Thank you for sharing something so private and difficult to express, Anon1028. Most here continue to be anonymous for obvious reasons.
If you feel suicidal at some point from here on out, please seek help, no matter how much trouble your family gives or gets because of it. In the USA, possibly where you are writing from, calling 911 can start such a process of forcing the issue to get needed help. Also, if eating too little or too much is a continuous problem, try to find help.
But if everything is manageable, and 911 is not your answer, there are other ways to get help. Consider researching, starting perhaps at Amazon, an author named Bonnie Zieman- a former JW who is a therapist and whose books are wonderful at helping JW's/ex-JW's work through depression or doubt or other things. Her books were not out when I went through my doubting, so I did heavy research through various channels including counseling that my insurance helped pay for. I discovered Bonnie's books later and thought they would have been better than my path of self-help books and videos, or at least a great supplement.
While it doesn't seem like it now, realizing the need to escape Jehovah's Witnesses at this young stage will be a benefit to you.
I don't quite understand your current position with your biological brothers/sisters. I only read your initial first post. Are they younger, older? Whatever the case, try to stay in their lives to help them or they might help you. If not possible, and along with siblings, many of us former JW's have developed great friendships and consider friends to be our family.
And certainly consider the people here as desirous of helping. But remember many of us have a chip on our shoulders, so when we say "F#$k 'em!" about some people, analyzing it for yourself can be helpful. Analyzing all things for yourself will help.
I understand that you might need to prioritize getting on your own. I probably would do the same. But also consider making your career goals, including any education. It can be slow going if need be, but always look to move forward.
When I have time, I will read this whole thread. Despite being out awhile, I enjoy the advice and stories of others. Good day.