Wow, welcome! After I was done reading your post, the 1st thing that I thought of was perhaps your dad put "lousy father" because of the guilt he felt raising you that way because in 2008 (and b4) he has doubts? I think you have courage, and what you went thru was diffcult.
I was born in. My mom left the religion in 2000 (became one at 17) - it messed with her mind, she tried to commit suiside also, twice. She does not know how to be a part of normal society, she escapes with meds, and alchohol. Its sad. But, she is in my life, so I will take it. But, she always feels guilt, she has a hard being around me because of her guilt, it consumes her. I wish she would let it go, and at least make an attempt to make her life great. It seems at this point, she does not have it in her.
Best wishes to you...make your life GREAT.
Nikki