTLies in

jw
friends

has there been any changes as of late in the way the judical committe operates?

i was just in email with a dub that assured me that the elders no longer make decision to disfellowship but instead it's made at the society.

the elders only recommend.

Darkhorse

Hello WTLies.

Question - how would you and your committee go about trying to determine if a person was repentant? Did they have to meet some sort of criteria? So you and the others were like a judge and jury. Just curious, I am not a JW.

16

"Free" Home Bible Studies

by Farkel in

this phrase has been part of the watchtower landscape since i can remember, so that spans a half-century.

dubs say it like it really means something special.. ever know any other christian faith that actually charged for home bible studies?

ever know any other christian faith that charged for books for that free home bible study(tm)?.

Darkhorse

Oh yes, the "free" home bible study. Yes, each year my hubby and I receive in the mail a "handwritten invitation" from the KH down the street from us (about 7 miles) - we are not JW's. We get invited to the Sunday Service annnnnnd to have a "free bible study".
Wow!!!!!

Nothing is every free that is for sure, and I can tell from reading all you ex-JW's and thinking about leaving JW's posts that the "free bible study" cost you a lot.

We did not get an invite or an offer from the KH this year - guess it is because my hubbie and I never took them up on the offer and they probably got tired of wasting the postage on us. The JW's do not go door-to-door in our town - they are required to get peddlar's liscenses.

27

Are the Disassociated shunned?

by NotBlind in

on a whim, i recently visited the jw media site and found this question in their beliefs faq at http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm:do you shun former members?those who simply leave the faith are not shunned.

if, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing, or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers.

every effort is made to help wrongdoers.

Darkhorse

Ozzie, thanks for the reply.

I checked out the link and read the 1st chapter of COC, I will purchase that book.

Yes, I do ask many questions - I would have made a louzy JW. Probably would not have made it through too many bible studies because of my questioning - I think they would have given me the boot pretty quick, right?

Have a wonderful day!

27

Are the Disassociated shunned?

by NotBlind in

on a whim, i recently visited the jw media site and found this question in their beliefs faq at http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm:do you shun former members?those who simply leave the faith are not shunned.

if, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing, or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers.

every effort is made to help wrongdoers.

Darkhorse

I have a few questions regarding DA'd and shunning (I am not a JW).

What happens in the case of a person who does not attend the Sunday meetings because they have to work, or take kids to sports, or want to do other things other than attending the meeting? The same would go for weekly meetings? In a sense, is this person DAing themselves or is it considered more of a fading away?

Does the congregation consider this person a "slacker" and treat him/her less favorably? Or depending upon the "type of congregation" it is - liberal or conservative - over look the missed meetings, etc and still treat the person well?

I find this interesting especially in the case of a community in which it is hard to go into hiding when you have kids in the same school and run into those same people at his/her place of employment.

Can there be a "middle ground" if a person has not been "officially DF'd" or is it pretty black and white which appears to be the thinking of most JW's. A person is either "in" or "out".

The original poster got me to thinking.