Posts by OnTheWayOut

36

Family Reuinion and Being Disfellowshipped (sorry...but it's long)

by babygirl30 in

jw
friends

it has been a long looong time since i posted on here, but never ceased reading all the posts and keeping up on the changes that have been going on!

but it just seems that now i have a need to get something off my chest, and this is the one place that will most definitely understand the topic at hand.

i have been disfellowshipped for about 8yrs now, and have dealt with the 'consequences' of that decision: all my so-called friends in the org left and i was also abandoned by my own family.

OnTheWayOut

I am glad you connected with family. Your parents long to talk to you but the stupid cult rules stand in their way. They apply rules to your sister that they wish they could apply to you. Were it me, I would reach out occasionally by inviting them to life events, sending photos of life events when they didn't attend, continually reaching out to the rest of the family.

Let the JW part of the family look bad on their own. Don't defend your parents, but remind family that it is the stupid cult rules that makes them that way. "Just try to forgive them. As screwed up as it is, I would welcome them back into my life if they put aside the JW rules." That's what I would say.

29

To DA or not to DA, that is the question?

by dubstepped in

let me preface this by saying that i don't expect anyone here to make my decision for me.

i do however note that like the bible says, in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom, and this is a huge decision, so i wanted to put it out there for discussion.

i really appreciate your words of wisdom, as this affects not just me but my wife also, as we find ourselves in the same boat.

OnTheWayOut

Your choice is a tough one. DA'ing would be a personal declaration of your rejection of the religion and would mean quite a bit to you. But you've worked carefully to achieve your current status.

People typically fade and avoid DA just for family. Some try to retain friends also.

Despite your family shunning you, you make this statement:
"I feel that DA'ing puts up a wall, another barrier that prevents family from waking up and reaching out to us. As of now, they could more easily reason that they could talk to us. If we DA they really face a whole other level of difficulty in reaching out."

If it were me, I would stick with my faded status and reach out to family slowly at opportune times like weddings and funerals and any times when non-JW family invites us and JW family to the same gatherings. DA is for life and many situations may come up in the rest of your life- illnesses, births, deaths, joys, tragedies.

22

Damn.....totally not diggin this....

by brandnew in

jw
friends

ok, im gonna try makin this as short as i can, cuz im still pissed.. my father is elderly, needs me to drive him to meetings.

it takes 30 minutes to drive there, so i stay for the meeting, i dress in slacks and a nice shirt ..in respect for pops.

going back home , would be pissing in the wind.....i would just have to turn around 20 minutes after getting there.. well elders asked me to the back room, and said im doing a good job taking care of my father, and that it looks like im well on my way to getting reinstated soon....wtf???.

OnTheWayOut

You are such a good son (or daughter). No, they cannot force a reinstatement on you. They are just trying to get you to request one. If it were me, I would tell Pops he's got to text you if he's ready to leave early and I would go to Starbucks or run errands.

27

Use of first names at the KH

by Sour Grapes in

jw
friends

have you ever noticed that know one uses first names at the kh?

it is how are you brother jones?

how are you sister smith?

OnTheWayOut

I suppose that it's different for a "worldly" man who enters the Kingdom Hall and eventually becomes a brother. As a study, I called adults by their first name and it stuck with me after becoming a "brother." Oh, there were those elderly ones who got called Brother Smith or Sister Harris, but it never seemed right to me.

I would be at a door with a nervous sister who would say at a door, "Hello, my name is Sheila and this is Brother OTWO." It must have screamed "CULT" to the woman at the door.

57

Shall I go to the meeting? Would you?

by KateWild in

hi guys,.

i might go to the meeting.

i stopped going in my heart properly in nov 2013, but i went to a couple of meetings to support a love one that was df'd and tried to teach them a little ttatt.. now another df'd loved one is coming to see me today and will likely encourage me to try and get ri'd, and i want to support her.

OnTheWayOut

NO, I would not go back for the sake of those seeking reinstatement. If I cannot get TTATT to them outside the Kingdom Hall, I can't see how going to the Kingdom Hall would make a difference. There, they will be shunned and I would either sit with them and be shunned or sit elsewhere and have to join in on the shunning of them.

FORGET IT!

Edited to add:

And letting anyone know, "I'm just here to support 'Suzy.'" will just hurt 'Suzy' on her reinstatement. She's hanging out with the likes of you, someone who is not regular and not intending to be regular. If 'Suzy' wants to be reinstated, she can't be your friend inside the Kingdom Hall.

113

New letter, re: Fully Utilizing Kingdom Hall Auditoriums

by suavojr in

jw
friends

let the merging begin!!!.

to all bodies of elders in the united states branch territory.

re: fully utilizing kingdom hall auditoriums.

OnTheWayOut

SO, brothers....

We took your funds away and explained that we need more Kingdom Halls. We showed you designs for new Kingdom Halls and made you feel that this was happening. Heck, you probably got excited by the new look, and it will happen in some places where it will be easy to sell these branch bank or dentist-office types of buildings.

Now when you start to feel the delay, we prepare for that with thoughts on merging and cramming more people into your old Kingdom Hall or selling your old Kingdom Hall. TOO LATE, IT'S OUR MONEY ALREADY. HA HA!!!! FOOL YOU ONCE, FOOL YOU FOREVER!!!

21

How do you know Satan didn't inspire the Bible?

by Coded Logic in

jws believe that satan knows things about the natural world (like how it was formed).. they also believe that satan can influence events (even fulfill prophecies).. the bible is the source of great confusion and the vast majority of christians (2.2 billion people) believe it but do not have "accurate knowledgetm".. from the jw point of view, wouldn't it be more likely that satan inspired the bible than an all loving god?.

OnTheWayOut

Satan influenced the Bible? No way. God would prevent that just like he prevents innocent children from needless suffering at the hands of natural disasters or pedophile priests. God would stop that just like he stops cancer in faithful believers and stops birth defects.

God would not allow Satan to do something in "His" name just as He doesn't allow humans to do terrible things in "His" name.

......er, wait....... Am I missing something?

69

Thinking of Going Full Disclosure With Wife. Sorta

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

soliciting any and all opinions.

as some of you may know, wife is full in pioneer.

my fade has gone from us fighting.

OnTheWayOut

My JW spouse seems to entertain no thoughts that I may just "prove" it's the truth to myself and come back. I got there by some brutally honest talks with her. But I have not really directly said how I feel about science vs. God and how I have grown to realize that all the gods were created by men. Still, she must know by our conversations. I highly recommend that people gauge their own family situation and decide how honest, how quickly to reveal things, but to always work more toward mental and verbal freedom.

11

'Equality' at Wimbledon

by LoveUniHateExams in

serena williams has just won the wimbledon ladies' singles championship.

she beat garbine muguruza in straight sets, 6-4, 6-4. the match lasted 1 hour 24 minutes.. tomorrow, djokovic plays federer in the men's singles final.

it is a rematch of last year's men's final.

OnTheWayOut

Regardless of how equal men and women are, there is a difference. The very best male athletes can go longer than the very best female athletes in many endurance-type sports. This is not anti-feminist of me to say this. Olympic records and world records attest to it. Because of this, Wimbledon has more sets for the men so that they can prove their endurance. If they could get them (and the women) to go even longer, I am sure they would consider it.

It is the way that women players draw crowds and television audiences that got them equal prizes at Wimbledon. Besides, equal pay for equal work is really more about white and blue collar jobs. Women can endure just as long at a desk or assembly line as a man or can typically accomplish just as much physically, at a labor job. Most laborers are not "very best athletes" and the degree of difference quickly tapers off once we've left that arena or tennis court.

56

Hello Everyone

by MarieK in

i hope everyone is having a good saturday.

i've visited this many times in the past month or so, joined yesterday and finally got the nerve to post!

needless to say, i'm super nervous, being new to this whole experience.

OnTheWayOut

Welcome MarieK. Many things led to me waking up, but similar to you, it was simply overcoming fear and researching my own religion. That's what they tell people to do, except they subliminally mean for anyone not a JW to research their beliefs and for any JW to just go along.

Looking forward to reading more from you. Hi back at you for now.