Nowman

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Posts by Nowman

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  29

  I need some advice...my first post!

  by Dehliah in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been around for awhile, but never registered for fear of giving my personal information (yes, that's how much the borg scares me.

  i was raised in the org, and left when i was 18. i realized that every religion firmly believed that they were correct, and that forced me to re-evaluate the religion on its merits, as opposed to my insistent belief.

  needless to say, i saw the man behind the curtain.

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  Nowman

  I left home when I was 18 too. I did not see my mom from 92-2000, my dad I have not seen since 92. It was tough, but I chose to never go back. I think it's terrible that many of us have struggled so much because of leaving the JWs, that in itself is just ugly.

  My parents were major JW. I was not. Eventually, through life experience that includes trying to enjoy life and make improvements as you learn, things will work out and the JW thing will be further and further away. Luckily for me, we were the only 3 JWs in my familiy (A Great Aunt was), all the rest were not and I had their support and low and behold "worldly people".

  Hang in there and take care.

  Nikki
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  21

  Time to simplify

  by RollerDave in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  funny how life can be.. you chase your dreams, mean well, do your best to live large, and twist life bu the nipples; but there's only so many hours in a day, only so many days in a week, and only 365.25 days in a year.. i realize i'm swamped.

  i find myself rolling around like a big fat chicken on wheels that has been separated from his head quite suddenly.. i think i have become the victim of my own success.. the more you have, the more maintenance and upkeep you have to procrastinate.. i'm only a man, i can only avoid so much work!.

  barely got the boat winterized before the cold, evil fingers of minnesnowta's dominant season could work their frigid havoc, boy, i am starting to wonder if i am really 'boat people.

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  Nowman

  RollerDave,

  Your email really got me thinking. If you (in general not you RD) as a person will do all ones self (I'll even give you some help from the family) and then add to it because its exciting because you may be down and out about the "weight on your shoulders" all around you, then eventually they will have a heart attack so to speak. I admire the fact that you wrote reality. I think simple is better, but it can be boring too. Yet, how about balance, this is the hardest for me.

  I would say you are well on your way to improving your life, take it one day at a time, as you know it will take time, be patient, and make room for whats important to you now. Just because you acuired all of that over the yeas whether it be impulse, or just a good deal, who knows...but that was memorable in your life and you did get enjoyment at one point, don't be too hard on yourself.

  Nikki
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  236

  For the ladies. Do you think that when you.....

  by NotaNess in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dress to impress, get all slathered up and have your little or lots of flesh showing, depending on your blouse, skirt, pants or shorts....that people(men) are not supposed to stare at you?.

  seriously, if your at home in your closet deciding which outfit you're gonna wear to work, school or out to play, and thinking how you'll look more attractive in this or that....do you not know that guys are gonna stare at you?

  but you see these females on occasion that will get all in an uproar when some guy is staring at them....but hello...didn't you choose with pin-point accuracy, the exact top that's gonna reveal your cleavage at it's fullest?????

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  Nowman

  I like getting dressed up, and when I dress down, its almost like getting dressed up because its something different. I love fashion, and I like to feel good about myself. I think woman know when they look real good on those particlular days (if all of them, but lets be human, we woman have days where we just do not feel as good as other days) and enjoy the respectable stares they may notice, or maybe they can feel it. Basically, I admit that its great to feel confident and get some attention. I need it, not horribly bad, but I need it. I ask my husband once in while if he still thinks I am thin, only on days where there is insecurity in the air. Its not a quality I have, but sometimes you need some re-assurance.

  Thats how I look at it.

  Nikki
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  42

  What did you not like about the paradise?

  by reneeisorym in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have always loved it when the seasons changes.

  i was always told that we would have temerate weather all of the time and the seasons wouldn't chage.

  i always thought i would miss the changing leaves, budding flowers after it has been so cold, and the snow.

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  Nowman

  The idea of paradise earth was attractive to me, because really I did not want to be an angel anyway. I wanted my own flesh and skin. At this point in my life, who knows what is going to happen to me, but this is how I used to think about it.

  NIkki
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  137

  I hate Walmart!

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i rarely ever set foot in the place and will go out of my way to avoid shopping there.

  tonight i made the mistake of giving walmart the benefit of the doubt and walked in the door.. they didn't have the main item i was looking for, but they did have one other small item.

  i headed to the front to check out only to find they had only a few check-outs open and all of the lines were far too long.

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  Nowman

  I avoid Walmart almost always, but now that I have a new baby girl, I find that I have my mom-in-law go there when she makes her round there (hey, she offers), baby needs are cheaper there. Otherwise, I can't stand it. I think it smells funny in there too. I prefer Target. These days I prefer it most of all because I love baby clothes!

  Ha. Nikki
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  31

  How do you know...

  by coolhandluke in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  if your so is cheating on you?

  well, she's not my so anymore.

  she decided a few days ago that she didn't have it in her to continue the relationship.

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  Nowman

  I don't know your situation very well, so I will go with my instinct. Sounds like she is making a bunch of excuses not to have a relationship with you anymore, her mentioning all the things wrong with herself as to why she cannot be with you, sounds to me like a bunch of BS. Sorry, I am woman who has three children of my own. I was divorced with two of them 8 years ago, the realtionship did not work because I was not attracted to him anymore. I wanted out of the marriage, I could not see myself staying with someone that I was repulsed by in bed, sorry for my bluntness. My point is, this was the honest truth. Yet, at the time, I was afraid of hurting my ex-husband so I gave him false hope by words I chose to sugar coat things, but all it did was make it harder.

  As for the child support, just because the ex lives with someone else, or has remarried, does not mean child support will be reduced. Child support does get reduced, but its so costly to fight it out, plus I believe in peace, working together to raise the kids while divorced, it can happen correctly so that the kids have a good childhood, this is the best way to be, as long as two people can be fair.

  Sounds to me like you can find a much better, stable woman, who is HONEST.

  Nikki
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  29

  Wine drinkers

  by golf2 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  how many on this forum enjoy drinking wine or beer?

  on what occasions do you drink wine or beer?

  these are start off ?

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  Nowman

  I love wine but I avoid it because it makes me bold and brazon, not that I mind a good buzz, but I can have 2 glasses of Woodbridge Chardonnay and be completely blasted! Red wine makes my stomach gurgle the next day. Me no drink wine anymore.

  Nikki
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  25

  Did the DFing policy make you emotionally distant?

  by Open mind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those who spent many years in the jw religion, what effect did the knowledge that your friends or family could instantly be "poofed" out of existence by a judicial committee have on you?

  did it cause you to withdraw emotionally?

  looking back over the decades, ( i'm a 3rd gen jw in my forties, mentally out but physically in ) i can remember consciously thinking about whether a new friend was going to be around "for the long haul".

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  Nowman

  I knew all my friends and mom and dad would shun me. I was actually a regular pioneer when I left, I went out in service all day, the day I left. I told no one about my plans that were JWs. All my friends were pioneers, when I tried to feel them out about what they may have stuggled with, regarding the org, their reaction made me stop talking to them about it.

  The whole JW thing effected me alot during my 20s. I was raised a witness until I was 18. The day I went out into the real world, I was excited and scared. I never had a problem making new friends, but I did have some inner issues within myself that stem from what happened at my house in the org. I think my tendancy was more self destructive, which I did to get back at my parents for a long time. For the longest time, I questioned myself out of guilt, so many thoughts and all because of that stupid cult!

  Nikki
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  64

  When Meetings Went Overtime, What Did You Do?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i used to start looking at the clock behind me, look at my watch, look at the speaker or person handling the part and give obvious facial expressions expressing my dissatisfaction.

  it was a pet peeve of mine!

  a few times when i had the last part in a service meeting, i'd say, rather sternly,"this originally was a 15 minute part but because we are running out of time, we will dispense with (whatever).".

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  Nowman

  I would feel the blood boil under my skin because I anxiously wanted to leave and go home or I wanted to talk to a cute boy at the hall. Ha. I just remembered being annoyed.

  Nikki
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  23

  What kind are you!

  by brokenperfection in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what kind of elders daughter are you?.

  i am a elders daughter currently and would like to know how you feel about being an elders daughter.

  tell some of your experinces or situations cause of you being an elders daughter.. thanks .

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  Nowman

  I was an elders daughter, I was DF'd 15 years ago this month. I was an only child, so everyone knew me as the one with the parents that were so strict. I was not allowed to do much. When I shocked everyone 15 years ago by having the guts to leave, my dad stepped down as an elder after that...me leaving was too much for them. Mom stopped pioneering too.

  Oh well. Dad is still in, have not seen him since 92. Mom is out, has been DFd since 2000.

  Nikki