Posts by Nowman

15

Parental Control

by Nancy Drake in

jw
friends

i've been much better with all the exjw stuff, and sorta moved on...but i'm having a rough day today, and i would like to get some thoughts out.. i'm particularly upset today because of my parents.

i've been shunned by my parents pretty much for the past 11 years since i've been disfellowshiped.

they tell me that they are allowed to call me for family business and such.

I was DF'd at 18, my dad has not seen me since 92 and my mom and I reunited in 2000 after 8 years! My mom was in much longer than I and has a hard time dealing with the real world even though she does not believe in the JW org anymore. Our relationship is not so good, and its not that I do not care or that I do not love her, but eveytime I see her, she does something that hurts me. Whether its not seeing me and her grand children period, or when she does, she can only handle so much being around them. Or she just puts me down in someway, when the timing is not necessary to even make a comment. I keep my mouth shut, I will not let her upset me too long.

Well, I went all those years without a relationship, I certainly can go longer, I have to put it in its place and I am thankful I am not so miserable.

I have had so many up & downs with them all my life, mostly while being a JW. And I still have to deal with the after effects due to my mother being mentally ill.

You just have to hang in there, and keep your will up. In the end, you may just have to put it in its place and move on with life, and fill it with things that make you happy or whoever you want to make happy. Its your life, your parents are still JWs and taught that someone (their daughter) like you has been touched by Satan. You and I both know that is ridiculous. They really believe it just as we all might have believed it or been afraid to have doubts at one point, but in all reality, they are following the WTBS "law".

All the best...Nikki

92

Autism Times six.. on discovery health

by Cc81 in

has anybody seen the ads on the discovery health channel for the show autism times 6?

they have 6 children and apparently all 6 of the children have autism.

i was doing some reading about this family.. its very sad.

Nowman

CC81,

I think the same way you do, if it were me, and had 3 children and all had autism, I would not have more (try to not have more by prevention) because they would need my attention. I know it would be difficult. In fact, if I had 2 in a row that were autistic, I would have made the decision to stop having more children by prevention.

If there was an accident while trying to prevent having more babies, I would have my child, those would be the cards I was dealt with.

Interesting thread, interesting comments.

Nikki

132

What Is Your Present Status In The Organization?

by minimus in

jw
friends

are you disfellowshipped?

disassociated?

a fader?

Nowman

Disfellowshipped for fornication in 1992 when I was 18!

297

BETHELITES - Whatever Became of?

by Black Man in

jw
friends

i often times wonder what happened to certain bethelites that i ran around with during my 1990s tenure there.

while there are still a few left there, the greater majority of them aren't there for various reasons (marriage, disillusionment, left the borg, etc).

a couple of cats i wonder about - there was one brother who i believe was from kansas, who got his fingers cut off in a printing press.

Nowman

Darth Frosty,

Did you by chance know Joshua Saxe? Grew up with him, funny story about his goodbye party we through...Id be curious to hear what happened to him?

Nikki

37

Things you are now embarrassed you disclosed on jwd

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

what are some things you posted here that you are now embarrassed about?

here's a classic.

it totally brought down a funny thread, and totally embarrassed me because others' reactions made me realize how dysfunctional my childhood was.

Nowman

I regret things that I have posted on JWD, but such as life, we may regret what we say sometimes, but you never know who you might have helped...I know that I do not post often (I went in spurts), I read more than anything, and I cannot tell all those people thanks! They don't know me...but I never reached out enough...so many here by what they posted made me stronger...

Nikki

10

Dear God.....

by AK - Jeff in

jw
friends

http://www.dear-god.net/.

there are two reasons i post this link:.

when i came across it, i realized that i no longer find anything said there particularly inspiring or particularly offensive.

Nowman

I have not prayed since I left the org/parents in 1992. I have thought about praying but feel weird even thinking of it...I do not believe and I do not have faith. I am not bitter at all, I love life...I do not feel that praying will help at all with me. I do not think anyone/anything could convince me otherwise. Do I feel happier all these years NOT praying, YES.

Even as I type this, and I do not feel my world is not going to end, I do not feel I have to ask for anything or give thanks to anyone except those those that have made me a better person, and it was not God. Not to be offensive, but I am saying this because I am a person that has no faith. Sure I have alot of questions, but I do go through life not caring about the answers, not in a depressive way, but in a way of "no news is good news".

It is not bad to think this way, it keep me moving forward, and it has helped me become a stronger person, and I did not pray to God.

Nikki

88

Is It Me Or Are The Males of Today More Feminine and/or Nerdy Than Ever B4?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when i turn on the tv, i see so many fem men that i'm realizing that a 'manly" man seems to be a relic of the past.. metrosexuals rule the world now.supersensitive males who are in touch with their feminine side are the norm.. the john waynes & burt reynolds have been replaced with ryan seacrest lookalikes.. ladies, do you find these metrosexuals all that attractive?

?.

Nowman

Yes, I like Brangelina too.

88

Is It Me Or Are The Males of Today More Feminine and/or Nerdy Than Ever B4?

by minimus in

jw
friends

when i turn on the tv, i see so many fem men that i'm realizing that a 'manly" man seems to be a relic of the past.. metrosexuals rule the world now.supersensitive males who are in touch with their feminine side are the norm.. the john waynes & burt reynolds have been replaced with ryan seacrest lookalikes.. ladies, do you find these metrosexuals all that attractive?

?.

Nowman

I just want Minimus to know that I love Ryan Seacrest. I thinks he is adorable. Yet, my hubby is cuter, in a "nerdy", "metrosexual", non-macho sort a way.

Nikki

23

Do you take Responsibility

by kerj2leev in

jw
friends

usually the one that doesnt want to be friends anymore wont recognize his/her part in the failure.. in jg wifes thread about being friends with your ex the above comment was made.

in failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.. in the past three years since my divorce i have come to except my part in the break-up of our marriage.

i have identified areas that i need to work on to be in a healthy relationship.

Nowman

Hello Kerj!

I am responsible for the break up of my 1st marriage. I took the steps to do it. I told him I wanted a divorce. He is not a bad person, and yes at some point we were in love. The 1st 5 years, there was a huge physical attraction. Yet, at some point in our marriage, I became bored of him. It was difficult because I felt guilty for my feelings changing for him. We had two children together. I never set out to have an affair, but I knew that he was not the person I wanted to be spend my life with. After the divorce, I really had no intent to marry anyone else due the fact of "what if my feeling change again"?

Although, I am not "friends" with my ex, we too have put the best interests of our children 1st. This means keeping my mouth shut once in a while and leading by example.

Taking repsonsibility is difficult but it takes a load off, makes the guilt go away.

Hope all is well with you!

Nikki

20

Saw my dad last night...

by tall penguin in

jw
friends

a few weeks ago i had a conversation with my mother (still a jw).

she told me that one of my fave elders, who was disfellowshipped a few months before i disassociated three years ago, just got reinstated.

now, to know my mother is to know that she doesn't give you information unless she has an underlying motive.

Nowman

Mothers...I am currently frustrated with my mother, and really do not know what to do. In summary, I lost contact with my mom from 92-2000, we reunited when she eventually was DF'd. Anyway, for 8 years we have tried to have a relationship. Its not normal, nor did I expect it to be with so much time lost at a critical growing point in my life.

So, it has been up and down with her for 8 years, she just came in on the 4th of July. The last day came around, we were outside together along with my aunt, my husband and 1 year old daughter were in the house.

My mom and I give each other hugs, I am thinking that she is still going to go inside and say goodbye to my husband and daughter (she lives in Arizona). My mom starts walking down the driveway with my Aunt, my Aunt looks at her and says, aren't you going to say goodbye to Jeremy (hubby) and Delanie (1 yr old)? My mom then says, "I can't" and they continue to walk down the driveway and thats it, have not heard from her since.

I know this is because she is inconsiderate and selfish. Frankly, I think she is a coward.

I am just saying that I understand what it feels like to be hurt by your mother. Whether a JW or a forner JW.

I just will not be like my mother.

With love, Nikki