Posts by AllTimeJeff

Hello to all. Lurkers, debaters, haters, lovers, the lost, the found, and the misplaced. It's been a while, and I wanted to pop in. I am afraid that the only evidence in some respects that I have lived in the decade known as my 30's is on this forum. It's a good exercise for me to look at the past and reflect about how far I have come. (as well as how many intellectual pieces of clothing I have tried on)

This post isn't about Jehovah's Witnesses per se. It's about being a human being.

Imagine that you just didn't know. 1914. The 144,000. Elders. Circuit Overseers. District Conventions. Circuit Assemblies. Kingdom Halls. Etc. (A TON of etc's.....)

Imagine that you didn't get upset at any of it, because you just didn't know about it. Imagine that you are the person you always wanted to be.

And then, the knock on the door. Two teenage girls, in a very friendly, sincere manner, share a little tract and read a scripture. How cute. They are so polite and friendly, dressed so nice. So you take the tract. And then you read it, (which takes 30 seconds and three brain cells) and throw it away.

And you get on with your day. That sounds cool.

Imagine that your life wasn't interrupted. That you go on smoothly, that the wound isn't there, and that instead of a hole in your heart, you have a soul. That you feel like a human being, who can give and receive love, you know why you are here and who you are, you get life, and get death too, and you happily accept that this is at the very least, all you have NOW.

Here's the catch: Most people are just like you. They just weren't JW's at one time. But trust me, they were something else. Maybe you feel that you are WAY far away, but in reality, you are only as far away as you are willing to accept and love yourself. That is the start of everything. The older you get, the more you can see that the shit stirrers and the idiots hate themselves, and need to distract themselves from that pain. (So stop hating yourself, where you come from, and love yourself. You are truly unique, there isn't another YOU in the closet that will replace you. You are your unique thoughts and experiences. Wear it proudly!)

JW's are masters of getting you to think that you should put off your life and your humanity, (so that you can give the balance of it to them). They offer to fill some basic human needs, such as work, purpose, community, and (conditional) acceptance.

In return, you have to give up your first name in most cases (brother or sister will suffice), agree to limit what you will learn about and whose perspectives and opinions you will consider, agree to change with the leadership and not question anything. Keep up with the perscribed activity, and report on yourself in all kinds of ways.

Your reward is community. Your reward is that you belong. You are loved for what you do, not who you really are. So instead of becoming who you are, you do what you can. Just so long as you don't question, debate, and grow.

I bet that was a deal breaker for you somewhere along the way.

I have enjoyed my time debating and arguing about politics, religion, god, theism, atheism, faith, belief, and how badly some football teams suck. (Both the Steelers and the Liverpool Reds) There was a purpose to it, esp if you are leaving and needing to figure things out. I enjoyed the ability I had to disagree with some people, and even tell them I didn't like them. Wow! Never got to tell anyone I despised in the Borg that I hated their guts. That's sort of a rush! And with the ability to do this, I tried on different points of view, got angry, got passionate, got happy, and forgot how to be happy. Overall, I took the time to figure out some things for me.

Among the most difficult for me personally was, 'Will I always be haunted, and feel that my identity is only as a former JW?' Happily, that answer is, I am ME. And I am the only person that needs to be cool with that fact.

One of the neat things about the ex JW community is the fact that on some level, you are motivated to come here and bleed a little bit, bare your soul, share your stories and your pain. And share the triumph as well. To me, you haven't given up on life. Which is awesome! It's a form of growing and learning.

It is impossible to agree all the time with everyone. The point isn't to agree. The point is to become who you are, to discover, and then, hopefully, to LOVE AND LIVE. Also the point is to know and understand that you will have to see where and who you are, and accept that most people will in fact, NOT agree with you or your decisions. (and to know that this is ok too.)

Some days I want to share what I have learned since I have left, (and I might do that) but on the other hand, what's the point? To get you to agree, so I feel validated? To find someone to disagree and debate with so I can mask my pain and justify my existence by finding my polar opposite, my intellectual enemy? To fill the empty time that I have no idea what else to do with by arguing and pointing out how wrong you are?

I would say one thing that is very important; Get it out. Bleed a bit. (But dress and heal the wound, lest it get infected) Get angry, get pissed, empathize, sympathize, love, help, and support. But don't forget to live outside this forum. I can say one thing with certainty: If all you have is this forum right now, please know, I, along with many others, have been there. Just don't stay there. If this forum is all you have, understand that this is a way station, a place to take a break, reorganize, and learn what you want to take with you on the rest of your journey.

I will always come back to this forum on occasion. I am so glad it and a couple of others were there for me. In doing my thing here, I have also learned that it isn't my purpose in life to get too much into the ex JW support scene. Maybe that will change as I continue to grow and come into more ownership of myself. I have a life to live, and people to associate with outside of the internet.

But I will always lurk. I may even meet a few of you in person at some point if that will work.

I haven't given up on JW's, or ex JW's. I am merely beginning to live.

25

Hello Jehovah's Witnesses. I was in class 119 of Gilead in 2005

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

my picture is in the january 1, 2006 watchtower.. why am i telling you this?

consider this my small weekend contribution to the cause of real truth.

any jw who has been one for a while, or a born in, knows the regard that pioneers, elders, bethelites and missionaries have.

AllTimeJeff

00dad, it's in my life story. Gilead is where I allowed myself the freedom to admit that I didn't believe their bullshit.

81

What Gilead Taught ME

by AllTimeJeff in

they mean the leadership.

all of this is code for: one who is not ready to really study and accept how the leadership of jehovah's witnesses use the bible to their own self serving means.

but to be fair, jw's teach that most all of these characters refer to the leadership of jehovah's witnesses, the governing body.

AllTimeJeff

The info in this thread I think cuts to the heart of how the leadership of JWs operates. They look for a certain type, and they hoped I would be that type. Thankfully, I could think enough for myself. (Which is the ultimate JW antidote)

It's a very difficult thing to leave. Because you don't really know about the lie of it all till you climb their company ladder. They store all their rot in the penthouse. (If you follow my meaning)

24

Are there any former missionaries here?

by Newborn in

jw
friends

not sure i've ever read any experiences from former missionaries here (but i'm sure there has been) .

but it would be very interesting to know how you feel about it today.

everything you sacrificed.

AllTimeJeff

Part of it is JW tradition. That shouldn't be over thought.

The other part is that it legitimizes JWs in many parts of the world legally.

7

Lets get real and heal, and give some space to those that are trying to do both

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

i didn't mean being real and trying to heal to rhyme, but essentially, that's why people come here.

and depending on where we are, we need space.

when you leave, one thing you will learn, quickly or otherwise, is what is reality.

AllTimeJeff

I didn't mean being real and trying to heal to rhyme, but essentially, that's why people come here. And depending on where we are, we need space.

When you leave, one thing you will learn, quickly or otherwise, is what is REALity. I feel safe in saying that no JW leaves and just joins polite society, ready made for success with no issues.

Jobs? Dating? Money? Education? (Uh, the god/religion/faith question?) Good luck at first. You are going to stub your toe a little bit at least.

But that's why, if you look at Internet boards like this where former JWs is concerned, that's why you see amazingly angry political and religious arguments. Is it because you already know reality? Or simply trying to work it out from the safety and anonymity of your computer screen?

Reality is a difficult thing to looks at and acknowledge. Some were JWs for very judgmental reasons, others because they thought they could help people, or a mix of the two. Regardless, it sucks to learn that JWs are wrong. It hurts even more to realize that the world really isn't much better. There are lots of people like you, and lots of people whom you hate, or disagree with. And guess what? They aren't going away

That's reality.

And getting into reality, means getting into healing.

Healing yourself is very much a process of getting to know yourself first, and growing yourself as a unique, well rounded person second.

My suggestion, based on a little bit of experience (and hopefully, some hard earned wisdom), is to realize that reality is very colored by where you come from. Be humble and willing to listen to other opinions. Realize that you need to heal as well. Does it take years? Yes it does. But that doesn't mean you have to put off living while you heal. If you have a broken leg, you go to the doctor, put a cast on, learn how to walk on crutches while realizing that for the inconvenience of the cast and crutches, you are also healing, and looking forward to the time when the cast comes off, you can rehab the muscles, and be as strong as ever. Of course, you still work, and you still live with the temporary handicap. But in time, it heals. You heal.

if arguing on these boards is part of the process of discovering who you are and what you stand for, and it helps you heal, then go for it. But don't just leave your life here. And don't STAY angry. Anger is useful in short spurts, if only to get you started. But like a car that only stays in first gear, anger will only get you so far before it burns you out and leave you stuck in the middle of the road.

Theres only one life you control, and that's yours. And there will never be another you. Don't rob the world of the great person you can be. Learn who you really are, and share your gifts with all around you. Trust me, it's worth the effort.

13

Just saying hello

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

i'm still around.

i'm waiting to post till after the election because i don't want to waste my energy arguing politics, and i know i'm still not mature enough to ignore the bullshit.

hello to old friends.

AllTimeJeff

I'm still around. I'm waiting to post till after the election because I don't want to waste my energy arguing politics, and I know I'm still not mature enough to ignore the bullshit.

Hello to old friends.

See y'all soon. :)

12

7 Things you'd like to bring to RECOMMEND to the others

by Terry in

7.. walter becker lyrics" hat too flat ".

hat too flat - walter becker - youtube?

hat too flat - walter becker.

AllTimeJeff

1. The latest South Park on Lance Armstrong/Jesus

2. Avoiding right wing bullshit

3. Joe Scarbrough and Anderson Cooper for fair journalism

4. Colbert rules. Still

5. "Outwitting the Devil "by Napolean Hill

6. Exercise 3 times a week

7. Never ever quitting.

In no particular order........

630

SAD news about OOMPA......

by redredrose in

jw
friends

our friend, oompa, has passed away.

just recieved the news a couple of hours ago, and have almost no details.

it happened today or yesterday, he took his own life.

AllTimeJeff

Life is worth so much more than words. In the grand scheme things, Oompa's legacy will be that, though he was in pain, he acted, and chose not to be a fraud. He left clues here and elsewhere. He was able to help his children, whom I hope will allow their father to live through them just a little.

Oompa reminded me in some ways of my brother, men who were vulnerable because they cared so much. Hurt by a cult they didn't choose to be born into. And ultimately, left us at a time of their own choosing.

R.I.P.

131

Let's Discuss Ray Franz's Books

by Recovery in

i have been repeatedly pleaded with to read the books of ray franz in my short stay on this board.

apparently these are all the all-powerful, wt crushing arguments, that lead so many to leave jw's and become ruthless opposers of god's people.

we can discuss any claims/statements/scriptural arguments presented in either of his books, as long as it somehow proves jehovah's witnesses are not god's people.

AllTimeJeff

By now, I hope we are all used to the occasional troll who does a thread precisely like this to suck on negative energy. There are some JWs who do this. Expect more, not less.

Does anyone read the viewer comments on news articles on sites like CNN? There are tons of sad, vindictive, and hateful cowards who never leave their house, but can't wait to bask in the anonymity of their parents basement to spew crap precisely to look for someone who takes these idiots too seriously.

Count Recovery among that group. A coward with no life who posts garbage in his tighty wightys as bait to validate his pathetic existence.

Comment if you want, but don't be immature and argue with this guy. He's just here to upset you.