Posts by freedomloverr

50

Loosing Moms We Never Had

by Sparkplug in

when my mom first came to live with me, i begrudged it.

i was angry.

i left home at age 14 and that was fine by me.

man sparky. what a full plate you've been dealing with. I don't see how you couldn't consider a home for your mom. still, it's such a challenging decision.

I've thought of this with my own mother. I've had a horrible mother my whole life also and I wonder what will happen when this woman needs her children. will we be able to muster up enough compassion to do what she needs?

you are a good daughter and a wonderful mother. thanks for the lesson....

4

IN-FLEW-ENZA

by freedomloverr in

second day home sick on the couch with flu.

ugh.

can't seem to get over the aches and fever.

freedomloverr

second day home sick on the couch with flu. ugh.

can't seem to get over the aches and fever.

so....after being able to catch up on JWD for the past two days ;) I've made myself a cup of tea with lots of honey and lemon juice and a good ol' shot of jack daniels. I'll soon be napping like a baby!

I hope nobody else has to get this....

-freedomlover

46

Told wife that I don't like going to the meeting

by XBEHERE in

jw
friends

finally said it out loud even though my actions have been showing it for quite some time.

a fight ensued and now she isn't talking to me.

the wierd thing is when i just didnt go she didn't say much (she hasn't been for over 2 mos for a medical reason) but god forbid i should actually vocalize that i don't want to go... i didn't want to give her any fuel to call me an apostate so i just blamed discouragement and my dislike of the elders which she already knows.

freedomloverr

****she knows I am stressed out she said and also that I seem different... so she knows something big is up in my life. I will reassure her of my love and support, but for my own health (I too was recently put on BP and Cholesterol meds) I need out of this cult!*****

I KNEW IT!! I knew she had to be wondering what was going on with you. I think I told you before that I thought my hubby was having an affair the whole year he was doing his *research* He was so distant, scatterbrained, and was drawing away from me all the time.

I know you might wonder if it's doing any good but keep reassuring her of your love for her and your family. Try not to take too much stock in her comments about *improving your attitude* - I did the same canned answers to my husband. honestly - I had been conditioned to give those answers not because I really believed them.

give her and yourself a few days. keep reassuring her that you love her and want to share your feelings with her but you are nervous about what she may say or do. that will give you a little time to clear the air and figure out how you want to procede.

keep us up to date....

((((xbehere))))) we're thinking about you!

21

My gran died/first meeting with my whole family since father's admission

by Wolfgirl in

i got a call tuesday afternoon that my gran (in the us) had a massive stroke and was in a coma.

they already knew that they were going to have to transfer to hospice.. i flew out wednesday, and the horrendous trip began.

we were a bit delayed coming in to washington because there was a plane sitting on the runway.

freedomloverr

(((((wolfgirl)))))

I'm so sorry for this loss.

as if death isn't hard enough, but having to deal with the jw bulls**t is so unfathomable.

you got guts to give that euology. I don't think I could have...

so sorry again.

27

Trevor: Meditation

by onacruse in

in one type of meditation the mind is able to be fully conscious without he intrusion of words, which lead to thoughts,.

trevor, i'm not trying to get on your ass here, but, please.... thoughts without words?

that is a fundamental epistemological impossibility...rather like farting without emitting gas.. or, perhaps, we're talking about a purely personal "mystical" experience, which cannot be put into (and did not spring from, nor finds any possible formulation within) words?

freedomloverr

****How would one "begin" this meditative process?****

ona - there is a lot of different ways to begin meditation...quite simply sit in a quiet, undistracted, place and try to learn to listen to your breathing. if you have trouble stopping the thought process ask yourself *I wonder what my next thought will be?* usually, it stops the thought process in it's tracks.

btw, try some mind-altering drugs now and then and you can achieve thought/ideas without words.

14

did the Witnesses hurt your marriage?

by magdalenefan in

jw
friends

to jump in and proclaim jesus was married, must seem strange, coming from someone divorced, i must believe in something.

mostly going over what went wrong and why.. if i shown more love, etc, etc.. but i wonder if the witnesses was like the rolling iron crush ball smashing into the demolishing building.

i am trying to think, blame them?

freedomloverr

****The only unhappiness now is that we don't feel secure in our future. We'd like to retire but can't (we just didn't prepare well enough). *****

(((((bonnie clyde))))

it is amazing to me sometimes what warped views on what love and marriage were supposed to be when I was a witness. I try to embrace the way we used to be and learn from it. we are starting over from where we are now.

14

did the Witnesses hurt your marriage?

by magdalenefan in

jw
friends

to jump in and proclaim jesus was married, must seem strange, coming from someone divorced, i must believe in something.

mostly going over what went wrong and why.. if i shown more love, etc, etc.. but i wonder if the witnesses was like the rolling iron crush ball smashing into the demolishing building.

i am trying to think, blame them?

freedomloverr

did it ever.

we were at a breaking point when my hubby left the org. and then me following shortly thereafter. it's been a long hard struggle to find ourselves and then figure out the issues we had between us because of not really knowing how to have a healthy relationship.

we have had to learn to be real partners. not just follow our *christian* roles and that's it. we've had to learn to communicate. something that a lot of witnesses and other people who've been emotionally abused through their whole lives, have a challenge with.

my hubby described it perfectly the other day about how we've gotten through this....he said " I think you both have to be secure enough to let eachother have their freak out moments, and not take it personally." (or something to that effect) :)

after you get past that you have to see if what you have is still something you want to work on and preserve.

unfortunately I've seen so many marriages ruined because of the witness issues.

9

Your Dreams...EH?

by KW13 in

jw
friends

tell us what you dreamt about, then tell us what you think it meant .

what did you dream about?

i can't remember .

freedomloverr

I dreamt about tom waits last night....

interpretation? ;)

10

Independent thinking

by under_believer in

jw
friends

those of us who are still attending meetings for one reason or another often hear the phrase "independent thinking" bandied about, from the platform, from the society's literature, and from comments from other witnesses.

independent thinking, we're told, is a snare.

it's dangerous.