Choosing Life
This teaching is evil!
When i was DFed and my 15 yr old son was 'ordered' stop talking to me, he started self-harming. We now thankfully have a great relationship and neither if us are in the borg.
If i ever see that elder again though, i will punch him.
I hope you resolve this and if you are still in the 'faith', i suggest you get out before you assist in doing more damage to yourself and your children, as i did.
Peace
Lowden