Christopher,
I PMed you. Pray, pray, pray. There are too few posts that talk the value and power of prayer. The elders are on your territory in your home. Act like it. The twosome is a front for a baited trap. They will draw you out, I wouldn't go there.
I sent a letter warning against trespass if they came here and verbally enforced it at the last loud mouthed elder visit. I also told the elder who knocked at my door to see if I still didn't want to be called on to "Leave now, not when you feel like it." He stood there writing on his territory card but I stepped outside and at a foots distance reinforced the order to leave NOW! He did. Stand like a man that is what you are.
I think the suicide, fratricide thoughts are usual but Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Some in the borg might even rejoice over your demise. I went through that and wouldn't give them the satisfaction of being destroyed by them. I am in a loving Church of Baptists. I am highly respected there. I AM LOVED. I am in a men's quartet. I go to Baptist men's prayer breakfasts and Baptist men's dinners where we plan projects. My son has a hundred + friends in youth. (He didn't have two in the KHall). The brand is not important, the WT lied about the value and import of brand name denominations. The ministerial staff's qualifications are more important and the discipleship courses they offer. I love my Sunday School group too, all of us wise old folks and old wise guys getting into The Word.
Anger is part of mourning your loss, you lost your happiness and identity and the love of your wife and whatever else, so, on Sunday morning go to CHURCH. Walk tall.
The Watchtower works very hard to convince their members that there is no other place to go. “Whom shall we go away to?” was spoken to a person, JESUS CHRIST. Jesus did not die to establish any organization. His spirit needs none. Jesus died to pay the penalty in FULL for sins. Salvation is by faith alone in Christ alone. Remember how many verses they excused themselves for changing to reinforce salvation by works. Most of John 3, 17:3 and the garbage of “faith without works is dead” is used to convince one that works save. Works do not produce faith, performing works is like acting, you will not become Hamlet no matter how long you play the part.
You will not get faith by doing works “of faith“. You lack faith, yes? Maybe you tried it their way and haven’t seen the fallacy of that. Jesus really did say, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” Belief in what? That a great spirit became a man was murdered and resurrected and that is it - God’s provision for our salvation. That IS IT. The simplicity of it is what people don’t get. Is that too hard? Just believe and love him for the price being paid by him. So what if you can’t figure out why Jesus death saved you? Believing in what God says is why one is saved that way.
Trust. I know that he is looking in on you. I will pray for you and for you to have the presence of an angel there for you.
NO fear. It is forbidden. You are powerful. God is in you now. No weapon formed against you will succeed. Walk tall brother. Soon they will say "you are the man."
I backed my wife into a corner several times and then prayed her into church. She is baptized and that makes six of us out of the WT in 2 years and into Cornerstone Baptist Church. Watch Christian TV.com Watch TV preachers like Creflo Dollar, Perry Stone, Jeffrey Grant, David Jeremiah, Les Feldick who are honorable men. Listen to Moody radio for sermons every morning until noon here. Listen to Christian music. There is some very cool music on Christian Radio. Get a WOW CD at any Christian bookstore or Wal-Mart …. Really truly, DO NOT TRUST THE NEGATIVE TALK. There is a reason they bad mouth their competition. The greater the perceived enemy the greater the response. Ever see Frankenstein? The villagers got pitchforks, torches, whatever to attack that dude who just woke up dazed and confused. He was perceived a great threat.
Now, Imagine you are the Frankenstein man. He was misunderstood. Imagine his feelings, pitchforks in his face and all. I’d be enraged too. Get out all you peasants. I am royalty. A son of the King is a prince.
Love,
Paul