Hi -- I'm the person Jourles is referring to -- I don't mind using my own name, but maybe I shouldn't? So for now , until someone tells me otherwise (and even though he referred to me as "S"), I will refer to myself as Gadfly.
I certainly DON'T care if you're df'd, Jourles -- I am completely and utterly happy about it!!!
Talking to Jourles was a blast -- I was so excited and happy to make a connection with someone from my past -- it was like spending time with family. I am so proud of his stand, and the journey he took to get there. Good job, Jourles!!!
And I am 48, Jourles, you rat. Just kidding -- I love who I am AND how old I am now that I am no longer part of the Borg -- and whaddya you mean, I'm NOT an old crush? You mean you didn't lust after me when I was your baby sitter? You probably don't even remember me baby-sitting; you were pretty little. In fact, I can't imagine you as a grown-up guy -- you were maybe 16 or 17 the last time I saw you?
It was fun remembering people and catching up on things, but sad, too. Melancholy. Talking about my 30 years in Watchtower servitude always makes me miss my family (and remember the way they treated me throughout the disfellowshipping process) and friends. Especially since I went out with such a bang and have since heard hellacious (sp?) rumors about what I had supposedly done,many of them fabricated and spread by my very own family. Apostasy is a new one, and it makes me especially angry. You'd think that after 30 years, those people would know me better than to suspect or spread that one; however, when my logic brain clicks in, I can see how unreasonable that is to expect. After all, these are the same people that pick each other apart over everything from attending unnapproved movies to having a beard or mustache. It seems that the minute you are da'd or df'd (and in my case I was df-d, and under very suspicious circumstances) you are fair game for wagging tongues.
Yup. One of my favorite scriptures used to be the one about gossip -- you know, how it lists gossipers with fornicators, liars, and men who "lie-with-men"? Galations something? ((I am sooooooo happy that I know longer quote and cite that scripture)) I just think -- there go those murdering tongues again, having their way with their "the truth." Ironic, is it not? Being gay is a sin, but ignore what the bible really says --gossiping is perfectly acceptable!
I am not one of those ex-witnesses that goes a little crazy from the oppression after they are cast out. I didn't start taking drugs, drinking alot, join a fundamental religion, or become a porn star (hmmm.... I wonder if there's still time for that one? again JUST KIDDING). I just stayed myself. Jourles said the same thing -- he's just himself. I tried to tell my brothers that, but they weren't having any of it. And to tell the truth (no pun intended), I am SOOOOOOO glad that I was ousted cuz it gave me back my life. Had I not been tossed out on my sad little hiney, I would have stayed Borg-ridden forever out of fear of the future or love for my family . But I would never have become apostate . . . even though I guess I am a serious apostate now!
Yes -- I proclaim "the truth" to be a sad pack of lies. I am still recovering from the damage done to me in that org. But I count myself lucky and am GRATEFUL for every second I spend out of it.
Sorry -- this was long winded, but I was seriously affected by talking with Jourles. And grateful. Looking back makes me realize how wonderful today is. These days, I love my life!!! THANK YOU Jourles, for finding me!!!
Looking forward to meeting and sharing stories and support,
The Gadfly
