Well, I suggest he see a psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders; he also may need medication. A good psychologist should help him find the root cause of the problem, but he has to want to help himself as well. Most people who go throughh these type of things wait too long to get help allowing the illiness to impact relationships, careers, self-esteem, etc... It actually is treatable if he gets help. thecarpenter aka thepsychologist
thecarpenter
JoinedPosts by thecarpenter
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Social Anxiety Disorders
by Thinking of Leaving inhi everyone, the guy i'm currently dating suffers from social phobia and it's beginning to affect our relationship.
does anyone have any experience dealing with this?
i have to admit this is all new to me, most of the guys i've dated are pretty normal, but this one seems to need some extra care.
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Today is Danny Haszard's birthday!
by Dogpatch ingive the man a heads up, although he would never make this known himself, but.... he's a jolly good fellow... :-)).
thanks for all you do danny, and have a happy next year!.
randy.
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New here....Tired of pain
by Momma of 2 ini don't have a lot of time to post at the momment.
i am a new mother of twin boys...when i get an update picture of both of them together i will use it as my icon..til then you just see jimmy.
here is a link to my story, it was posted on another wonderful board.. http://p196.ezboard.com/fexjehovahswitnessforumfrm14.showmessage?topicid=377.topic.
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thecarpenter
Welcome Bandy, it is good to have you here. Read your story and you certainly have been through a lot. It is good you saw through the witnesses for what they are, you will learn much more from this site as time goes by. I hope you enjoy your stay and when you get a chance, maybe you can come to some of the get togethers we have around the US, even in england.
the carpenter -
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HOPE for the best and expect the WORST and you'll not be disappointed!
by Terry inbad things do happen for a reason.
here is the reason.. for bad things not to happen only good things would always be happening.. then, "good" would lose relative distinction with less "good".
the less good would start to look bad in comparison.. suddenly, what use to seem only good would be bad by contrast.. is this crazy talk?.
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thecarpenter
I prefer 'hope for the best, prepare for the worst'... I do this when I prepare for tests or other assignments at school, I haven't been caught unprepared for a test yet.
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Crazy in Dallas Pics... A little at a time...
by Sparkplug in.
p2 or pleaser2000.
we have p2, with my kids, myself and arrowstar to start!.
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thecarpenter
wow, I really envy the great time you folks had in texas. I will get myself out there one day. I'm glad it worked out well.
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Adjusting well after leaving the dubs
by greendawn inafter you left the jws what were some milestone events that helped you adjust to normal life outside the cult eg meeting a genuinely christian group, or getting a good job with high income, marrying a nice "worldly" person.
after leaving i had a nice girlfriend which helped a lot to ease the tensions and an interesting job where i met a lot of people and had some good social life.
soon the jw world became a distant storm far below and after the internet came out i got the long since needed information on some still outstanding issues and lost all esteem for them as i realised the fds was definitely an elaborate con.
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thecarpenter
Hey Tyrone, I'm sorry to hear what you went through, This sort of makes me realize why it is so important to get as much information as you can before leaving and then plan your exit out carefully so that you don't experience the full shock of the shunning and lack of social support.
From a psychological standpoint, you need to do some deprogramming (that's why you gather the info) to realize the dishonesty of the organization; this step also helps to relieve any residue guilt feelings. That makes it easier to start separating yourself from the mind control and also start pursuing outside support structures and friends (I started rebuilding a friendships with my non-witness brother, neighbors and coworkers). Another thing that helped me enormously when I left was the determination not to fall into self-pity and self-destructive behavior trap. I wanted the dubs to see me as someone who was succeeding outside their little world.
One more thing that helped very much was going back to college to finish my degree. I absolutely love it and I recommend it to everyone. Education is life-affirming and really does help you to see outside the box. It also helps in a social way, so many beautiful chicks....
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Are you: Disfellowshipped; Disassociated; Irregular: Memorial Attender: N
by mtsgrad ingood evening,.
i am a virgin to this forum do bear with me!.
i am curious who visits.
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Arguments JW's can't argue with.....I think???
by Adolfius inthese are just a couple of arguments i think would cause any half sane jw (if any current and actively brainwashed "true believer" could ever be described as sane), to stop and think for themselves.. thinking person: is the bible and the events it describes true and factual?.
jw: yes.....to the letter.. thinking person: could evolution be true?.
jw: no way.. thinking person: ok, so i just want to get this perfectly clear; evolution in no way happened, is happening, or possibly ever will happen?
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thecarpenter
this arguement won't work because it would be the same as the different species of dogs, cats, horse, cows, etc...
If I was still a JW, I would say that Jehovah God merely activated different genes in the DNA to produce different variations within a species.
Problem solved! -
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Crazy in Dallas Pics... A little at a time...
by Sparkplug in.
p2 or pleaser2000.
we have p2, with my kids, myself and arrowstar to start!.
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thecarpenter
wow, what a great group, I wish I could have gone but I had tests and term papers to do.... crap! Great pictures by the way sparky
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My Discovery- I Broke Free of WTS Because I Can Admit Mistakes
by OnTheWayOut ini am reading mistakes were made (but not by me)- why we justify foolish.
beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts.
it came highly recommended .
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thecarpenter
Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term which describes the uncomfortable tension that comes
from holding two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one's
beliefs. More precisely, it is the perception of incompatibility between two cognitions, where "cognition" is
defined as any element of knowledge, including attitude, emotion, belief, or behavior. The theory of cognitive
dissonance states that contradicting cognitions serve as a driving force that compels the mind to acquire or
invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to reduce the amount of dissonance (conflict)
between cognitions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonanceActually it is the rationalization, the excuses we make to decrease the uncomfortable feeling we have that kept us in the organization. Cognitive dissonance is the realization that there something wrong and we feel uneasy. So we are driven to make plausible excuses.
There are other psychological factors at play here as well. There is a psychological need to socialize with people and this leads to the pressure of conformity, if everyone else listens and accepts what's being said, we feel the added pressure to conform (we don't want to appear foolish or the oddball). Click on this youtube link , it is fasinating.
There is another psychological factor at play in the congregation, that is the pressure to be obedient to the elders, society, governing body. Stanley Milgram preformed a test to see what are the factors that lead to obedience to authority and how far we would go. It was absolutely shocking to see how far people will go to be obedient. Google Milgram's shock machine and read up on the experiment and see if you can locate a video of the experiment.
What got me out was when I started refusing to make unreasonable excuses and rationalization for the organization, conformity and obedience be damned!