I was baptized in 1975 while in an abusive marriage. I was given the hope that if I got in Jehovah's religion and prayed real hard that the God who invented marriage would fix mine. To make a long story short, things got worse for me and my 2 babies and when I asked for help the congregation told me they could not get involved. I took my babies and ran away. A worldly lady friend took us in and every time my husband came around her men friends would bounce him off the walls and send him on his way. I got the divorce and my ex would still come around and harass me. The men still jumped in and ran him off so I could work and walk the streets without fear. I went back to the kingdom hall and told the elders that I was divorced and where I was staying and who I was staying with. I told them my ex was still trying to hurt me. They told me they would disfellowship me if I continued to live with these worldly people and even called a meeting with other elders that I was supposed to attend. I didn't go and I never went back.
Over the years I got married again to a really wonderful man and had 2 more children. Every place I ever lived, every time the company I worked for sent me to a new location the same elder from that congregation would show up. He told me all the other elders were gone and that Jehovah forgives me for what I did and that I need to come back and save the lives of my children. It really bothered me but I never went back. Between work and family I was too busy. The elder never gave up. In 1999 my husband died of cancer. I went to the elder at his home and told him. I was in pain, scared, and was thinking that if the only way I could see my husband again was in the resurrection I had to get right with Jehovah. I and my 2 small children went back to the same congregation I quit long ago. I stayed in the back room because the kids would break down and cry alot. The PO and his wife sat with me and tried to comfort us. Along the way the PO asked how I was set financially since I lost my job. I told them I had a life insurance policy on my husband. For the next 3 months it took for the check to come the PO's wife was with me at the meetings or at my house or on the phone with me helping me through my hard times or so I thought. They asked if the check came and the PO told me at the meeting he needed to speak to me on a very private matter and there were too many ears at the hall for him to talk. He needed to meet with me after the meeting. He said the congregation was trying to buy land for a new hall and needed good faith money to show the org. He said I would get it right back especially if I needed it in an emergency. He wanted it all. I said no. I offered $20,000.00 as long as I got it back. Oh, the things Jehovah was going to bless me with because this was a true sign of repentance on my part for being gone so long from Jehovahs org. THEN the next day he called me and asked how soon he could get the money. He said , by the way, I really the money first and he would put it back before the congregation missed it or needed it. The bible says it is better to give then to receive. You are supposed to help those who shepherd God's flock. The PO's wife wrote these very words in a contract between them and me for the money. This was a secret contract between us because the congregation could not know their PO had money problems caused from caring for the congregation. Right after this the PO and his wife were too busy to talk to me any more. After 4 months I asked about my money. They said they could not pay me all my money back at once like they thought so they wrote me two checks two weeks apart a told me to cash them and then they would give me more. I took the first check to the bank....it bounced. I called them and when they finally answered the phone, said I was to wait one month then try again. I waited a month and called them first to make sure the money was there and his wife said not to cash the check, the money isn't there. I said I want my money and was going to the bank anyway. She screamed don't you dare at me and hung up. She beat me to the bank and closed her account. I didn't know what to do. I am all alone. I went to their house and they would not answer the door so I sat in my car in front of their house and cried. A brother who is a good frien of the POs came by and saw me crying. He drove me home in his car and tried to talk to me. I told him what was going on. He did'nt believe me. He went back to their house and told them what I said. The POs wife came to my house and said I would get my money and to stop trying to start trouble. Not long after this the PO and this other brother started showing up at my house drunk and telling me about what bad wives they had and that no one in the congregation had any room to talk about any body. He had something on every one of them. He said I don't really know what it is like to be a witnesses. My neighbor who is a policeman would come over when they showed up drunk on motorcycles and asked me if I wanted him to run them off. I always made them stay on the front porch so the kids would not see them drunk. I was afraid to piss off the PO because of the money he owed me. They both started making sexual advances towards me. The other brother went home and told his wife what he was doing and she went to the elders. They called me into a meeting with them and I told them everything. One elder told me I was a fool to ever lend a witnesses money and that it was gone. He said Jehovah would not allow me to take them to court and defame his name. If I tried they would disfellowship me. If I had anything to do with the brother they would disfellowship me. About this time the CO came to town. He called me in for a meeting and I went through all of it again and gave him a copy of the bad checks and the contract. He went to the PO who said he knew nothing about any loan. His wife must have done it behind his back. The wife came to my house screaming at me that I have no idea what kind of damage I have done to her family. The other brothers wife threw him out and he said if I would let it all die down he would make all the repairs on my home that the $20,000.00 would have paid for. He thought he could smooth things over with his wife and fix his best friend the POs problems that way. The CO said the brother could not fix my house or come around me again. The brother blew up and said he had something on everyone in the congregation too and that no one was going to tell him what to do. He said he has helped other widows in the congregation and he could help me if he wanted too. The CO calls me on the phone with another elder on the line too and says, You know this brother was not really the Po. He had been replaced just before he borrowed the money. I asked him to tell me what the difference was between this religion and the other religions out there. He said there is none. I since have been disfellowshiped. The ex-Po or what ever he is, is still there in good standing. I recently asked for a meeting with the elders and gave them a list of watchtower articles and bible quotes about the borrower and the liar and the thief and asked why this man was still in good standing. The PO told me that I could research the watchtower cd all I wanted to. They don't go by what is said in there. He said they have their own book they go by. So much for Jehovah's kind of justice.
I found this site several months ago and some very kind people gave me advice about getting help. I truly thank you. The court system is very slow and of course they are fighting me. I have no one else to talk to. I have not been able to tell my children what a fool this religion has made of me. I carry the shame in silence. Please beware anyone who turns to God when your love ones die. It leaves you open to be taken advantage of.
