Thinking of Going Full Disclosure With Wife. Sorta

freemindfade

Soliciting any and all opinions.

As some of you may know, wife is full in pioneer. My fade has gone from us fighting. To her being tolerant that I am working on my doubts as I am shunned by my family for voicing some discontent with the borg. She has changed a lot to become a much more tolerant person. However as the RC showed me she is still completely resistant to opening her eyes to the stupidity of this cult even a little.

So I hold back for peace sake. Part of her cd (for me not the org) is she feels (my doing) that I am just starting over and trying to prove this is the truth. Still she is not naive entirely and I think she knows I am agnostic at best, with atheist tendencies lol.

I read an article cappy shared withe about a young couple. And his explanation of having to leave the religion and start a new life with his wife. It was so well worded. It had TTATT in it but was so genuine, not vitriol at all. It was heart wrenching and beautiful. I entertain thoughts of DA all the time but part of me feels that I cannot play their cult game and Id rather stay where I am and rott (with knowledge) their cult from the inside out. But coming clean and telling here essentially know this is not gods chosen organization, I know the bible is not gods word, and I know there is no yhwh, would be very final for her. She would know that's it I'm done.

Thoughts?

Bonsai

I told my wife quite simply that I can't deal with this religion being in my head anymore. It makes me want to kill myself. Every time I hear the words, "last days" "armageddon" "sense of urgency"and the weight of having to save people from a capricious God was just too much burden to bear. I told her I dont want to worship a god that will kill all these clueless people. I wanted to let her know, right from the beginning, that I was done with it all. She first threatened to leave, then kick me out. Suddenly she did an about face, started researching for herself what had made me feel as strongly and convinced as I did. She's more out now than I am. I guess it all depends how much your wife loves you verses the borg.if you are already being shunned by your family then I see no reason to not show all of your cards to your wife.

i know of some individuals who are full-blown, disassociated apostate, yet their still in wives remain by their side because of the authentic love that they have for each other.

Daniel Genser's story on JWsurvey is just awesome. It proves that if one's wife really loves her husband (or husband loves his wife), he/she will adapt and stick with their mate no matter what.

freemindfade

Yep. Daniels story is the one I refer to. Very powerful. But to me most powerful was his choice of words and reasoning.

Sitting through the meeting yesterday and listening to them talk about "the sin of not being interested" is exactly what you are talking about. They straight up implied jesus is coming to whoop your ass if you arent interested enough to learn more. Stupid cult.

Finkelstein

The WTS. is and has been a deceitful commercialized fraud run by opportunistic charlatans and their own publishing house.

There is much proof and viability to that. JWfacts is a good place to investigate this assertion, with a open and honest mind.

In essence these men were seeking their own subsequent power which they built that through the false doctrines they produced, taught and propagated. Good luck on your journey to the truth.

konceptual99

I am planning on doing the same. I am working out what and how I will say it. I have concluded that there is nothing I can do to prevent her feeling hurt and anxious but I can't go on with her not asking the question and me not offering the answer.

I certainly don't want to force her and my family into a position that makes the whole social fabric of our lives crumble overnight but the facade has to come down at some point and it is better that I have some control over that rather than have that whipped out of my hands through other events.

dubstepped

As to how much you should reveal and when, only you can really judge. However, I just want to caution against expecting her time for awakening to coincide with yours. You were allowed time to see things and digest them as it was fit for you. You now cannot go and shove it down her throat and expect her to react well. Not that you were going to, as you've already revealed things progressively. However, I've seen people wake up financially and want to get on a new money program (Dave Ramsey) and then challenge the integrity of their spouse because their spouse isn't ready to see it yet. For some reason when we awaken in any way we then have a tendency to expect others to see what we see when we now see it. That's not fair, as we were allowed to see it in our due time. To equate one's love with their ability to see and accept a whole new perspective isn't fair.

Finkelstein

I like so many others left this organization upon its false doctrines that in reality were directly against the bible direction even against what Jesus Christ laid out to his true followers. I wanted to be that true follower but I couldn't with the deceitful lying of the Watchtower Corporation.

One thing to keep in mind is one can never be an apostate if they personally hold carefully to what Jesus Christ taught his followers to be.

Religious charlatans (WTS) become true apostates in their endeavors to sell the products they promote, labeling it as preaching the Gospel, it may be their version of the Gospel but its not in accordance to what how JC laid out in how to preach the Gospel, there is a dividing difference. Jesus Christ even gave direction to define false prophets and how one should stand away from these people .

So it all depends who you are being devoted to, JC or the men/leaders running the Watchtower Corporation ?

cappytan

No one can tell you what to do. You and you alone know your wife better than any of us.

Have you prepared yourself for what might happen if she leaves you/asks you to leave? Are you ready to make that sacrifice for your freedom?

I wasn't when I approached my wife. I lucked out because she didn't react that way. But I wasn't prepared for the worst. I don't know what I would have done.

Approach it calmly.

You know much of my story, since we were already communicating when I talked to the wife.

But, I'm going to share it for the others that may be contemplating the same things.

I came home from work one day, distraught from having another day's productivity ruined because I couldn't keep my mind off of TTATT.

My wife, cooking chili or something on the stove, said, "Bad day?"

I said, "Yeah. I'm stressed."

I decided to just talk to her about it. "Honey, there's something really serious I need to talk to you about, but I don't want you to freak out. I'm not cheating on you. Nothing like that. But it's very serious and as my wife, you deserve to know what I'm going through."

She said, "Okay, what is it?"

I spilled my guts about a bunch of stuff. 607, 1914, how I didn't believe this was God's organization, and I didn't know what to believe anymore. But before I got into all of that, I started with an illustration. In a former job, I used to work in the hunting and outdoor industry. I asked her what would she think of me if I were secretly a card carrying PETA member, but outwardly I worked for the hunting job because it provided for our family and our entire family and all our friends worked in the industry? Would she want to know how I felt?

She said yes.

I then said, "I have some doubts about the organization." Then I laid out my major issues.

She didn't (outwardly) react negatively. Tried to laugh it off, saying she had doubts sometimes too.

I didn't know this at the time, but recently she admitted to me that she was panicking on the inside, extremely upset and broken hearted. She said that she couldn't sleep that night and cried most of it.

She was hoping it was just a phase I was going through and that she could help me with my spirituality.

Within 4-6 weeks, though, she was fully awake.

I don't regret talking to my wife about it. But I was very close to losing her. If it hadn't been for that PBS Newshour story on Candace Conti, she would still be all-in with the organization.

Finkelstein

By I would agree with dubstepped that if your wife is deeply involved with this religion , that he would be prudent to take things slow and give them time to mentally absorb things. Too much diversion can at times cause people to create a big protecting wall by self adherence. Its not easy to consciously realize and accept something that you hold in your heart and mind so adamantly that it was all much to be about deceit and corruption.

DesirousOfChange

Good advice already.

I can only stress "baby steps". Go slowly.

My wife awakened by the fact that I was asking sincere questions about what was troubling me. I was Full In JW. Baptized (too) young, young MS, prominent (former) Elder when I began fully awakening. I had always been rooted deeper "in" The Troof than had she, so she was startled by my doubts. Her first reaction was that I might be attempting to find cause to breakup our marriage.

There were a couple of personal attacks against our family members, and that proved to be a key point of awakening too. Where's the LOVE? Where's the JUSTICE? Where's the Holy Spirit involvement? The Holy Spirit issue was the final straw, IMO. That is what supposedly makes the JW.bOrg "special". God's Holy Spirit is whispering in their ear. If you determine that there is NO Holy Spirit involved in running things, then their whole House of Cards collapses. All of a sudden you understand why all the failed prophesies. You understand why "wicked" men are appointed and prominently used in leadership. When that happens, you realize there is no Holy Spirit lurking and watching and protecting.

Not DF or DA. Just weak inactive JWs who are waiting on Jehovah to resolve these issues caused by the imperfect men being used. "We are confident that He will correct all these things according to His own timetable." (LOL)

In the meantime, we are "waiting".......... though NOT in the Kingdom Hall (the 'protective Ark"). We are waiting -- esp on the weekends -- at the lake, or at the pool, or at a B&B overlooking the mountains, or just lazing around in bed on Sat/Sun mornings.

Good luck,

Doc

Thinking of Going Full Disclosure With Wife. Sorta

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