I realize now that's what guided me in my time in the congregations. I was being groomed by the P.O. All the other kids weren't interested in moving up, or weren't meeting the minimum requirements for promotion. Because I couldn't fit in with them, I conformed to reaching out and handling assignments for MS status. Even my education conformed to the Watchtower accepted career of auto mechanic (which isn't a bad career, just not a passion of mine to become a car mechanic).
Now I'm trying to fix the way things are...but my main motivation was staying in the good graces of those in power. What a mistake that was!