Hi 4mylove, your situation hits home with me because I am in a very similar situation myself; my JW hasn't been inactive for as long as yours has, but I understand exactly what you mean about the constant fear that he'll jump back in full-force some day. I think you're very right that he has to make the decision himself, and WANT to know the truth about "the truth," and will only ever get fully out if it comes from his own heart. In my case, my JW doesn't like the harsh and rigid "lifestyle" of being active, but he does pretty much believe in the organization and the things it teaches, and that is terrifying because it feels like a ticking time bomb that could go off at any moment. In my own personal case, I'm of the belief that the only way I'll ultimately succeed in freeing my JW is if he comes to see and understand the tactics behind the WTS -- basically, brainwashing and indoctrination. Discussing doctrine or flip-flops or twisted scriptures has gotten me exactly nowhere, because it's like there's a mental disconnect that kicks in and somehow allows him to ignore, or discount, or be unable to see, the most blatant evidence. But it's my feeling that if we can get to a point where he starts to understand WHY his brain is processing things in that way, that could open the floodgates and lead to a full and permanent exit. A long long LONG road, to be sure.
I know how you feel and how frightening it is to know in your heart that this wicked organization could swallow him back up at any time, with him a willing participant. I don't have any answers for you, but did want to post that you're not alone and there are others who feel your pain. I wish you luck :-)
nameless_one
JoinedPosts by nameless_one
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14
again with the inlaws...assembly around the corner
by 4mylove inphone rings.
i can tell it's my mil by the way he is talking to her.
he says that he has to look at the dates.
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nameless_one
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Evolutions billion dollar question!
by Blackboo inhow did emotions evolved???
*grinning* are emotions, thinking, and morals biological?
please answer this sincere question..i am actually being nice this time.
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nameless_one
Blackboo wrote.....
::How does the SUN know how SET AND RISE?
::etc
::etc
I'm pretty sure now that you are yanking our chain here. At least I hope so, LOL! (Just in case: FYI the earth revolves around the sun, not the other way around.)
If you are just having some fun here, you are an entertaining lad and thanks for the laughs :-) If you're serious, well good luck and Godspeed LOL. -
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Abstain from Blood...
by hotchocolate inmy first post was a few days ago now, and finally my heart has stopped pounding whenever i log on.. :-).
so, i have been in the truth all my life, 3rd generation witness, never left, never been in trouble, pioneered for years, and am a respected member of my congregation.
at the moment.
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nameless_one
Marking for future reference.
Your reasoning is right on target and beautifully expressed, thanks for posting this. -
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Cult Awareness Network
by wanderlustguy inhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cult_awareness_network.
this is one of two things that have held me back from doing some things that i feel more and more compelled to do.
david and goliath..
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nameless_one
This is disgusting! My copy of "Combatting Cult Mind Control" includes a disclaimer saying that CAN had changed hands and Hassan does not endorse the "new CAN" in any way, but I never checked into the reasons and was unaware of the details until now. It's bad enough that they were able to litigate this group into the ground, but to then be allowed to acquire and operate it as a deceptive front for the very thing it was formed to combat in the first place? There is something very stinky about a system that allows such a thing to happen, I feel sick after reading this.
I find this scary as hell, not to mention grotesque and evil. Thank you for the enlightening post. -
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Tax Revolt
by frankiespeakin inmany are vowing not to pay any fed tax until the iraq war ends.. .
codepink taxrevolt:.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-456946919651340148&q=tax+revolt&total=38&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1.
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nameless_one
I won't argue the nobility/morality/tradition of tax resistance, but I will echo the words of journey-on: you could very well find yourself very, very sorry! You're correct that the IRS will often settle for pennies on the dollar, but that is AFTER they have seized all of your existing assets and you have nothing left beyond pennies on the dollar. What you're promoting is noble in principle but ineffective on a small scale, and you are also setting yourself up for a world of personal hurt. They can and will wipe you out, just ask Willie Nelson LOL. Not saying it's fair or right, but it's reality. Please proceed with caution.
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nameless_one
If I may, a perspective from a lurker...
I am not a JW, never have been and never will be. But someone very close to me is. I have spent YEARS working to help this person find the light and escape the lie. It is delicate and slow and terrifying. For a long time I have dreamed of the day when I could safely direct my loved one here, to be welcomed and supported by others who understand in a way that I cannot. This incident is the last in a string of similar incidents that has convinced me Hell No on that idea.
I don't care if Cognac and Hypnotic are for real. I've had some doubts of my own too. But can't people "investigate" and "pursue" their suspicions behind the scenes, at least early on when facts are scarce? Sure, sometimes people who yell TROLL! FAKE! LIAR! right out of the gates are correct. But sometimes they're wrong. What's the cost/benefit analysis on that one?
I'm not sure all the "regulars" here really see the kind of impact this can have on people who are just watching silently, building up the courage to post, or God forbid land here in a state of crisis and confusion and dire straits. Only to be met with pages of suspicion and accusation.
I read this board every day. I have been doing so for years. I have a very keen and personal interest in learning as much as I can about the best way to cushion the fallout of a shattered belief system when the day comes for my loved one. I would no longer feel comfortable or safe directing my JW to this board any time soon.
Sorry if this sounds angry. Welcome to the new ones, whatever your stories or histories might be. -
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My response to an Elder!
by mavie inelder 1,. .
i will be in town on xxxxxx, december xxx.
i'm sure you would agree that my everlasting life is an important enough reason to revisit some of the outstanding questions i posed last year to be addressed.
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nameless_one
Marking for reference, excellent points about scientific quotes out of context.
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Does your worldy significant other hate us?
by wanderlustguy ini have been enduring a barrage of text messages tonight.
they are from an ex, who was telling me that she was thinking about us working out until i told her i was going to the new year's fest in the big d.. she always was paranoid about this place.
are we your "dirty little secret"?.
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nameless_one
I am the "worldly significant other" half of my equation, and I would be THRILLED if my JW would come here, or interact with former and exiting JWs anywhere really. That's not going to happen any time soon, but hopefully one of these days :-)
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List of childhood simple pleasures...
by avishai ini'll start.
rubbing the stubble on the nape of your neck all day the day you get a haircut...
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nameless_one
Catching lightning bugs on summer evenings, in a jar with holes poked in the lid :-)
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Newbies - Give us your stories....
by AK - Jeff inmost of old posters have hashed and re-hashed our backgrounds, history, and method of discovering the 'truth about the truth'.. your turn newbies!.
those who are lurking without the benefit of registration - it only takes a minute, and you too can give us your stories!.
those registered lurkers - what holds you back?
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nameless_one
I have been lurking here for a long time, and this is my first (and probably last) post. I am not a JW, but someone I love is. For several years I have been trying very carefully and delicately to help this person get out. There has been progress but it is very slow.
I have learned so much from the people here and the stories I've read. To those of you who share your stories and your histories here: You help countless "silent" people, maybe more than you know. That's really the only reason I posted in this thread, to say thank you for that :-)