Have you read the book "simple abundance", by Sarah Ban Breathnatch? I recommend you get a copy if you have not. I see it at Thrift stores all the time.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
-
20
ladies , its not just me, is it?..
by sowhatnow inok ladies, has there been any documented studies on the role religion or society plays in keeping women in an economical and social disadvantaged state ?
im wondering how many other women out there in the world, who either being raised or being long term followers of a strict religious faith,with traditional family structures, have upon either divorce or death of a spouse find it nearly impossible to find a mate or economic stability , and live out the remainder of their lives struggling and either bouncing from one guy to another, being disappointed or used, or simply alone.
i have personally felt, that i, being a xjw and now divorced woman , with no acceptable work skills,[ ie: fancy resume with degrees] living of low wage part time work and barely any alimony , will simply be viewed as someone trying to get another man to support her.
-
-
-
20
ladies , its not just me, is it?..
by sowhatnow inok ladies, has there been any documented studies on the role religion or society plays in keeping women in an economical and social disadvantaged state ?
im wondering how many other women out there in the world, who either being raised or being long term followers of a strict religious faith,with traditional family structures, have upon either divorce or death of a spouse find it nearly impossible to find a mate or economic stability , and live out the remainder of their lives struggling and either bouncing from one guy to another, being disappointed or used, or simply alone.
i have personally felt, that i, being a xjw and now divorced woman , with no acceptable work skills,[ ie: fancy resume with degrees] living of low wage part time work and barely any alimony , will simply be viewed as someone trying to get another man to support her.
-
-
LisaRose
i have nothing special to offer, thats the point, what do men think a women has to offer?
This is your problem, you obviously have very low self esteem. It's understandable after a divorce and leaving a cult, but you do have something to offer. I don't know you, but just based on your posts here I can see you as intelligent, can communicate well and are a nice person. You managed to break free of an abusive cult, that took courage and smarts. That's not nothing, and I am sure you have other things to offer as well. But until you believe you are worth something no one else will either. Stop looking at what you don't have and start thinking about yourself in a different way.
If not money then what?? i can do domestic things, its all i know how to do! cook clean, sew, garden, what else is there? what do i want from a man? he can provide for the family, and in return he gets a clean house well cared for offspring, and sex. lol. what else is there?
Don't knock cooking and cleaning, sewing and gardening, there are probably lots of men who would be happy with just that, lots of women can't do those things. And if you have love in your heart to give to the right guy, that could be life changing for that man, do you think that's nothing to offer? But you also want someone who loves you for being you, and the other stuff is just a bonus. It's hard, but not impossible, but you won't get it if you won't look for it and you won't get it if you think you don't deserve it.
I get it, my first marriage was lousy too and I also have self esteem issues from being in a guilt inducing cult, but it's time to stop that thinking. Negative thoughts about yourself are like weeds in a garden, if you don't get rid of them they take over and crowd out the good thoughts. Nurture yourself like you nurture your plants. There is a saying that sometimes you have to fake it until you make it, so pretend you have confidence and eventually you will.
What else is there? what should i have to offer? i can work part time, thats not a problem, so what is it? ok guys, what do you want??
Other than sex, in my experience guys just want someone to listen to them. If you meet a nice man who interests you, make eye contact, smile and be interested in what they have to say. You would be surprised and how far those two simple things will get you.
If you can't find a class you like have youthought about doing volunteer work? Great for the self esteem and you meet some interesting people.
-
20
ladies , its not just me, is it?..
by sowhatnow inok ladies, has there been any documented studies on the role religion or society plays in keeping women in an economical and social disadvantaged state ?
im wondering how many other women out there in the world, who either being raised or being long term followers of a strict religious faith,with traditional family structures, have upon either divorce or death of a spouse find it nearly impossible to find a mate or economic stability , and live out the remainder of their lives struggling and either bouncing from one guy to another, being disappointed or used, or simply alone.
i have personally felt, that i, being a xjw and now divorced woman , with no acceptable work skills,[ ie: fancy resume with degrees] living of low wage part time work and barely any alimony , will simply be viewed as someone trying to get another man to support her.
-
-
LisaRose
I don't think you are far wrong, I have heard many men here express similar things, women are just looking for a meal ticket, just lazy, gold diggers, etc., but I think you just need to keep looking, you can't judge all men because of two clunkers. There are probably lots of men who would be happy to find a nice woman, even if she didn't make a lot of money. A lot of men don't even want a career driven woman.
You also might want to think bout what you might bring to a relationship other than money. You can't change the past and where you are right now financially, but what are your strengths? What are you passionate about? What are you bringing to a potential relationship? Are there interests you have that you did not explore because of being a JW? Can you take a class, or join an interest group? That's a great way to meet like minded people.
Are you self conscious of your current financial situation? Do you think men are judging you because you don't make a lot of money? If so it could be that what is turning them off is not your lack of money, it's your lack of confidence. How can you expect someone else to value you if you don't value yourself? You are more than your income, and a person who is self confident and happy is much more attractive to others. Everyone has gifts they can bring to the world, so figure out what yours are and even if you don't meet anyone you will be a lot happier and more self cconfident.
-
56
JW's came to my door 6 weeks ago. I told them I was inactive.......
by Alchemist in6 weeks ago some jws came to my door.
i've been inactive for 8 years.
after they gave their presentation i told them i was inactive.
-
-
LisaRose
That has not been my experience at all, I have met a lot of really great people since leaving. I did have some nice JW friends, but I also knew a few not so great JWs.
I would suggest you research the JWs a bit before you go back, there are a lot of things I was told by the Watchtower that were exaggerations and outright lines. It was quite a shock to me that in thirty years of being a JW I knew so little about them.
I was told the Watchtower predicted the last days would start in 1914, which is not true, they predicteded that Christ would return and the world would end, it was only when that didn't happen that they made up the bit about the "invisible return".
I also learned that that prediction was based on chronology taken from another religion and based on an incorrect date for the fall of Jerusalem. Now that it's obvious that their prediction that the generation alive in 1914 would not die before Armageddon was a failure, they have changed the meaning of "a generation" to mean a whole second group of people who knew the original group of people that were alive in 1914 would not die before Armageddon, this making up a meaning for the term "a generation" that is completely made up.
They have been secretly paying off victims of child sex abuse and demanding that the victims sign a nondisclosure agreement. They pretend they have very little child abuse in the congregations while maintaining a list of over 50k names of those accused. Pedophiles have been appointed elders even though they have been accused or confessed to abusing children. They recently settled a multi million dollar case, with more in the works.
In short, the Watchtower is not what it claims to be. If you are seeking good association, there are a lot better religions out there, not all "worldly people" are immoral or bad. You owe it to yourself to check things out, the truth is out there, but it's not in the Watchtower.
-
11
OMG They are right here in River City!
by myway2007 injacksonville, fl - the local newspaper had an article on the convention going on for the next two weekends.
while i could not find the article, i was able to find this slide show of this weekend's events.
the newspaper article was interesting as it discussed what a wonderful job they were doing cleaning the arena seats and bathrooms and everyone was enjoying their job.
-
-
-
56
JW's came to my door 6 weeks ago. I told them I was inactive.......
by Alchemist in6 weeks ago some jws came to my door.
i've been inactive for 8 years.
after they gave their presentation i told them i was inactive.
-
-
LisaRose
I have been out longer than you, but from what I have read there is a great deal of apathy on the part of JWs these days. People do the bare minimum of door to door work and no one has time or the will to devote to others in the congregation, much less getting back lost sheep. The focus is on the Website and literature carts where JWs stand around chit chatting while people walk by.
If you don't mind my asking, why do you want to return?
-
51
Just found out my older brother has passed away
by stuckinarut2 ini have just found out that my brother (who was one of a bunch that shared this login) has died.. he and his wife were living in another country where they once pioneered.
i didn't see him that often.. such an empty feeling.....
-
-
LisaRose
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother last year, it's a very hard thing. -
67
How do you feel about exJW's who resist our efforts to effect change?
by nicolaou ini've met a few.
i'm not talking about the jw who, whether df'd or not, falls off the radar and just gets on with living a normal life - good luck to them and may there be many more!.
i mean the former jehovah's witness who is now enjoying all the benefits of a cult free life thanks to the efforts of many bloggers, posters and activists, but is critical of the efforts of someone close them to free more jws.
-
-
LisaRose
I think some people who leave are still under cult mind control to a certain extent and feel uncomfortable with criticising the Watchtower. I was that way at first, I was happy to be out but I thought the Watchtower was just misguided. It took eight years before I ventured on line and found JWN and realized how much I had been manipulated by the Watchtower.
-
68
Please vaccinate your children
by Viviane inand remember your boosters as adults!.
currently there is a measles outbreak in the u.s. the outbreak is clustered into communities where parents choose not to get their children vaccinated.
vaccination works primarily on herd immunity.
-
-
LisaRose
The problem is that some children have compromised immune systems and cannot get vaccinated. Children whose parents choose not to vaccinate are a danger to them, as they can pass the these diseases on, If there are unvaccinated children in school they cannot attend and are forced to home school.
I am glad Caifornia now requires vaccinations for children to be enrolled in school. Parents who choose to not vaccinate their children are free to do so, but they will have to take responsibility for that choice and home school.
The problem with natural selection in this case is that the child is innocent in this and didn't ask to have an idiot for a parent, and they also might not die, but become disabled and a burden on society. It's no different than JW parents who refuse blood transfusions, sometimes you have to protect children from their parents.
-
-
-
LisaRose
They have them here at the BART stations (San Francisco bay area rapid transit). My never a JW hubbie is always tempted to ask them an inconvenient question, lol. He says no one ever approaches or takes literature.
