Nowman

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Posts by Nowman

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  46

  Agnostic or Atheist?

  by done4good in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  for all of you non-religionists out there: do you consider yourself an agnostic or atheist, and why?

  it seems many ex-jws that "loose the faith" have a tendency to go straight for atheism.

  i myself, would consider myself more of an agnostic, as i believe we have no real way of knowing if there is a god one way or the other, and it tends to seem just as extreme to me, to insist that there is not one.

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  Nowman

  i am an agnostic which reminds me of a joke I posted some time ago...

  What do you call someone who is dislexic, agnostic, and has insomnia?

  ***Someone who stays up all night wondering if theres a dog***

  Ha Ha Hee Hee

  Nikki
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  37

  What are you reading - Summer 2006?

  by eyeslice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  always a popular thread the what are you reading at the moment thread?.

  my favourite reads for the summer of 2006:.

  the history of love by nicole krauss.

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  Nowman

  I am reading Angels and Demons, then I will move on to Da Vinci Code.....
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  16

  Feeling a bit lonely tonight

  by fullofdoubtnow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my bf has had to go to belfast today for work.

  he doesn't work away too often, this is only the 3rd time this year, and one of the times i went with him, but this time i have to stay home.

  i took him to the airport this morning, hugged him as he went to board his flight, and i've been ok all day, until he rang me about an hour ago.

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  Nowman

  My husband is rarely out of town but when he does go, I never really think that I'll have a hard time until hes gone. I all of a sudden feel "missing him badly". The same thing happens for him when I am gone. It must be true love, its sweet. Its nice to be missed....

  Nikki
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  41

  Rules you broke?

  by KW13 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  what rules did you find, you couldn't help breaking as a witness?.

  i swore sometimes, got me and a mate drunk, copied software e.t.c (caesars things to caesar), celebrated a birthday/christmas or two...went against some stuff we were told not to do in the young people ask book...erm.... how about you?

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  Nowman

  I was boy crazy in my teens (still am but for my husband these days), so I kissed alot of boys at school. I lead a double life. I snuck and went to a dance at school, got caught, then beaten. I also got in fist fight with my best friend in 7th grade, I went to her house. We swore at each other for awile, then I pushed her down and slapped her. She gets up, starts to come after me, I am backing away, then I grabbed a tree branch to hold onto, and then I knicked her in the chin. Then I started hyperventilating, she offered me some water, and that was it. I went home and thought my parents would not find out. The next day at school, it was the talk of the school. Somehow the teachers found out. This girl and I were called into the principals office and our parents were there to our surprise. I was taken home, and got beat again. By the way, that girl and I were best friends again the next day...lol.

  Oh, the life of a teenager...

  Nikki
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  10

  Do you feel the need to explain yourself.....?

  by vitty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after many years of having to explain why i wasnt at the meeting or fs.

  i have the really annoying habit of feeling i have to explain myself.

  for example, to my neighbours who never asked, why i hadnt mowed the lawn that weekend or to a friend why i hadnt phoned her for a few days.. how do i stop feeling this need to tell ppl of my short commings or flaws ???????????.

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  Nowman

  did that for many years and still do but I have great friends that tell me "STOP JUSTIFYING YOURSELF". I ve learned to catch myself and stop but its hard. I completely understand where you are coming from.

  Nikki
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  5

  Moms: watch the message you send to your children about dieting

  by Fleur in

  1. social
  2. physical

  this should be obvious but i wonder sometimes if we moms realize how much influence we have directly over our children no matter what we say because of our own body image and our own food issues.. recently i have been losing weight after discontinuing several medications known to add weight to you.

  my daughter picked up on the fact i have also eliminated a lot of the sugar (most of it) from my diet and has begun wondering if she needed to go on a diet.

  she is very athletic and has not a bit of body fat, so i sat her down straight away and explained to her that the weight i gained was unhealthy for me and that the medication was the main reason, that it has nothing to do with her or her body.. i am so worried about navigating the coming teen years with body issues for her because i had such bad problems with this in my own teens and adult life too.

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  Nowman

  I had an eating disorder for 6 years. It all started when my parents discovered this diet called "Fit for Life", it basically told you of what foods not to mix together so that they digest properly. I was always a chunky kid up until we went on this diet. I am 5-1", got down to 103 lbs. Well, my parents started to notice the wieght I had lost. Keep in mind, I was going to school, working part time, and aux pioneering, I was a very busy kid. My parents started wieghing me every day, they told me I had to be 105 and no less. They also did not care about flucutuation. So, every morning, dad had me get on the scale, if I was under 105, they would force me to eat about 5-10 cookies with a glass of milk, at about 10:00 oclock at night. It did not work, I wouldn't gain an ounce, I was too active, I was not trying to lose weight. Then they forbid me to take my walks that I liked to take. After some time, I became very distraguht about my wieght. I walked on "tip toes" at my house, worried that my parents were going to put me on that scale, they would get so mad if I was under 105. I was stressed. So, eventually, my parents also found out that my best friend had anorexica, and her mom suggested to my mom, that we not associate anymore because of the influence. After awhile, I was tired of my parents having this control over me, so I decided to take control. I started throwing up by force...when I left home and the org, I kept it up. It was my way of having control. Possibly, it was my way of getting back at my parents too, I don't know.

  Eventually, when I was 23, and weighed 87 lbs (believe me, I remember feeling so excited about this weight), I got pregnant with my daughter. I never did it again, but I won't say ti did not cross my mind...

  Eating disorders kill, I am so thankful I did not kill myself. My parents were so out of control with what they did, if anything, it made me go the other way, it led to an eating disorder. These days, you gotta be thin thin thin to be in. Its sad. You've got to be involved with your children and educate them about this, eating disorders are so easy to hide too, communicate!

  Nikki
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  26

  Celebrating holidays

  by dobbie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wondering if you still abstain from celebrating christmas birthdays etc or if you do celebrate them how long did it take to feel comfy with doing it after you'd left the jws?i'm fading at the moment but although me and hubby have talked about spending xmas with our nonjw families and i told him i was going to start sending bday cards to my family, the thought of it scares me like its a big huge sin.does it ever feel natural to celebrate holidays?i used to love all that sort of thing before i was a witness but when my mum and stepdad wished me happy bday last month it felt really odd and i was uneasy.i find it v confusing cos i can sort of see that jesus wasn't born in dec. but maybe he can have 2 bdays like the queen!also not being able to send fathers day cards this year was the final straw for me i felt so bad about it so i have lots of making up to do but just hope i can enjoy it all without feeling bad.

  i know they say some bday things have pagan origins but there are things jws can have or do that also are pagan.wedding rings for example.thanks

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  Nowman

  I love celebrating the holidays. At first, it was weird because I did not know what to do. Well, I ve been out for 14 years....I have become an extrememly festive person and I have an entire room for just decorations for the holidays, and I love it!!! I started traditions with my kids, traditions I never had, and can't get enough. I have to say though, putting the decorations up is fun, but the taking down is a bitch. Its all worth it to me!

  Nikki
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  26

  Questions....

  by schne_belly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well its been well over a year now that ive stepped foot into a kindgom hall.

  it was a rough start with many mixed emotions that i know many of you can relate to.

  over the past year ive learned so much about myself and others.

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  Nowman

  I have an example and to me it applies to this thread. Last year I ran into a friend of mine who I had not seen in 15 years, we were best friends while in the org...I then had to move to another hall...anyway when I ran into her....

  I was with some of my girlfriends, they went off so I could catch up with my friend from long ago....In conversation, I told her about my life, blah blah. Later in the conversation...she had told me she had just gotten out of prision, asked me if I like to party and what do I do? Meaning, she wanted to know if I did coke, because that was her drug of choice, I was like never tried, the girls and I will go out, we'll drink, but we don't do drugs, hell most of us have children...I was surprised that she still wanted to live this lifestyle...and by the way, I later found out she was with her sugar daddy.

  My point is when we started talking about the JW thing, she admitted she wanted to go back eventually, when I told her about Silent Lambs, and JWD, she had the gall to get self righteuous and say something like, "Nikki, I can't believe you look at those apostate sites, have you become an apostate"?...I could tell by her tone she was absolutely offended. I then realized this would be the last time I would speak to her again because I had no plans of returning to the cult. This girl was so brainwashed still after all these years and even had the nerve to try to lecture me about my life and not being a JW???? Yet, I was not offended that she had been in prision, still wanted to pursue her drugs, and continue to live that life, I just felt sorry for her, and was going to try to help her but she was going to turn on me because I was never going to be a JW again. Its absolutely insane and sick.

  Nikki
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  26

  Questions....

  by schne_belly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well its been well over a year now that ive stepped foot into a kindgom hall.

  it was a rough start with many mixed emotions that i know many of you can relate to.

  over the past year ive learned so much about myself and others.

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  Nowman

  Oh, the shunning thing and how it angers me too. To me, those that are JWs in your family, or your former JW friends....they really think they have the truth, they really feel they are doing the right thing, you can only hope they come to their senses. My mom finally did after 8 years of mot seeing her, but father is still a strong JW elder, and I have not seen or talked to him on 14 years. I was their only child. It hurts. But, he is missing out on so much, he has two grand kids, and soon to be a third. Hes the one missing out, not me. If only he could see how happy I was. Hes never met my husband either. He doesn't even know me anymore. Its his problem, not mine. It just takes time.

  Nikki
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  13

  advice please

  by miller in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am not a jw and never have been.

  actually i only just discovered what it really means to be a witness.

  i grew up thinking it all rather harmless door-knocking and not having christmas, (which seemed pretty grim to a kid in itself) now, however, i have begun a relationship with a jw, well, an 'inactive' (i think you say) witness.

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  Nowman

  Well, when I 1st left the JW org back in 1992, it affected my life for a long period of time. I was raised in such a brain washed cult, I could not help it. It took time for it to lose its hold on me. I completely understand your situation and it seems your man is lucky to have a girl like you. Overtime, it will be easier.

  Nikki