Thanks Steve. My life needs to be about other people, and getting outside myself. (so yeah, I go ahead and write yet ANOTHER existential post about me... LOL)
AllTimeJeff
JoinedPosts by AllTimeJeff
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54
Hello, its good to be back, seriously!
by AllTimeJeff infor the last year or so, the opening lyrics to gloria estefan's "always tomorrow" have been howling at me.. i've been alone inside myself, far too long.
never really wanted it that way, but i let it happen..... .
(btw, the message in that song is great for former jw's, if you want to think about the lyrics that way....).
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Don't Ever Forget, the GB only makes Practical Decisions, Not Ones Based On "Faith"
by AllTimeJeff ini have been reading a lot about the downsizing of branch offices and congregations lately.
i know of a few being downsized personally.
this addresses two critical issues that the gb is facing.
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AllTimeJeff
I have been reading a lot about the downsizing of branch offices and congregations lately. I know of a few being downsized personally. This addresses two critical issues that the GB is facing
One is cash flow. A real consequence of dumbing down their flock is, they are usually not formally educated to get work that pays well. As a result, donations are on the decline. Additionally, recent converts (at least anecdotally to me) are not in as well educated demographic, meaning their ability to make substantial donations is limited. People who have higher paying jobs also have better internet access, and some curiosity, so they can see what JW's are about on their own, whereas 20 years ago, that wasn't the case.
The other issue is the drop in elders and MS. We all have seen it. You can't have congregations run with the amount of elders and MS that are available. This will also limit the amount of CO's needed to visit the congregations, so the Borg saves money there as well.
The GB will spin this as using "YHWH;s" extorted/donated resources more wisely. In fact, the GB just wants to make sure they are taken care of. The next 20 years? That's GB 3.0's problem.
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Jamaican Branch Office Closing
by jw07 ini'm from jamaica, montego bay to be exact.
if there are other jamaicans here, feel free to let me know.. with that said, it was announced at our last meeting (a letter was read) that the branch office (bethel) in kingston would be closing, and affairs would soon be directed from us hq.
now the branch office here is a large compound built on acres of prime real estate.
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AllTimeJeff
There is no doubt in my mind that the Borg does not have the cash flow they once did. Branches AND congregations are being downsized purely for cash flow. The property is then sold, and where do you think the profits for the sales go?
I know of several congregations lately that are being merged into larger ones, and the KH's are being sold. The money will go to Bethel. This is purely an economic move.
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Just got off the phone with my dad!
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had this conversion with my dad earlier today, hes an elder...both my parents were laid off during the recession, however, they saved and lived a decent life.
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AllTimeJeff
Selfishly, I saw several decade vested Bethlites being shown the door in 2005, and that absolutely accelerated my desire to leave. I wasn't going to be in Africa for 10 years, get Malaria, then get sent home because I wasn't healthy with no savings or skills. It seemed like every so often, a GB at morning worship would comment about how those "who get a new "assignment" (code for, being kicked out of Bethel into a local congregation) need to trust in Jehovah....
What struck me most was the sheer terror of the old timers not in the any of the 5 major departments and with no skills. Particularly the sisters, who had been there all their lives, and were now seeing for the first time how they were really viewed in the Borg's eyes. Just pure anxiety.
Glad your dad is being realistic!
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Hello, its good to be back, seriously!
by AllTimeJeff infor the last year or so, the opening lyrics to gloria estefan's "always tomorrow" have been howling at me.. i've been alone inside myself, far too long.
never really wanted it that way, but i let it happen..... .
(btw, the message in that song is great for former jw's, if you want to think about the lyrics that way....).
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AllTimeJeff
Billy, it seems that the higher up you go on the JW company ladder, the more you have to pretend and lie to stay there. I think elders and FT preachers have a real challenge on that score when they leave. I admire those that got DF'd for doing things and being true to themselves. They are WAY ahead of me.
The problem is, me being me is tantamount to being a 5 year old who has no tact or grace. So rather than expose people to that immature, under developed part of my personality, I pretend.
Maybe I am not as far away as I think, but I am tired of pretending to be above it all. I was clueless about my haughtiness.
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The elders are calling again.
by dazed but not confused inan elder called and left me a voicemail today.
he wants me to call him back at my convenience.
lol.. its been almost 2 years since he last tried to contact me.
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AllTimeJeff
Ha. Have fun with it. I wish I did. I had elders who thought I went off the deep end refuse to believe it. It took them over a month to announce my resignation.
It only matters to communicate with them if you want to know where you stand, and if the deed was finally done. If it doesn't matter, I would wear a Santa outfit every evening this month just in case they come by.
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Hello, its good to be back, seriously!
by AllTimeJeff infor the last year or so, the opening lyrics to gloria estefan's "always tomorrow" have been howling at me.. i've been alone inside myself, far too long.
never really wanted it that way, but i let it happen..... .
(btw, the message in that song is great for former jw's, if you want to think about the lyrics that way....).
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AllTimeJeff
For the last year or so, the opening lyrics to Gloria Estefan's "Always Tomorrow" have been howling at me.
I've been alone inside myself, far too long
Never really wanted it that way, but I let it happen.....(Btw, the message in that song is great for former JW's, if you want to think about the lyrics that way....)
Everyone who is, or was, a JW is so different. That might sound like such an odd thing to say, but I sense for many first leaving, that is a huge light bulb moment. Think about it: the word and concept was always "UNITY". (the culty JW version of the word that is)
It's hard to accept your own uniqueness when uniqueness is the enemy. I never had to look for people "like me", because I never had to. I could go into any KH, and have 100 ready made, cookie cutter friends, all with plastic smiles, and the ability to go to dinner and talk about the shared experiences of preaching, congregations, and the "friends".
That of course, is something that the leadership of JW's have setup "organizationally", and preach about all the time. It is why it can be so hard to leave.
So I left, blew up the bridge. I loved my friends, loved my family, and never replaced them. The only way I knew was by figuritavely cutting my arm off that was sandwiched between a rock and a hard place. It's a scar that hurts still.
And to survive those lonely years, I fought! I argued. (here esp, behind the warm anonymity of a keyboard and wifi connection) Because to survive, sometimes, to paraphrase Brother Bon Jovi "You live for the fight when that's all that you got!"
Lately, I have realized a few things. I don't need to be perfect, or pretend I have all the answers (which I was trained all my life that I really did have ALL the answers) And I don't need to fight anymore.
Here is another thing, I don't have friends. I never knew how to make real friends because I never ever talked with anyone about what I really thought and felt. That is pretty damn screwy. But, I don't know how. I need to change that. I was raised to be so pretentious and above it all, that my lack of humility has totally screwed me in life.
I am done "leaving" and I am done "recovering". I accept where I came from now, and the damage that has been done. I can't change it, and I can only move on if I admit that I am weak and need to grow.
So, I am back. I just want to be a human being who happened to be born in to a JW family and did all things within the group before I woke up and left. It's cool to be here again.
I am here this time to talk, chat, jump in appropriately on JW issues that I want to speak up on, and otherwise, not debate. I am sick of arguing anonymously, when there is no way I would ever be so opinionated face to face. (That sucks to know like you wouldn't believe. )
In time, I would like to meet a few of you when life allows. If we don't get that chance to meet, please know that my heart is with everyone who is stuck in, leaving, and have left. It's not easy.
But I don't want to waste anymore time pretending. I am a pretty screwed up guy, who is getting better, but not there yet. I have over 30 years invested in pretending. I won't do that anymore. And I won't hide. Time is all we have, and it is going in one direction, so I don't want to miss anything I don't have to anymore.
There are a lot of success stories on JWN, and other former JW's that I have met, who have created a new life. My big accomplishment so far has been leaving. But I have hid, and I want to stop hiding. I really want to be like most of you here, who have been brave enough to admit what I haven't been able to admit, that I have been hurt, and I need to heal.
Also, I need a lot of you, even if I don't know how to say it or act it.
Part of healing is learning to walk again. I love my song lyrics, so I leave you with Dave Grohl. I am a fighter, who's trying to learn a different method of living other than to fight.
I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin? -
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Another new book: Jehovah's Witnesses - AN EXPOSE, written by a former elder and retired veteran United Airlines pilot
by AndersonsInfo ina comprehensive new book:.
"the good... the bad... the deceptive.... and worse!
an expose".
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AllTimeJeff
This cult attracts the worst in people. It strangles the weak and inflates those with some kind of self esteem and self confidence with stupid visions of grandeur. I don't care about the author, so if he was a jerk, but wrote a correct expose on the cult he used to be in, that isn't a bad thing.
Maybe his book will serve some good, regardless of how much of a jerk he might have been.
I lived the book, so I don't need to read this.
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Goodbye and Thank You Jw Net (Last Post)
by Brother Mike ini would like to thank everyone for the discussions that we've all had.
after all of them i have realized, all of you have made me realized that after all of the stuff i have been through, i just need a good friend.
and regardless of how hostile our discussion could get i have felt that you have all shared something with me that have helped me.
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AllTimeJeff
DD, for a long time, I wanted to moderate the arguments that eventually ensued here. Waste of time. No one can really expect people who have been traumatized and hurt by the Borg to not lash out, and I certainly don't expect someone who comes on here with doubts to just suddenly run away from the Borg.
The mind is our greatest ally, and greatest enemy. To change ones thinking is the hardest thing to do, that is why JW's are still around. The leadership knows to feed the mind of their flock with garbage at a rapid rate, and they will stay, either because they want to, or because of the fatigue at the thought of leaving.
It is what it is.
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#3 talk tonight
by wallsofjericho inanyone else have a #3 talk tonight?
i wrote a talk but i don't like it.. anyone have one written they wanna post?
i'll show you mine if you show me yours!
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AllTimeJeff
Outline for 5 minute #3 talk. (are they still 5 minutes? lol)
Intro:
This talk will eventually be about supporting and never questioning the leadership of the Governing Body, Bethel Elders, DO's, CO's, the local BOE, and the occasional elders wife whose second car is a broom
Body of Talk
Misapplication of Scriptures that create red herrings and strawman arguments to support and never question the leadership of the Governing Body, Bethel Elders, DO's, CO's, the local BOE, and the occasional elders wife whose second car is a broom
Conclusion
Everyone should support and never question the leadership of the Governing Body, Bethel Elders, DO's, CO's, the local BOE, and the occasional elders wife whose second car is a broom
I hope that helps!