Posts by truthsearcher

We have decided as a family to make the sacrifices necessary to be a one income family so I could be at home to raise our children, and also be able to homeschool. As far as social misfits go, our children have all been social leaders that their peers respect. Although, since moving to a smaller community, we have met some that were a little backward. It must depend on the parents.

The JW style of hsing perhaps is an inadequate way to do it. The cult represses critical thinking skills, and drags the kids door to door when they should be learning, so this perhaps is a reason for JWs not to homeschool. Once you are out though, it could be a strong alternative for those so driven. If anyone is interested in more information or links, PM me. I have done this for 17 years and have alot of research and links to share.

10

Went to a Wesleyan fellowship breakfast

by Undecided in

jw
friends

i kind of enjoyed going and having breakfast with the group of men.

each one told his story of who he was and his religious feelings.

no one questioned my jw background after i told them of my history and that i was looking for the "truth" again.

truthsearcher

Men's Breakfasts are a common feature in the evangelical circle. I think they like to get together and consume lots of high cholestrol food without their wives saying "You're not actually going to eat all THAT are you?" At our last church, they got in a chef to do the meal--the guys just, pardon the pun, ate it up!

Of course, the spiritual aspect is important too, and often they will have a devotional (someone sharing some thoughts from the Bible) or talking about spiritual journeys/relationships.

My hubby likes to go, it might have something to do with my low-fat health-nut cooking ("What, we're having beans and kasha for supper AGAIN???) Poor guy!

Anyway, for those of you still interested in the Bible, give it a try.

185

WT BLOOD GUILT EXPOSED TO THE WORLD

by DannyHaszard in

parents don't get a moral pass.

toronto star, canada - 3. even the discovery that their parents were devout jehovah's witnesses and is there any other kind of watchtower congregant?

raised only faint alarm ... rosie [email protected] the author.

truthsearcher

Good article.

I am hoping to meet this week with the local HLC elder so he can help clear up my "confusion" about blood. Keep those articles coming! It will be a loooooooooooooooong night! Anyone else want to join us?

TS

34

Anyone in here(parents) homeschool the kids? What curriculms do you use?

by Jeepthing in

jw
friends

i just want to know what most of jw(ex or inactive or active) parents use or used for curriculms.

and results of using certain ones.

truthsearcher

In addition to ebay, I have bought used curriculum by searching for used curriculum on the Internet, such as here:

http://www.wtmboards.com/saleswap/

I also have found some interesting free resources on-line. Search under "Free Stuff"

I am a big believer in reading together--the great classics--I have several books that list really noteworthy books "Honey For A Child's Heart", "Books Children Love" We used the library frequently and have shelves and shelves of books in almost every room.

There is a philosophy that believes in delayed formal academics until sense are mature (around age 8). Dr. Raymond Moore is an author worth reading in this regard. That means lots and lots of reading together and activities together without the pressure of pushing math and writing, etc. if they aren't ready. Again, check the Internet for some articles about this approach, if you would like.

Sorry that you have had unpleasant experiences with the Christian hsers in your area. I have met many that are not as fanatical. I have been involved in 3 different groups but now we go solo. The A Beka curriculum is an advanced curriculum (about a year ahead of Canadian public schools, so likely even more ahead of US schools, lol) but very patriotic American in tone at times.

But those hs conference curriculum halls are a great way to pick up some really fun and interesting stuff.

All the best,

TS

56

Homeschooling . Are you for or against?

by becca1 in

jw
friends

just want to take a poll.

no need for explinations, just for or against.. me- against..

truthsearcher

For!!!

As you may know, we hs our kids. I went out of the way to make it interesting, made sure they learned how to study, how to think critically (logic/foreign languages), did lots of field trips to museums, have the philosophy that "life is school", therefore we are learning and discussing stuff all the time, not just between certain hours, have set a model for them by continuing to learn and study myself (current topic: cults)

Kid #1--went back for Grade 12 to public school: At graduation received 4 awards--academic and leadership/social.

Kid #2-In college this year, 4.0 GPA, organized a study group for friends to help them do better, busy social life.

Kid #3-excelling in the many areas of interest, involved in many extra-curricular activities, might end up famous one day for talent.

Don't throw out this excellent form of education just because of JW failures. They are the exception not the norm, as in so many other things in life.

TS

4

I scare Jehovah's Witness away

by I quit! in

jw
friends

my cousin and his family are visiting me from edmonton.

they just informed me that when jws call on them they tell them they have a cousin who used to be on and left when he found out it wasn't the truth.

they said it works every time.

truthsearcher

Thank you brother Buddy:

Does anyone have the gift of interpretation?

3

Hope for loved ones still in the WT

by truthsearcher in

jw
friends

i thought this article was worth sharing:.

"when i remember how many of us are affected (by loved ones still in cults), i realize that my hope has many objects.

i hope that my granddaughter will one day leave.

truthsearcher

I thought this article was worth sharing:

"When I remember how many of us are affected (by loved ones still in cults), I realize that my hope has many objects. I hope that my granddaughter will one day leave. Indeed, there are signs that she, like many children raised in cults, is rebelling against the system in which she grew up and is reaching toward the outside world.

I hope that young people will continue to be warned about cults and psychological manipulation by teachers and clergy – and you.

I hope that more mental health professionals and clergy will learn about cults and how to help families and former members. I hope that cult researchers will develop more practical materials for families and former members, so that more people can learn how to fight subtlety with greater subtlety. I hope that more workshops and conferences for families and former members will take place so that more and more people can make the personal connections that are so vital to fully understanding this field.

These are not vain hopes! These are hopes that will be realized. You and others who will come along in years to come will bring these hopes to fruition. Of this I am sure. The fall of the Soviet Union shows that lies, even when they have the power of the state behind them, cannot survive indefinitely. Truth doesn’t go away.

But what about my son? My hope concerning my son resides not in what I know, but in what I don’t know. All that I know about his group and his relationship to the group leads me to the conclusion that he will never come out. But I also know from my work in this field that every day long-term cult members walk out of their groups – sneak out in many cases. Virtually every AFF ex-member workshop, for example, has at least one person who had been in a group for 20 years or more. Most of these long-term members leave without their family’s pursuing an intervention.

They leave because they are burned out by the work demands.

They leave because the weight of inconsistency, contradiction, and hypocrisy becomes more than they can bear.

They leave because they are pressured to abuse their children, a command to which they are finally able to say "no."

They leave because they begin to question or dissent and are thrown out of the group.

They leave because the leader’s repeated false predictions about the future become too hard to rationalize away.

They leave for a myriad of reasons that have nothing to do with what their families do or say.

Indeed, their families often don’t have a clue about what is going on. One day their loved one is in; another day he or she is out.

I hope that I live long enough to see my son leave his group, or at least to see my granddaughter renounce the group. But even if I don’t, my hope will outlive my breath. I know that my son is still there, buried underneath the rubble that the cult has convinced him is spiritual superiority. He can be awakened. I have seen it happen to others. So I will not stop hoping."

http://www.csj.org/infoserv_articles/langone_michael_arthoping.htm

48

What will it take for me to stop this?

by sibboleth in

jw
friends

i have lurked for over a year.

i keep coming back here - everytime i do - it's like witnessing a car wreck.

the things i don't want to read or believe are right here before my eyes - it's like a drug.

truthsearcher

Welcome Sibboleth and Happy Birthday !

That was nice that your Mom called to say she loved you! I hope that you are able to eat lots and lots of cake today!

Your questions are ones that I have been considering lately. My Mom was raised in a high control cult and we have dealt with the emotional fall-out of that over the years. I have been wondering what it takes to move on and heal from the process. I think it is important to note that often, people do need to have some counselling to help them.

I have found some articles that might be helpful. If there is interest in this topic I will post more of them.

This one was from http://www.csj.org/infoserv_articles/furnari_leona_bornraised.htm

Losses

I have conducted interviews with a number of adults who were raised in CHDGs. In addition to developmental deficits, these individuals identify a myriad of other personal losses. These include, though are certainly not limited to:

childhood, self, family, God, meaning, sustaining beliefs, language, identity, learning capacities, problems sustaining relationships, problems reading social cues.

Many of these former members describe deep feelings of shame, guilt, isolation, doubt, confusion, and mood swings. The following statements express some of the difficulties faced:

"I felt, and continue to feel, like a stranger in a strange land."

"I had no pre-cult self, lacked basic survival skills, had/have many relational issues, had lack of understanding of normal human emotions and expression, lacked critical thinking skills, and needed to re-define ‘normal’."

"Everywhere I went upon leaving the cult I tripped up on my own undone developmental work."

"I will be in recovery for the rest of my life. The damage I suffered was profound."

"It was deprivation, abuse and developmental lack."

"Lots of re-defining of terms, i.e. good bad, etc. I had to come to grips with the sad, apparent truth that good people suffer losses all the time."

"I had no reference to go back to – this has been the most difficult piece. I had to give up all the meaning I had learned – everything I learned was wrong. Accepting this is the key to my recovery."

Recovery
Though recovery will not be explored in depth in this paper, it is important to have an overview of the recovery process. Martin (1993) discusses stages of recovery following cultic experiences. These stages are similar, though with a unique twist for those born or raised in CHDGs because there is no pre-cult identity to go back to, so I have modified Martin somewhat (e.g., "re-evaluation" becomes "evaluation", "reintegration" becomes "integration"). The stages are:

q
Evaluation of the experiences - often in tandem with finding a support network, including any former members and/or extended family who have been on the outside; education on cults/mind control; therapy; reading; journaling

q
Reconciliation/Adaptation, Conciliation – moving slowly, taking small steps; explore redefining of terms; set small goals, tend to personal health; discover personal strengths

q
Integration – occurs over time

There are many things that will likely impact the success and degree of recovery. Developmental tasks of safety and trust are paramount, and are usually not quickly or painlessly achieved. Rosanne Henry, a licensed professional counselor who works with cult survivors says that "we can’t expect to do recovery the way we do cults," (personal communication 2004) meaning that there are no magic bullets or quick fixes, and that time, patience, and self-care are very important. This cannot be emphasized enough. In the cult recovery field one of the theories is that most people, at times of vulnerability, are susceptible to being indoctrinated into a CHDG, and that one need not come from a dysfunctional family or have family-of-origin issues to have become involved in such a group. Treatment usually focuses on the cult experience first, and then family-of-origin issues, if there are any. In the case of those born or raised in CHDGs the two are inseparable and must be dealt with simultaneously. Since the trauma is relational and occurs over time, the individual may be dealing with complex PTSD, and professional help may be important for understanding and decreasing the symptoms.

Healing is a process, and adaptation and integration occur over time. It is very important to remember that human beings are resilient. As one begins to experience small successes and builds a foundation of personal strengths and skills, one’s sense of safety begins to expand. As one’s sense of safety expands, so do self-confidence, autonomy, initiative, and identity, just as in the normal process of healthy childhood development.

26

My Bethel Experience part 4

by new boy in

jw
friends

black thursday september 1972. knorr gathered all the bethel "heavies" and gb to the kh in the 119 building.

the three freds (circuit overseers).............and about 50 brothers.....thats right only 50. the other guys chickened out, they knew it was going to be a blood bath.

i was there with 7 others from the launrdy............... it started out with dan smoally (not even 30 years old and partaking) telling about what max larson (head of the whole factory) told him "there was no way he was one of the anointed!

truthsearcher

It started out with Dan Smoally (not even 30 years old and partaking) telling about what Max Larson (head of the whole factory) told him "there was NO WAY he was one of the ANOINTED!" Max at the time was a member of the great crowd...........I mean how could God pick him, some kid? When Max was there at Gods house for over 40 years?......Sometimes I wonder how God picks those anointed guys anyway, God can be strange sometimes.

I have asked this same question to the JWs that I study with, and no one seems to know. It has to do with some sort of inner feeling, maybe like heartburn?