Posts by doubtingsister

25

it just got more interesting.

by Texasbred in

jw
friends

the woman i am dating has a 4 year old child.

he's a cute kid, and we get along very well.. the father was once a jw and he went to the same kingdom hall as my girlfriend.

but now he's out and celebrates holidays, birthdays, etc.

Everything everyone has said is true. I'm considered a "weak" or inactive witness and am trying to fade out without causing an uproar or hurting people I love.
I am married to a man who was never a JW (we met when I was a rebellious teenager and had took a long reprieve from the organization) and I've gone through a lot of emotional roller coasters with him, problems dealing with what AlanF brought out, thinking he was going to die at Armageddon and stuff like that.
Even though I did holidays with him and his family and had fun going to concerts, hitting the bars (we love to dance) and even getting high from to time, I still felt I was being disloyal to God and wanted to return to the Kingdom Hall after our first child was born. I gave up everythying, holidays, going out to the clubs, no R rated movies, etc. It took a lot away from him and eventually he just gave in and didn't do the holidays anymore either.
He's been there when I had so many bouts of depression and craziness (suicidal tendencies and erratic behavior). He could have left and said "to hell with her", but thankfully he didn't. We're lucky, I've realized the truth about the "truth" and still have a lot of good times ahead of us. My kids are celebrating their birthdays this year and I'm bound and determined to make the most of it. If you can get your girlfriend to read something like Crisis of Conscience or Apocalypse Delayed (read it yourself and find a real good paragraph to share) you might have some luck helping her to snap out of it. But don't pressure her or she might back off.
My husband was very cool and laid back about it and I think that helped me since I felt no matter what I was thinking I could tell him and he wouldn't judge me or get mad at me for changing my mind.

Good luck,

Anne

16

Obituary Pioneers

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

things have gotten desperate in the us for the borg.

they lowered the hours required by the pioneers to 70 and there was this little surge in the number of pioneers and yet there was a negative "increase" in this country.

so...desperate times call for desperate measures.

doubtingsister

It's true, I'm still attending and it was within the last couple years that this "new light" came out. Just another thing to add to my list....

67

Eminem and censorship

by Uni girl in

jw
friends

when my son came home from the meeting, he told me that they were told not to listen to eminem because (in his words) he's bad.. i can not stomach the kind of censorship that is put upon people...aren't these things a personal choice or at least a parents choice.

by censoring everything they make a child go behind their parents back and close the line of communcation which could result in some real harm.

i listened to eminem with my son and whilst some of the things are very offensive it was quite clear to me that although he was talking in the first person, he was actually expressing what he thought societal problems were,(no one think bob marley actually son the sheriff do they??).

doubtingsister

Ok, I haven't heard his music, but here's my two cents.

Some people like to create hurtful, evil things, even songs. They should be pitied. All the money in the world can't change how he must think and feel to write stuff like that. With so many kinds of music to listen to, why that? But, whatever, I don't care what others choose to do and I do feel thankful to live in a society where we have that freedom of choice.
As for me, I draw the line at lyrics that promote pain, suffering or hatred of others. Period.

9

Paragraph 23 question b

by joelbear in

jw
friends

how many of you ever counted the number of each letter in a watchtower article to see which letter was used most?.

hugs.

joel the eccentric statistician.

doubtingsister

Hi Joel,

When I was younger, I used to take long words and see how many smaller words I could make out of the letters. I'd also doodle all over the bare spaces in the magazines and daydream about what I'd do when the meeting was over.
The notepads I'd bring to take down scriptures were full of my writing. I'd try to hide it in my bookbag so no one could tell I was writing instead of listening.
It actually depended on the speaker or the topic. Sometimes I'd get really involved in the lesson and want to answer and learn, but a lot of times it was too deep for a young person. (for me anyhow)

93

What did you do?

by StiLLinTruth in

jw
friends

to all those who have in some way left the organization (be it disfellowshipping, disassociating, dis-whatever):.

come now, i know the amount of people who "realized that wt doctrine was in serious error" and politely handed in their letter of resignation has to be very small.

the level of bitterness and hostility towards the closest-to-what's-biblical organization has to develop some other way.. what did you do?

doubtingsister

Well,

I'm still in, but I'm not going to stay in much longer. I haven't done anything wrong except get stressed out from trying to raise a family, work a job and live with a "worldly" husband. I feel very strongly about my love for Jehovah and his son, Jesus. That's my reason for leaving.
Jesus said his load was light and I haven't felt that way about all the requirements to be a witness. It's making me feel negative about myself and that I'll never live up to it all. I'm burnt out and I'm tired of having to look at everything I might want to do or do with my kids as possibly being "worldly or BAD".
I felt sick in my heart when my daughter at age 5 asked if her loving Grandma was going to die at Armageddon just because she wasn't a witness. How do you teach kids things like that and still believe that God is Love? Do you know how many Witnesses there are that are unloving, rude and hypocritical? Many.
Just because they have membership in the society doesn't mean they are better than others who happen to love God and Jesus based on Bible reading alone.
It's just such an unhappy life and I'm tired of it. I'm embarrassed of it and I'm just too much of an independent thinking type to ever fit in that mold. I used to get mad at people who called it a cult. Boy, was I ever wrong. Now that I've started reading my Bible and dumping my old WT's in the recycling bin, I'm feeling freer and more excited about everyday living than I ever did in my many years as a witness. I can feel good about myself and know that as long as I live according to Bible principals in a willing manner, that God will love me.

No more meetings telling me how I should be "out in service more, more, more" and I should be studying all the latest publications in my free time (what's that?).

By the way, if you think that all witnesses don't get drunk, sleep around, gamble or lie then you're in for a rude awakening someday soon.

26

Why are there more sisters than brothers?

by expatbrit in

jw
friends

it is generally acknowledged, and confirmed by experience, that there is a significant gender imbalance in the organisation.. there are considerably more sisters than there are brothers.

that's great for the brothers, because a lot of the poor jw lasses get so desperate that even the most dorky of brothers can take his pick.. but why is there this imbalance?.

it's true that birth rates show slightly more females being born than males (mother nature's way of safeguarding the future?

doubtingsister

That's my story, Blue. I was at home with two kids and even though I was always learning new things, I was bored. I would bombard my husband when he got home with questions and stories of my day just to have someone to talk to. I was easy pickings for the witness woman who came to my door. I had exposure as a child, but my parents dropped out due to drinking/emotional problems. So, anyway, I was convinced that it was the truth without a lot of arm bending.

Now, I've fulfilled some of my goals to be a published writer and to own my own business. The self confidence caused me to start wondering and doubting some of th e BS I've been hearing and worrying about. So, I believe your message is right on the money.

5

What about those who commit suicide???

by nogs in

the wts say that those who commit suicide commit a grave act toward god and will be everlastingly cut-off.

where does that idea come from and where is the compassion of ones when the person just could not go on living anymore????.

i felt like ending it alot of times, the jws made me feel ugly, stupid and unworthy individual, i lost all my confidence and never felt that anyone would want to marry me as i was so flawed.

doubtingsister

Naomi,

I truly believe that if God can read hearts than he would forgive someone for something so tragic and understand that a person who would commit it would obviously be in a deep depression.
Pray to him and don't let anyone make you feel unworthy. God loves us and sees all the good inside, even when we can't. I believe God is love and that's why I can't go to the meetings anymore. It just doesn't make me feel good anymore. Lack of real love.

Of course, reading and learning from all the ex-jw sites on the net has helped me to realize I'm not alone and that the Witness organization has this negative effect on many. I'm just really, really tired of being made to feel bad my whole life. But, I'm not ready to dye my hair! :-)
I might buy those leather pants I saw at mall last week though. lol

Children are a blessing and in this case a lifesaver. I don't know what I'd do without mine. They constantly remind us of how to enjoy life's little moments. I'm glad you were able to leave and make a new life for yourself. Your daughter was spared much pain and if you only knew how many others would have been hurt and guilt ridden you'd never even think about it ever again.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Anne

8

There is NO religion that could make me......

by LDH in

jw
friends

i spoke with my sister last night back in ny about this whole jw thing.

(she is da'd).

we were discussing my pregnancy and the fact that my mom hasn't even bothered to say anything except for the fact that since i'm 'inactive with doubts' the baby would die at armegeddon anyway.

doubtingsister

I could never and would never turn my back on my children. I'd probably just talk to Jehovah about it and do what I felt was best and ignore the counsel from the elders. But, doesn't matter anymore, I'm outta there!

35

Feeling desperate................

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

please listen.

im not the first to go through this, i wont be the last.. i was raised in the truth as a result of my mum starting a study when i was 4 years old.

that was in 1968. the hysteria of a 1975/armageddon was just beginning to take root and the sister who studied with my mum was 100% sure of it.

doubtingsister

Nic,

I'm really afraid too, but it's only a matter of time. I can barely keep from pointing out inaccuracies at the meetings or just walking out in disgust, but I endure to help ease my daughter out due to her friends and reliance on them. I've told her we'll decorate eggs this year for fun and she's totally excited about it. Your kids will thank you someday for getting them away from this lifestyle.
Please let your wife know how you're feeling. Showing sincerty and anguish over this to her might mean a lot towards convincing her. Let her know you love God and you love her, and that's why it is hurting you so bad to hide what you know and feel.
It would mean a lot to me if my husband and I were in the same situation. I'm fortunate that he was never a Witness, but then, sometimes I wonder if he thinks I'm crazy for some of the things I say or have done.

Do fun things together with your wife and sign up for dance lessons or something that will help the two of you meet new friends in a wholesome setting. Indulge her with LIFE and if you have to, make her a deal. Tell her you'll attend some meetings if she goes on dates with you and then appeal to her fun side and get her involved in things that you know SHE'LL enjoy a lot and will even consider missing a few meetings for. Maybe some of the things she never has time for, but always wants to do.

Sorry if the advice is lame or frivolous sounding, I'm not really able to understand all you're going through, but I feel for your situation and hope that you can come through it with few bruises.

23

My story!!!

by VeniceIT in

jw
friends

well i haven't really posted my story here, for one reason it was too painful to write out.

well, i finally did go and write it up.

it's pretty long so i'll just link it.. http://www.geocities.com/veniceexjw/mystory.html.

doubtingsister

I enjoyed your story, thanks for sharing that. Keep trying, some day your sister will open up. Remember what the Bible says about being persistent!
The parking scandal, it happened at more than one assembly, didn't it? I remember the last assembly and I forgot to bring my parking ticket and no one cared. It was all handled at the KH so I'm thinking it was handled the same way.