Posts by Quandry

25

My dad wont make it too much longer, advise/experiences needed

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

14 years ago

hello all at jwn,.

so my mom called to tell me that my dad wont be able to come back home, he has been on kidney dialysis (along with having congestive heart failure and diabetes and dimentia...) but now he is breaking down and will have to be admitted to a hospice center for the remainder of his time left (without dialysis wont be two weeks).

most of you know my situation, faded (not dfd or dad) but most of my family treats me like i am disfellowshipped except my mom and she keeps getting warnings from elders to cut off dealings with me- my dad is inactive but as head of the household he demands that i be able to visit and take care of mom and dad (so my mom must be submissive to his wishes).

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

So sorry you are in this situation.

This short time available to you should be focused on your father and being with him, and being with your mother to provide strength and comfort.

This is not the time to discuss any "issues" the JWs have, and you need to let them know this, repeatedly if necessary. There will be plenty of time later for you to formulate plans for dealing with elders, etc., but no time left with dad. When the time has passed, you will be able to look back and know that you did all you could for your dad, and that is the important thing at this time. It does not matter what the words are that are said at the gravesite, just the fact that you are there to remember your dad and be a source of support for your family.

Do NOT get "sucked into" a religious discussion of any sort, no matter how hard anyone tries. You will leave frustrated, and will be giving them what they want, no matter how it comes out.

Wishing the best for you at a very difficult time.

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51

This past weekend I lost my mom

by lola28 in

jw
friends

14 years ago

the cancer finally got to her and now my sisters and i are left without our mother.

we take comfort only in knowing that she is no longer in pain.

how do people move on from such a massive loss?.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

So very sorry. I have lost both of my parents. It is hard, very hard. Please allow yourself to grieve. How wonderful that you have sisters to be with you.

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28

Study Conductor Challenge (plus hello!)

by educatingMyself in

14 years ago

alreet everyone!.

i've been watching and learning for a while, nice one on helping me see the real truth!.

long story short -> got interested in christianity, jws first to ask me about it, studied for a few months, realised they were wrong, tried to be a good undercover apostate, got bored, left, joined a local protestant church.. anyway thats not the reason i'm posting.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

Speaking from past experience as a JW-when a study brings up a question, usually a conductor is already thinking of an answer instead of really listening. You could find yourself beating your head againsta a wall, and become frustrated.

Only if you are really in it for helping someone out of the organization do I advise taking this on. It is a loooooong-term project, with possibly no results other than the person accusing you eventually of being apostate.

Please, if you have something better to do,.......

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27

~Moving forward..searching for a good therapist~

by freeflyingfaerie in

14 years ago

alright, that's it!

after writing this, i am on a serious search for a good therapist~.

i've been coming here on and off for a little over a year now(wish i had found it sooner) ...for validation and clarity in my feelings about how hurtful the religion is...so i don't feel so alone about it, and so i don't feel like i am losing my mind~.

13 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

I got myself this far, but I want to keep purging out the ache, the pain...until it doesn't hurt quite so bad. There are times when I feel so recovered, so clear and so strong.

You are doing great! You've come a long way, and have shown much strength. Many of us feel the same way you do-some times we feel the pain-whether families that shun, no education, no friends, etc.. Therapists are professionals who have been trained to help. I hope you are able to find one that has some idea of what JWs are all about, or are familiar with shunning and its repercussions.

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115

How should I respond to a JW friend? (Australia)

by summerinvincible in

jw
friends

14 years ago

sorry if this isn't the right place to post this - brand new member here.. i recently caught up with an old friend who is a jw.

she's been witnessing to me, and i've accepted all her handouts because i don't want to hurt her feelings.

but now she's asking me for my "thoughts" about what i've read so far.

12 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

Actually she did mention the whole Camping thing when I mentioned it on my Facebook. She basically quoted a scripture from Matthew and said "Fear-mongering, how silly" and in relation to JWs changing their story in 1914, she has written to me "We learn from mistakes and don't continue to teach incorrect things like others do. Increased knowledge often requires adjustments in one's thinking. Witnesses are willing humbly to make such adjustments"....

Welcome to the forum.

You have your subject. How fortunate that Harold Camping led the way for your discussion! No, we wouldn't want to be deceived, so questions should be welcomed! Please look at this website. She probably has never done research into the "changes" concerning 1914, and how that year was chosen in the first place. You can help her to become more knowledgeable about her own organization. Your questions seem very respectful, and non-accusatory. Also, please become familiar with the quotes about 1975...talk about "fear mongering!" The Watchtower Society all but stated that Armageddon would come in 1975. When it did not, they published an article that basically blamed the members for beleiving what they published!

http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/1914_generation.html

I have a feeling that you will find out more than you ever cared to know about JWs from this website, and will be much more informed than she is when you are through.

Keep us posted on your progress!

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20

Wish I Would Have Left Earlier

by EmptyInside in

jw
friends

14 years ago

i know everyone's situation is different.

and no matter what age one is when they finally say enough of the religion,it's difficult.. but,from what i have observed among my friends,it appears that those who left in their teens/early 20's fare a bit better.. my two close friends who were disfellowshipped in their teens/early twenties,seemed to do fairly well with the transition.

of course,i know they went through a great deal of pain to get where they are today.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

Oh, boy....we all wish we'd left sooner, no matter how old we are! Me? I left in my early fifties. I am now 59 and in college, and since I still work full time I have one year and a half at least to go...but....I have made it my goal. I will have my degree, if I die the day after I get it!

Yes, I wish I had over thirty years back. And the comment about finding out who your authentic self is? You are very perceptive! I don't really know who the hell I am because for those thirty years plus, I was someone who studied WT literature to find out what my opinions were on everything.

When I first left, everything was bewildering...I feel like I should go back to disco music and start over...hey I really love disco music...

Just make sure that every step you take moves you forward, not back. Don't dwell on the past, and let the organization take one more minute of your life. Try different things or subjects in school until you find something that interests you.

You can do it!

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12

College education pays

by hoser in

jw
friends

14 years ago

my first post seems to be locked.

this from cnn today.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/opinion/06/09/aoun.college.benefits/index.html?hpt=hp_c2.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

Welcome, won't let me fade!

Congratulations on having a son in college. My daughter is graduating this December with a degree in Biology.

Our kids will have a future that has more options and more fulfillment.

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12

College education pays

by hoser in

jw
friends

14 years ago

my first post seems to be locked.

this from cnn today.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/opinion/06/09/aoun.college.benefits/index.html?hpt=hp_c2.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

Knowledge is power, and freeing.

Having a degree gives one more choices in the job market, whereas having only a High School diploma means just about an assurance of a low paying, dead-end job.

Plus, just "knowing stuff" about the world around us makes us more well-rounded and informed. Not to mention more interesting to talk to!

Not everyone is cut out to wash windows or do janitorial work. Why not encourage young ones who are very intelligent and capable? Why lump all people into the same mold....college is bad....you don't need it....

Oh, yes, because in college a person learns how to do research....something the WTS wants to discourage at all cost!

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16

GB becoming more angry!

by truthseeker1969 in

jw
friends

14 years ago

flipping through the wt and other artices it strikes me how angry the governing body is becoming and how they are using insulting words to describe anyone who "rocks the boat".. words such as diseased and vindictive are common place now and so petty.. it seems to me that these men may be allowing personal feelings to overcome their spiritual role that they are supposed to live by.. i have been out of the truth for 17 years and it is clear to me that they have lost the plot.. look at the generation flip flop.

why not just say, "brothers, we have no clue and therfore no clue about anything that has been taught".

assuming the role of jesus on earth is something no one should do as one look at corinthians clearly states that "gifts of prophesying would be done away with" in other words god said i will tell you not you me.. anyone else feel that the gb is angry?.

14 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

They are angry because they feel their controlling grip loosening, and some of the "flock" is slipping away.

Just as in the Wizard of Oz movie, the on-screen wizard began really blustering when Dorothy's little dog Toto pulled the curtain back to reveal a man at the controls.

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52

Child Molesters Phillip & Nancy Garrido's JW Connections & Comments......

by flipper in

14 years ago

on article in link to njn network & san fransisco chronicle article .

i will post comments regarding the article from jw's and non-jw's in the next post after this initial thread.

here is the link : http://njnnetwork.com/2009/09/sex-offender-philip-garrido-used-jehovahs-witness-to-get-early-parole/ .

11 years ago

Quandry 14 years ago

At least Harry is honest.

If all JWs cut to the chase and told people that if they don't become Witnesses they will be destroyed, the birds will pick their eyes out, and their homes will be occupied by those at the door speaking, they'd at least know the true face of the Watchtower!

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