Hi Flipper,
That was GREAT! I'm so happy for you that you are getting some communication in with your daughter!!! That is awesome news!
I hope things keep getting better and better for you!
esw1966
JoinedPosts by esw1966
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42
My JW Daughter Calls Me - First Time in 9 Months - Great Conversation !
by flipper inas many of you know , me and my fading 23 year old son have been trying to reach out to my polite 21 year old jw daughter .
sending cards, letters , phone calls just to let her know we love her, miss her , and remind her of good family times we've had in the past !
not being pushy - just being authentic with her !
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esw1966
We called some foreign film video stores about this movie. They said it has just come out in theatres in Europe. It will probably take about 6 months for it to become available on DVD here in America. The movie is getting very good ratings and is critically acclaimed! It will be interesting to see public opinion on the movie and what it does to jw's reputation in the community.
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How did you build a new life outside of the JWs?
by Sirona in"if you leave jehovah's organisation, where will you go?".
no doubt many of us have been asked that question.
so where did you "go" when you left the jws?
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esw1966
1. How did you build up a new social structure after leaving the JW religion?
I met a woman online who became my wife. She helped me see what I was involved in without being pushy. I met people at work, at church, and now at Tech School. Life is building!
2. Have you made fulfilling friendships and where did you find those friends?
I found a good friend at work. I have people I like at church and at school. I am in a new state and am very busy, so I don't have as close of friends as I would like. I think it would be good to be more active and do things with people. I really have just been re-building my life and so friends havn't hit that hi on the list yet.
3. Do you have a spirituality now and if so, how do you compare it with the JW religion?
I'm born again now. I love it! I go to 2 non-denominational churches a week and love the band! It holds NOTHING to the hall! Even my jw daughters liked it! It is real and sincere. No judgments. It's all about praising God! Nothing feels better than praising a God who is great and loves you and doesn't hold things against you and is in the process of healing you! It's awesome!
4. What is the best advice you can think of to give to someone who has recently left the JWs - in terms of how to rebuild their life?
Leaving the state was a great thing for me. I'm planning on going back next year to live so that I can be there for my daughters. But otherwise, I think it is best to just leave them in the past and get on with my life. Get involved in life. Don't dwell on what happened to you, but what you can do for others. Do the things you enjoy in life! Stay out of trouble. Do things that bring you joy! Create a wonderful life for yourself. Whenever I start to think of how I can help them or how I can defeat them Biblically, I get swallowed in a dark hole. I can prove they are wrong, but it doesn't help or change anything.
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A Movie on JW's shunning family. Based on real life events...
by esw1966 invariety.
new york: feb 18-feb 24, 2008. vol.
410, iss.
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esw1966
Here is so more information I found on the movie.
http://www.nordiskfilm.com/Movies/Current+features/To+Verdener.htm
http://www.sales.nordiskfilm.com/movie.aspx?id=100296 International Sales, but I don't see HOW.
WOW! I watched the trailer. I have no clue of Dutch, but it made me get a little weepy! INTENSE. Pretty wierd to see the kingdom hall in a movie and an elder questioning in an elder room and jw's out in service. It's pretty interesting! They talk about video on demand, otherwise I'm not sure it is available in English or for that matter where it is available. It looks like a big screen movie though. Well done from the trailer!
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A Movie on JW's shunning family. Based on real life events...
by esw1966 invariety.
new york: feb 18-feb 24, 2008. vol.
410, iss.
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esw1966
Abstract (Summary)A teen raised as a Jehovah's Witness falls in love with a non-believer and is forced to choose between b.f. and rigidly observant family who are, figuratively speaking, "Worlds Apart." Based on a true story, this provocative, well-turned drama by Danish helmer Niels Arden Oplev ("We Shall Overcome") raises universally pertinent questions about fundamentalist thinking without portraying Witnesses' beliefs as inherently crazy or evil.
ยป Jump to indexing (document details) Full Text (445 words) Copyright Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier, Inc. Feb 18-Feb 24, 2008
WORLDS APART
(TO VERDENER)
(DENMARK)
A Nordisk Film production. (International sales: Nordisk Film, Valby, Denmark.) Executive producer, Kim Magnusson. Produced by Thomas Heinesen.
Directed by Niels Arden Oplev. Screenplay, Steen Bille, Oplev. Camera (color, Super 16-to-35mm, widescreen), Lars Vestergaard; editor, Anne Osterud; music, Jacob Groth; sound (Dolby Digital SRD), Peter Schultz. Reviewed at Gothenburg Film Festival (Nordic Film Market), Feb. 1, 2008. (Also in Berlin Film Festival - Generation 14plus.) Running time: 108 MIN.
With: Rosalinde Mynster, Pilou Asbaek, Jens Jorn Spottag, Sarah Boberg, Anders W. Berthelsen.
A teen raised as a Jehovah's Witness falls in love with a non-believer and is forced to choose between b.f. and rigidly observant family who are, figuratively speaking, "Worlds Apart." Based on a true story, this provocative, well-turned drama by Danish helmer Niels Arden Oplev ("We Shall Overcome") raises universally pertinent questions about fundamentalist thinking without portraying Witnesses' beliefs as inherently crazy or evil. Intriguing subject matter combined with charismatic perfs by the two young leads might attract niche arthouse play, with further action in ancillary. Material also seems ripe for U.S remake.
Outgoing, attractive Sara Dahl (17-year-old newcomer Rosalinde Mynster, a natural) is devoted to her family and ardent about her faith. She proselytizes door-to-door with fellow congregants, preaching about Judgment Day and eternal salvation for Jehovah's chosen ones.
But all's not well in the Dahl household. Her hotel receptionist father Andreas (Jens Jorn Spottag, a dead ringer for U.S. presidential candidate Mike Huckabee) has committed a carnal sin, splitting the family apart. However, the kids feel it's worse that mother (Sarah Boberg) won't forgive him since he has sincerely repented.
When Sara meets Teis (Pilou Asbaek, strong) at a club, a powerful attraction blooms. But almost immediately, their relationship challenges the foundations of her worldview.
Although minister John (Anders W. Berthelsen, intense) reminds Sara of Witness dogma, heart and hormones prove stronger. One of pic's most wrenching scenes depicts despondent Sara asked by John and church elders for explicit details of her sexual activity.
According to Arden Oplev, the script, co-written with Steen Bille, condenses events that actually occurred over several years in real life into just a few months in the film. The loneliness and isolation of those expelled from the Witnesses comes through loud and clear without any sensationalizing, as does the comfort of having something clear to believe in.
With the exception of the always good Berthelsen, adult thesps aren't as convincing as the younger actors. Non-showy widescreen lensing by Lars Vestergaard supports the intimacy of the perfs with crisp close-ups. Rest of tech package is pro.
[Sidebar] Rosalinde Mynster is a Jehovah's Witness who falls in love with an outsider in "Worlds Apart." -
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Memorial Blues....
by Patrynz inok...so this is my first time posting here...long time lurker first time poster...a bit bout my situation...i havent been to a meeting in a long time...the last was my meeting to announce my disfellowshipping...i have recently gotten an invitation to the memorial...*gasp* well it is about that time of year again...i had been fortunate enuff to be vacant when it came to previous memorials and meetings in general, but due to a sudden unforseen familial situation i was located (found) and invited to the memorial....i have accepted the invitation and my significant other (who has no jw past) will be coming with me...she knows that this part of my life was brutal and that i have tried to leave it behind me as much as is humanly possible...she is a big reason i have been able to move past a lot of my "issues" with religion, family etc etc blah blah blah...i have gotten past a lot of those issues.... my question i think is...am i making a mistake in going?
i have no belief in their drivel and no desire to go back to that "dogs vomit" but due to my semi-newfound appreciation for life and life after jw'ness i am trying to patch stuff up with my jw family...least as much as i can...if such a thing is even possible...my jw family is actually treating me with some degree of human kindness and i feel as though i should at least try to rebuild some semblance of "family" i dunno....but i am going to the memorial....i must be nucking futz...anyhow...thoughts?
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esw1966
Most of me would say that it is a mistake. You aren't of that opinion any more so it isn't doing you any good. It could make the family think there is hope, which when they find out there is none they could drop you again like a hot potato.
If doing a give and take and that helps things out and they understand your viewpoint, then I see no harm in it. I've been back and it always makes me SO glad that I am gone! Granted I used to love it at one time, but seeing it for what it is makes me so sad for them!
Don't lift their hopes under false pretenses. Don't set up false expectations. State things how they are. You will go and be respectful out of respect for them. You will listen and be kind. But that's all.
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I went to church for the FIRST time...
by zeroday ini was out in california visiting the folks when my father and his wife invited me to their church for sunday services...well being out of the borg for 4 years and a devote atheist i said "why not"... they go to a nondenominational foursquare church...i first asked if this was snake night to my suprise no... so off i went...the service started with a christian rock band playing christian rock for about half an hour (not bad actually) everyone either standing or kneeling with outstreached hands the whole time...then the pastor got up and began his sermon titled:.
"the right way to die" ok i'm getting a little weirded out here and expect a punch bowl of koolaid to appear at anytime now... not so it was about getting right with god at the time of our death to meet the lord in heaven...all in all a very nice service and very nice people but i did not get the "tap on the shoulder" i was expecting i guess it's for the believing only....
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esw1966
I'm glad you had a great time! I go a non-denominational church up here in Bellingham. I LOVE it! They play the Christian rock music too! You come in late and you hear the drums pounding.
Regardless if you felt the tap or not, it was a good experience and it sounds like you had a good time with good people! Sounds like a good trip!
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Shunned at the hall for not sticking to the program
by truthseeker inour congregation likes bums on seats.. one sister recently said, "if you're not able to be regular for whatever reason, they treat you like you have leprosy.".
this is true in my case - i am an active fader - i haven't been out on service since last summer, i don't attend book studies but.
i am married and have to support my wife lest she get these pity looks from the friends.. elders and their wives ignore me - some even talk to my wife while i'm next to her but ignore me.. it's weird - i think maybe some resent my freedom from the program - the freedom to just turn up or leave half way through the talk.. i don't really deal with it - i don't know what to say.. .
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esw1966
I'm not the greatest at this, but I am working on it.
In the end, it keeps coming back to showing love. The Bible says it heaps fiery coals upon their head. A mild word turns away rage. A word at the right time, oh, how sweet.
jw's are not loving people. They are angry and selfish. If you are able to overcome their rudeness and overlook their actions and shower them with love or kind words or actions, you will win in the end. You can never go wrong doing good. Then, they will be the ones to take the low road if you play the high road. I have found this to be true every time. Sooner or later, their actions and your conduct have to make them think. Besides it leaves you with a good conscience and in the end it is the only effective thing to do - be charitable.
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went to big "family apostafest" last night....what a blast!
by oompa inearly on in my adventures here at jwd i went to a posted apostafest in my area.
only 7 or 8 were there, but it was nice to meet others and hears some stories first hand.
last night though i was privileged to attend a family bash at a nice big house with at least 20 awesome people there, and all but one were former dubs (one husband just married in, but was never a dub).
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esw1966
Very cool! Sounds like an awesome time!
They said they just kept on loving the dubs still in, and by moving on and having a good life, it seemed to draw other family members out. They all felt that trying to explain, push, debate, argue the REAL TRUTH, you will push others away (like I did before I finally shut up).
I really liked that bit of encourgment. I needed to hear that. It has been something I have been trying to get through to myself, but at times it feels like silence will just allow them to get in deeper. So, it's hard for me to keep quiet, but I realize it really does no good.
Thanks!