Posts by detective

Could you ask your son why only jw children deserve to be protected from a sexual predator? If they know they've got a molester on their hands and they kick him out without notifying the police, where does he go for victims? Why do only JW children matter? UGH! That is really infuriating!

Good luck with this, Pat. It must be hard hearing this kind of stuff.

19

How do you explain it to your spouse?

by buffy in

jw
friends

i've been w/ my husband for 2 years, married for 3 months.

he knows what i went through going throught the df process.

he saw the horrible time i had dealing w/ loosing my family.

detective

Well, as one who will never truly understand I have to step up for others who have been absolutely baffled by the experience of having a loved one "in". As much as I know that I can never fully grasp the situation as I haven't been in those shoes, I also know that it was my need for understanding that brought me to sites like this a long time ago.

Just as I will never know the sights or smells, the feelings and the loss, my friend will never know what it was like to stand on the brink of something so odd and be left dangling, wondering what the heck any of it means. My friend will probably never know how I felt when I first read those derisive remarks about people like me- worldly types! (You mean, when they were acting all nice to me- at the very same time they were allowing people to say such horrible things about me??) But it isn't just up to me to understand his experiences. He's got to try to understand mine as well. Not just the ones I had in dealing with his religion. But the the experiences I've had completely independent of him or his religion.
Goodness knows- there are lots of people on this board who took completely different things away from their experience. In reality, they won't fully understand you either. Nobody really does. So, you look for people you can relate to and hope shared experiences might help you heal.
I'll never really understand anymore than my friend will understand what it was like in my shoes. Nor will he ever understand many of my life-shaping experiences. Then what? We stand at an impass because we'll never really "get it" from each others perspectives?

I would NEVER belittle what a tremendous life-altering experience this has been for anyone here. The best I can do is try to get as best an understanding as I can. At the same time, I would hope that my jw friend would realize that he has never been where I stand either. That isn't the point though, is it? The point is trying to bridge the gap, not widen it by using the "you'll never understand" sentiment as a barrier.
You'll never understand. Explain it to me. You'll never understand. Enlighten me. You'll never understand. You don't understand me either. You'll never understand. Nor will you. You'll never understand. Why bother? You'll never understand. I give up.

At what point do you let yourself and others off the hook? When do you start to accept the fact that true understanding of every thought, experience and action between people is something of myth. Realistically, there will always be differences. It's what you do to find common ground that matters in the end.

p.s. Little Toe, I think you seem like a nice guy but that "ignorance" comment was really unnecessary. Perhaps you didn't really understand her question, or did that thought not cross your mind? Before you call her ignorant, you might want to be sure you understood where she was coming from when she asked you that.

33

TO THE DRAFFENVILLE ELDERS: intent to sue

by dungbeetle in

1) i am a sister in a congregation of jehovah's witnesses in southern california.. i have a job.

i have a life.

i have a family.

detective

I'm sorry for what you went through, Dung. You deserve a heck of alot better!

5

Any X-Files fans "out there"?

by carlitos71 in

jw
friends

i know that this has nothing to do with jws, but since i'm a x-files fan i was wondering if anyone was able to see the last episode.

i was at a grad party and i have no freaking idea how to work the damn vcr.

if anyone got to see this episode please give me a brief summary.. later

detective

We talked about the x-files on a thread here, but as I don't know who started the thread I can't find it!

31

The friends, the truth and loaded language

by detective in

jw
friends

as many people already know, using the term "the truth" to describe an organization's teachings is a brilliant way to constantly reaffirm it's validity subconsciously.

it's a great use of repetition to establish as fact that which is only opinion.. i keep hearing the phrase "the friends".

aside from the fact that i really don't like the terminology, i couldn't help but wonder if this isn't just another use of repetition and loaded language to enforce the belief that all of the people who share the same religion actually are your friends.. in some ways, i think it would be beneficial for some folks to drop "the truth" and "the friends" from their vocabulary so that they aren't continuing to immerse themselves in group-lingo that's intended to elicit certain emotional responses and associations.. what other loaded language can you come up with that is quasi-specific to jehovah's witnesses?

detective

Here's one that I noticed is used quite a bit: "brought out" instead of brought up a point.

Brought out is used outside the group, obviously, but I'd say I hear brought up far more often.

Nothing wrong with it but I definitely found it very noticeable at first.

31

The friends, the truth and loaded language

by detective in

jw
friends

as many people already know, using the term "the truth" to describe an organization's teachings is a brilliant way to constantly reaffirm it's validity subconsciously.

it's a great use of repetition to establish as fact that which is only opinion.. i keep hearing the phrase "the friends".

aside from the fact that i really don't like the terminology, i couldn't help but wonder if this isn't just another use of repetition and loaded language to enforce the belief that all of the people who share the same religion actually are your friends.. in some ways, i think it would be beneficial for some folks to drop "the truth" and "the friends" from their vocabulary so that they aren't continuing to immerse themselves in group-lingo that's intended to elicit certain emotional responses and associations.. what other loaded language can you come up with that is quasi-specific to jehovah's witnesses?

detective

You totally crack me up, dung.

31

The friends, the truth and loaded language

by detective in

jw
friends

as many people already know, using the term "the truth" to describe an organization's teachings is a brilliant way to constantly reaffirm it's validity subconsciously.

it's a great use of repetition to establish as fact that which is only opinion.. i keep hearing the phrase "the friends".

aside from the fact that i really don't like the terminology, i couldn't help but wonder if this isn't just another use of repetition and loaded language to enforce the belief that all of the people who share the same religion actually are your friends.. in some ways, i think it would be beneficial for some folks to drop "the truth" and "the friends" from their vocabulary so that they aren't continuing to immerse themselves in group-lingo that's intended to elicit certain emotional responses and associations.. what other loaded language can you come up with that is quasi-specific to jehovah's witnesses?

detective

As many people already know, using the term "the truth" to describe an organization's teachings is a brilliant way to constantly reaffirm it's validity subconsciously. It's a great use of repetition to establish as fact that which is only opinion.

I keep hearing the phrase "the friends". Aside from the fact that I really don't like the terminology, I couldn't help but wonder if this isn't just another use of repetition and loaded language to enforce the belief that all of the people who share the same religion actually are your friends.

In some ways, I think it would be beneficial for some folks to drop "the truth" and "the friends" from their vocabulary so that they aren't continuing to immerse themselves in group-lingo that's intended to elicit certain emotional responses and associations.

What other loaded language can you come up with that is quasi-specific to Jehovah's Witnesses?

99

Dateline discussed openly in our congregation

by TheMatrix in

jw
friends

yesterday, the presiding overseer (elder h) read the letter from the christian congregation of jehovahs witnesses (us branch) regarding their policy on child abuse.

all scriptures were also looked up and read.. elder h is a very prepared brother.

he is a gilead graduate and served as a missionary for about 7 years in kenya before coming home because of illness.

detective

Hmmm. Wow.

Did he give you a copy of his speech, did you tape it or are you just putting in quotes something inexact to give us the jist of his speech?

28

JW Dating Service :)

by Incense_and_Peppermints in

jw
friends

http://www.jwmatch.com/welcome.php .

"um, i like serving jehovah, and going to the kingdom hall... and um, serving jehovah, and bookstudies, and serving jehovah, and meeting beautiful sisters, and serving jehovah of course.

" [8>]

detective

I mentioned previously that I know one of the people who has posted an ad on that site. I think it's pretty sad that a guy who would probably have a good chance at finding a match in "the world" has to limit himself to those in his high-control group (cult). Instead he has to dodge divorced women who are fifteen years older than him while typing out a dating ad that greatly exagerates his hobbies and his life in general.