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Posts by Dawn
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5It Did Not Occur! Neither Will It Occur Today.
by Blueblades inrussell:1874, 1878, 1881, 1914, 1915 ( died 1916 ).
rutherford:1918, 1920, 1925, 1931,early 1940s ( died 1942 ).
knorr / franz: 1954, 1972, 1975 ( knorr died in 1977, franz died in 1992 ).
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13
A spin-off to Does it ever get easier?
by Joysome inmy question is regards to family though.
does missing your mother ever get easier?
does not wanting to hurt her or even others in the congregation get easier?
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Dawn
hugs to all of you who are dealing with this. It is soooo hard, I know. My mom only calls when she needs something from me. She's 70 and I do take care of her when she needs it - but there's no visiting, no lunches together, nothing. She occasionally drops by - but only rarely now and I think out of guilt because she knows I do a lot for her. The truth is, if my brothers (elders) lived here I wouldn't hear from her at all.
Don't know if this will help you - but I made a decision in November (after some hurtful things my mother said to me) - that family doesn't have to be blood relation. Family is much more. So I have chosen to embrace those in my life that are truly family. I have two very close friends that are like sisters to me - they have replaced my brothers that shun me. They're there for me no matter what - and much more fun too! I have a mother-in-law and father-in-law that adore me and told me I was their daughter.
It's not that the pain goes away - I love my mom so much and wish we could have that close relationship again- but its not going to happen and I have to accept that. I think of the scripture in Isaiah 61:3 "and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair" - after all - how much did those people really contribute to me as a person? If they are willing to throw me aside and treat me so awful - is this the family I want? I can choose who I want in my circle of family - and I choose someone else. I choose to make beauty from ashes.
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Dawn
Well.........
some of us had a little meetin's here last week and we're planning another one for April. So anyone from eastern WA area - if you would like to join us - PM me and I'll send you the place and time. We had 5 people last week and 2 more that couldn't make it but plan to attend in April.
I so much enjoyed it - it was like we were old friends instantly!
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Why I wasn't such a good witness.......
by Dawn ini was thinking about my past as a jw today and realized that i never did fit the mold quite right.
i studied, went to the meetings, out in service, and all those things so i appeared to be a great example.
and i really did love god and wanted to do the right thing.
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Dawn
Wow - what nice compliments. Thanks - that means a lot to me!
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Dawn
Anyone here from eastern Washington?
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15
I am being published
by larc ini just got accepted by a journal for publication.
it will be in the:interational rublic management association for human resources.
it will be in print in about six months.
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Dawn
Congrats!! I look forward to reading your writing.
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43
Does it ever get easier?
by Surfacing inmy heart is palpitating even as i write this.
it was only recently that i was introduced to this site.
i had long had doubts but could never bring myself to peer over the wall built in my head about the evils of apostates.
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Dawn
Welcome surfacing!
Your story really struck a cord with me - I suffered from guilt at not doing "enough" for years. I was eventually DF'd basically because I gave up, I couldn't do enough and I knew I wasn't good enough so why bother.
The answer to your question "does it get any easier" is YES! I was petrified to look at anything that might be "apostate" - but I had so many questions - so I was stuck there for years. It took 12 years for me to finally reach that cross roads where I knew I had to make a decision - move on or go back. I started praying to God again, only this time I didn't spend all my time apologizing for how awful I was and begging for mercy - I just told him all the questions that I had and that I wanted to research but I was scared. It was an amazing turning point in my life because immediately after I finished the prayer that night a thought came into my head - a very strong overpowering word - just one word - ASK! And I knew - he was telling me it was ok to research. The truth is there to be found and only by searching with an open mind can we find it. So I started to research.
That was a big turning point in my life.
As for your comments about guilt over not preaching to someone who might later die at Armageddon - you're putting an awful lot of responsibility on your own shoulders and not recognizing that God is much bigger than that. No one is going to miss out on eternal life because you failed to talk to them about Jesus - the bible makes it clear that it is the Holy Spirit's job to reach people with the message. We are only the tools he uses. Sometimes we're right on target - and sometimes we screw up and miss the pitch - but we're only human and he doesn't loose the ball game because of us. He puts another player on bat and gives us another chance later on. Your salvation does not come because you preached to enough people - it comes through faith in Jesus.
Romans 3:21-23 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
My advice to you - stop trying to carry the load of the world on your shoulders. Jesus has already taken on that load.
Hang in there. From someone who has made it through to the other side - life is wonderful!
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Why I wasn't such a good witness.......
by Dawn ini was thinking about my past as a jw today and realized that i never did fit the mold quite right.
i studied, went to the meetings, out in service, and all those things so i appeared to be a great example.
and i really did love god and wanted to do the right thing.
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Dawn
I was thinking about my past as a JW today and realized that I never did fit the mold quite right. I studied, went to the meetings, out in service, and all those things so I appeared to be a great example. And I really did love God and wanted to do the right thing. I was used as an "example" in meeting parts and a circuit assembly while still a teenager.
But - I always thought that the truth could conquer any amount of criticism or research so didn't understand why the control in that area. And instead of shunning the "weak" ones I was always drawn to them - my heart tugged for people in tough situations and I made it a point to talk with them at meetings, go visit them at their home. Sometimes I even dropped off food or gave $$ to people who needed it.
My mother would warn me about hanging out with some of the weaker ones - she was worried that they might discourage me - or that it would give a bad appearance. Most of the time I didn't care - in fact, it pissed me off that people would be more concerned about appearances than people.
I argued that it was better to spend time doing charity (or giving to charity) to help a person NOW, and then feed them spiritually later. What good is it to give someone spiritual food if they can't focus on it because they're destitute and in need?
Well - like I said - I wasn't such a good witness after all. But I realize now that's a good thing.
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You too could be a very happy Jehover's Witness!!!
by Elsewhere in.
all you have to do is:believe everything the watchtower bible and tract society tells youdo everything the watchtower bible and tract society tells youdon't do anything the watchtower bible and tract society tells you not to dodo not question anything about watchtower bible and tract society or what it teaches.
if you think you can do all of these thing, then you would likely make a very happy and sucessful jehover's witness!
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Dawn
How about I keep my freedom and my open mind and just be happy
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My life ... and how JWD came to be - Part 3
by Simon infor me, the walls of the watchtower were not destroyed by a single giant cannon-ball but rather every brick had been weakened and suddenly the whole thing just 'collapsed'.. i've alwys been an avid reader and a firm believer that you can learn anything and everything from a good book.
anyway, i was reading a bad book, the creation book, and this time things were different.. normally, the mere thought that the wts could "not be right" could not even be contemplated.
it was like you can't even comprehend the concept or understand the question, least of all imagine it.. yet now, i read the book and things were screaming at me from the pages.
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Dawn
Thank you for sharing your story - I look on here every day to see if you've posted the next Part. You have done a wonderful thing with this site - I can't thank you enough in how much it has helped me move past the JW hold.