LisaRose

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Posts by LisaRose

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  35

  Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.

  by BU2B in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.

  i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.

  if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.

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  LisaRose

  My mother was the same way. I was never a good enough JW to suit her, it actually was a bit of relief that she shunned me towards the end of her life. I believe she loved me in her own way, but she was too brainwashed to ever really accept me as I was and that was her loss. It was sad, but her choice. Sometimes peace comes with accepting that things are what they are. I looked at it the same as if she was mentally ill and so not quite responsible for what she said, which I think is true to a certain extent.
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  5

  Socially awkward

  by tamagotchi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  growing up a jw has made me some what socially awkward.

  i would often push people away due to my weird traits.

  this was made worse by surrounding myself with certain people within the congregation who didn't have my best interest at heart, who now i know where trying to bring me down, this has invoked in me trust issues with people i meet.

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  LisaRose

  Yes, I think many of us have these issues. I think it's partially due to that fact that being in a high control religion makes social interactions very different. You are in a group that all believes the same things and conforms to the same schedule of meetings and field service. It means it's quite easy to have many acquaintes, but sometimes harder to find real friends. It also means you cannot be your true and honest self if that self deviates in any way from the expected.

  Of course we are all unique individuals, but it can mean we don't quite know how to interact with those outside the organization, especially when we first leave. This is compounded if you have a more introverted nature.

  The solution is to just get on with it, the more you do it the easier it gets. Social awkwardness usually stems from being very self aware and being afraid that others will judge you. The more you worry, the more you are likely to do something wrong, which just makes things worse. Somebody once said that you shouldn't really care what people think about you, because they aren't really thinking about you that much. Most people just think about themselves mostly. The huge social blunder that seems so huge to you is probably just a minor blip to everyone else, by the next day they won't remember it.

  It does get easier as you get older and are exposed to more social situations and different people. People do like to talk about themselves, so asking questions (nothing to personal though) is always a good strategy and takes the focus off of you. When all else fails, talk about the weather.
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  25

  Cheers to all! I'm in the house now! Finally signed up.

  by Lifeisfun in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi readers and lurkers, .

  i decided it was time to register to the site.

  after all these years, it was just a matter of time.

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  LisaRose

  Welcome. You should probably start developing friends and interests outside of the organization, if you haven't done so already. You have not been officially diafellowshipped, but that could change at any time. Even when you know tatt it can be hard to be shunned. Your thinking is probably still influenced by the Watchtower to a certain extent, it takes years to undo the effects of being in a cult. don't be surprised if you have conflicting emotions at times, it will pass.

  You have a great life ahead of you, free of the manipulations and deceptions, enjoy!
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  10

  I received my acceptance letter into Nursing School.

  by adjusted knowledge in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been actively pursuing a career change for quite a few years.

  i've applied for nursing programs at several local public colleges.

  the competition is high for this limited access program.

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  LisaRose

  Well done! My husband and I attended a pinning ceremony last year for a friend of ours, we were very impressed with what the candidates went through to complete the program, there is a reason you must compete to get in. Its also a rewarding career with good job security with us baby boomers getting old right now.
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  30

  Just Want To Be Heard

  by dubstepped in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been lurking here for a while now, and i guess you could call me a fader.

  i don't have hate in my heart for the organization that i spent most of my life in, but i have had an awakening.

  luckily, so has my wife, and that way i don't feel so alone.

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  LisaRose

  Welcome, glad you have found freedom from this religion and are testing your wings. It's a process, don't feel you have to rush it or make decisions about anything at this point, it does takes time. You will probably have a few ups and downs and conflicting emotions about things, it's a huge change, but things will get better.

  If you still believe in God that's OK too, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You may change your mind eventually, but that is your spiritual path to follow. Don't feel you have to have all the answers right now, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and hang in there.
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  18

  A coming out story to my mother.

  by JennyBoo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so i actually came out to my mother a few days ago.

  told her how i really felt about being a jw (jehovah's witness) and how i wasn't straight.

  i wasn't surprised by the disapproving response i got because really, i wasn't expecting any more.

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  LisaRose

  Good for you for standing up for yourself. Obviously a believing JW is never going to be happy that their child is gay, so I guess the best you can do is to agree to disagree about it. It's sad, because it probably means that you will not be as close, so she will miss out on sharing important moments with you, but that's on her.
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  59

  How to wake up and reverse the trance???

  by J-DUBBED in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  how do you wake up someone taken from us by these screwed up people?.

  our son was hooked by a jw at the age of 25. within 3 months they were married and we never even new about it.

  he is now 29 and has nothing to do with his family(except his sister the odd time, when he needs something) of any freinds.. we are lost and have been for four years.. .

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  LisaRose

  Well, I think DOC has a point, although he might have stated it more tactfully. If you want to have a chance of enlightening your son you will not accomplish it by alienating his wife, that will just cause to then to refuse to talk to you. You also will not win by attacking his chosen religion. Part of the cult mind control is a warning that Satan will use their non JW family to test them. When that inevitably happens, it just confirms to them that the JWs are right.

  The only chance you have is to feign interest, then raise questions that they cannot easily answer, or that causes them to think. The religion uses third grade logic and questionable reasoning, it doesn't hold up under scrutiny. You must educate yourself about how mind control works. You could say a friend told you the Watchtower has predicted the end several times, for example. He has probably not been told this. Of course, they have an answer for everything, but you might be able to plant a seed of doubt.

  
  
  
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  19

  "in" Family driving me crazy on social media

  by freemindfade in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  does any other fader who maintains a minimal connection to preserve family ties have this issue:.

  i post something on ig, facebook whatever.

  and from my super zealous family i get preachy posts.

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  LisaRose

  You can control who sees individual  posts. I have one list that includes everyone and one that is everyone but JW relatives. if it's anything they might object to, like holidays, then I exclude them.
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  20

  Well folks it looks like September 23, 2017 will be the new date of Armageddon, the Rapture or whatever.

  by donny in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  well folks you had better get your act together because there is only about 2.5 years before you are held responsible for your way of life.

  according to "rapture watch", things are really going to start happening in 2017.. i am already asking the lord for leniency.

  http://www.rapturewatch.net/timelines.htm .

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  LisaRose

  There is always money to be made fear mongering. No matter how absurd the speculation, there are always a few who get stuck at "what if they are right?".

  Like me for, example. 

  
  
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  50

  My mother says I should just DA already.

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  cut the cord.

  sever all ties.

  start new.. and she's right.

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  LisaRose

  I don't know if it would help you to DA, but I doubt it will hurt you, so why not do it? I never did, as I felt I didn't have to play by their silly rules, but my situation was different, I had moved out of state and wouldn't see any JWs I knew anyway. 

  I think you should get counseling,. It doesn't have to be someone who does cult counseling, any competent therapist should be able to help you. Obviously slogging through this on your own isn't working, time to get some help to move forward in your life.