Quandry

Joined

• started 13 topics
• posted 4,150 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Quandry

• 
  55

  The Bastard told on my dad

  by Lilycurly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so...everything had been fine for a while.

  i wrote my da letter, very clear and also very surprinsingly "apostate" according to the elders.

  so at first, dad does what he's told is right and starts the shunning.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  I am also sorry that you were hurt, but am of the same opinion that maybe this guy has done your dad a favor.

  He is really upsetting your entire family.

  He is, in effect, trying to usurp your dad's headship over his wife. The elders are doing the same thing. They are telling your mom who she can associate with, and letting your dad know that if you and your mom are together, he must stay at home by himself or risk disfellowshipping, or he must demand that she does not associate with you, either.

  Let them continue to squeeze him in this way. As with others that have been on this forum can attest, the treatment of your dad and ultimatums to him may backfire.
• 
  40

  Right Now-----How Do You Feel?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  at this moment are you content, depressed, angry?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  Okie-

  Sorry that you are sick. Especially if you are still in college, and classes are about to start. Mine does, next week.

  I just read a story about a woman whose family were migrant workers, but some people along the way helped her to see how valuable she was. She got a GED from High School, then went to college, then graduate school, then got her DOCTORATE DEGREE!!!! Wow, that is impressive. Now she gives programs on how to help young people from poor backgrounds make it in school. She has also helped to break the cycle of no education, drugs, incarceration, etc. in her family. She rocks. So do you.

  Take some vitamins. Drink orange juice. Don't give in. You can do it. You will do it.

  By the way to answer the question of this post, how do I feel? My husband and I started talking this morning about the feelings we have. Even though we are through with the B-Org. we are angry, angry still angry. Don't know when those feelings will ever leave us.
• 
  11

  "Ego" da man ?

  by Tigerman in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it occurred to me that one's ego must play a rather large part in deciding, as an adult, whether or not to become a jehovah's witness.. after all, after joining, one then has a purpose in life, a purpose and calling that could not come from any higher source.

  to finally understand the bible ( so few people - even religious leaders don't understand it completely like i will someday .

  .and now i will be one of just a handful of people on earth to truly know the word of god !

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  I can't speak for others but it was definetely not ego for me. One reason that this is probably so is because as a female, you are not joining an organization that is going to recognize your abilities or talents. You are not going to be in any position of authority or any limelight. Any ego was squashed by being told over and over that you are on the bottom rung of subjection. And you could not forget that fact, for you were continually reminded at the meetings.

  I truly thought I was serving God. That is the only reason that I was willing to go in service over and over to people who looked down on me and did not want to see me. Also, my family was opposed, and this caused much pain.

  However, I was in this organization for over thirty years, being baptised as a young adult. I have seen small men with gigantic egos.I have heard talks from elders telling others that they should be pioneers when they weren't, telling others that we should not be materialistic when they had lots of money, saying that we must be at all the meetings when they had jobs that kept them from being regular.

  Then there were those who assigned the cleaning, but had "important duties" to attend to so that they could not do the labor themselves. Ususlly this entailed standing around discussing vital "elderspeak." The elder who was instrumental in df'ing my daughter wore a white t shirt to the book study on a Sat. morning because all were to do yard work on our new hall, and were instructed that we could wear work clothing to the study. Of course, after the study was over, he stood around talking for a few minutes, got in his car and left, leaving the rest of us to do the yard work in close to 100 degree Texas heat. What really got me was that at this time my teen daughter was appealing her df'ing and was THERE WITH US PULLING WEEDS IN THE HEAT AFTER HE LEFT!!!!!

  Oh, I guess the list could go on. Most of the ones who are truly egotistical are still in. Gotta have regular shots of adulation. Seems the ones who were sincere have since found out obout the egotism and are now posting their stories here.
• 
  22

  A Connection Between Sickness and JW Lifestyle

  by choosing life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've noticed several people on this board mention they have fms and similar type afflictions.

  fms is known to be brought about by physical/emotional stress.

  i have suffered from it for many years.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  A poster on another thread mentioned that he used to go to the "five weekly beatings." I thought that was an accurate summation of the meetings.

  I didn't suffer actual ill health, but was constantly tired because of the pace of job, study, perfect meeting attendance, field service, elder's wife clean house, car, etc. Makes me exhausted just thinking about it.

  I was also stressed because I wasn't a pioneer, I made mistakes, my talks weren't to my satisfaction, I could never manage to study for every meeting,I hated field service, and the low paying job I have, because, of course, no higher education.

  One reason I think I feel better now is that on Saturday mornings, my husband and I work in the yard, and afterward sit in the back with a cold drink and watch the lizards and hummingbirds and our cats lounging on the porch. We can talk and relax. It takes some of the stress out of the job.

  Come to think of it, I feel better now.
• 
  5

  'AS' needs some support right now... Help appreciated!

  by mkr32208 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...ug where to start.... .

  the family has been in ny for the last few weeks.

  sunday we got a call that 'as's grandmother had died.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  AS-

  My dad died not too long ago. It was difficult to get through. What makes the going easier is when you have those that love you. Apparently your husband loves you very much as he is thinking of you and how he can help you through encouragement from others. Sounds like he is a real keeper.

  Also, your Grandma was fortunate to have a granddaughter who loved her so much. Many people go through life very lonely. She knew that she was cared about.

  In the end we all die; it's how we live that is important. If you are always trying to do for others you will make life better for yourself and those around you.

  Sounds like you are under alot of stress right now. Hope soon things calm down. Will be thinking of you.
• 
  16

  Judicial committee experiences.

  by Zico in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  recently ive been doing a lot of research on judicial committees, as my friend is currently going through one, as mentioned here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/118972/1.ashx

  i just posted an update.

  one thing ive noticed in my research, is that there is no scriptural support to back up the judicial committee system.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  I have never been in the "back room," however, my teen daughter, straight A student, shy, never been in trouble in the congo or school was.

  There was a small group of girls, teens, that were feeling grown up in the summer. My teen tasted alcohol, took a couple of puffs from a cig., and did a couple of other silly teen things.

  What the elders did was use police tactics to get each girl to blame the other, including outright lies, slander, and false accusations.

  My daughter and her Dad had to wait in a room for four and one half hours before they began the meeting, after nine at night.

  The committee forced all the girls "name the ringleader of the gang." It was absured. There was no such thing, but they wouldn't take no for an answer.

  They assured my husband that there was no accusation of fornication, then in the second JC meeting, spent over two and one half hours reading every condemning scripture in the Bible and applying them to her, trying to force her to admit to fornication.

  They humiliated, berated, and demeaned her, and each time she would say she did not commit fornication, they would sneer, and say, NO, NO! and shake their heads.

  They finally, at the end, called her a liar, made her read a scripture at Rev.and applied it to her-God viewed her as filth, and she would burn in the lake of fire with the devil and his angels.

  There was not the first kind word, there was no counsel on the things she actually did do, and no chance of coming out of that room without being df'd.

  The chairman told her she was df'd and if she was still df'd at Armageddon, she could take some comfort in knowing that Jehovah can read hearts.

  The meeting was over at about one in the morning. She had school the next day.

  Do you imagine that this was a most dissilutioning experience?

  In short, they threw away the instuctions for holding a JC meeting. Made up their own rules. After all, there is no one to check their hand.
• 
  23

  Can you be DF'd for apostasy without promoting apostate views?

  by gymbob in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  i saw something on this subject a few years ago in a publication from brooklyn but can't find it now.

  it referred to the 8/1/80 wt about what the greek word for apostasy really means, 'a standing away from', but showed that a person didn't have to share what he believed that differed from what the society taught to be df'd for it.. blondie!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  I would say check the recent posts from Lennyinbluemont-he did. Other posters here have also been df'd for just asking questions about the UN scandal-not for spreading anything.
• 
  42

  Problem with an elder

  by Zico in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a friend in my congregation.

  he's completely indoctrinated, and genuinely believes everything the organisation teaches, but he's still a good person, and he stands up for things when he knows somethings wrong.

  as you can imagine, this often causes problems, and there is an arrogant elder who he has had many run ins with in the past.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  If the Uncle said that his nephew is blowing everything out of proportion, I fail to see the need for a JC.

  What a crock.

  Maybe if your friend is df'd for nothing, this will "enlighten" him without your help.
• 
  23

  The irritating slant to almost everything negative I have seen on Witnesses

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i left the witnesses, a person from work gave me a video about the witnesses that his church uses.

  i thought it would be interesting, so i set down and watched it.

  what i found was another example of one church taking about another, to then counter with points that support their way of thinking.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  Yes, but I think it may have somthing to do with being irritated at people in general who give opinions about things they know nothing about. When my husband and I were newly married, in our twenties, he worked with a guy who always acted as though he was an authority on anything. We would think up topics to discuss to see if he would give his opinions and views on the subject. Once we started talking about brain surgery. Of course, he started right in........

  Years ago, around 1973, I was in a used everything store. There was an old book that gave the beliefs of religions. It stated that Jehovah's Witnesses practiced female circumcision. I am not kidding. I was just studying at the time.

  Well, we all know that some of the past doctrines and suggestions from the WT have been weird, but this was clearly absured.
• 
  28

  DID YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH ELDERS IN YOUR CONGREGATIONS?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Quandry

  What indeed would the elders want to do with a fifteen year old girl's underwear? The prospect is just too sick to think about.

  What it amounts to is that these men felt that they had ultimate power. There was nothing beyond the scope of their questions or realm. They were the ones in complete control. They would determine if the panties were proper wear under the clothes of a fifteen year old. Their purpose was to humiliate and demean.

  The chairman of the JC made the statement to this girl's father that "little girl's sleepovers are lesbian training grounds." This man obviously had no respect for women and viewed them as sex objects and dirt.

  The panties were not brought in for these men to handle.

  I know this account seems incredulous. Truth is stranger than fiction in the Borg.