AllTimeJeff

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Posts by AllTimeJeff

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  33

  besty - anybody remember me

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just checkin in - all good.

  px.

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  AllTimeJeff

  thanks for all the kind words- yes i will come back and be present ...
  what did I miss?

  Well, uh, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the generation that saw 1914? They did in fact, actually die. #darkjwhumor

  Great to see you!
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  18

  How do you deal with "toppers"? [one upmanship]

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when in conversion, you sometimes get carried away and the talk becomes all about you.. then, you remember you're in a conversation, say you're sorry, and allow the other person to talk.

  she goes on about what's happening in her life, you listen and ask some questions.

  she tells you more and then shifts the dialogue back to you.

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  AllTimeJeff

  I always appreciate it when a person lets me know sooner rather than later that they don't belong in my inner circle, and won't be mailed any invites. ;)
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  49

  How Many People Here Still Believe In “God”?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  because of this site i realized that there were many people who were active jehovah’s witnesses really didn’t believe in god at all.

  i’m curious how many people believe in god?

  i’m not interested in debating why you shouldn’t have a belief in a god or should.

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  AllTimeJeff

  I have learned that this topic is not two dimensional. For me, it's an ongoing journey, but no, I don't go to church and do not talk to or pray to a specific entity. I do explore "spirituality" in its many aspects. I do my own thing. I'll never do group think again as a condition of "worship", whatever you'd like that word to mean.
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  29

  Has Watchtower taken the joy out of 'the good news of the kingdom'

  by UnshackleTheChains in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i ask this question for the following reason.

  i was sitting at the kingdom hall thinking about all the rules, procedures, policies, teachings that each member must follow ......or else!.

  at the watchtower study we are reminded of the paradise earth where we will all be the same and happy.

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  AllTimeJeff

  I would strongly suggest that nostalgia isn't the way to go. I do understand that the GB 2.0 is even more cold than the original version, but it wasn't a cake walk either. You still had no freedom of thought or speech, and had to fake it to make it at all if you had a mind of your own.

  Joy was never something any version of the Governing Body was about imo. And yes, it's even worse now, but it was never good before.
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  32

  Welcome to all the newbies and lurkers that have joined this forum lately.

  by smiddy3 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i`m sure you have all noticed the ever increasing number of newbies and lurkers who have visited this site over the past months and i am sure we could all collectively welcome them to this site and support them on learning the ttatt .

  and helping them to navigate how they can look up older publications and quotes of the wtb&ts that they would rather remain hidden.. we all know jehovah`s witnesses /governing body never apologizes for mistakes they make they just don`t mention them anymore and explain it away as new light from god.. actually a big cop out.. welcome to all you who are new to this site .. every day their seems to be someone new posting which is great .. and if this is any indication of what is happening in all other ex jw sites the wtb&ts are in deep trouble .

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  AllTimeJeff

  Hello to all the newbies. You've got a lot of people who've been through everything here. Many great people and stories.

  As a former Gilead missionary, I saw the rot directly. I have no desire to bring down this cult, I personally believe that it will burn out on its own, but what I saw while going through the Gilead at Bethel was the final straw. I have seen first hand the damage done to people, and how much the Governing Body will put their financial considerations over the people. (Pedophile stories like Candace Conti are just the tip of the iceburg.)

  As Morpheus told Neo, if you choose the red pill, the only thing to be offered is the truth. THE REAL TRUTH, NOT THE BULLSH*T THE GB RAMS DOWN YOUR THROAT. Hopefully you'll find yourself as much as you find out the real truth about the Borg. As I like to say, live well and become who you can become, it's the best revenge against the Governing Body.
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  25

  Thanks For being helpful

  by Jrjw in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  to the person who reported me to the elders from here - thank you for making me be able to leave the organisation a whole lot easier and sooner than i'd planned.

  you did me a huge favour 😊.

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  AllTimeJeff

  I had always been fearful when planning my exit. When it happened, I freaked out for about 3 days or so. That was pure hell. When I went to the other side, and the deed was done, I had a smile no one could wipe off of my face for two straight days. Just total relief.

  Your mileage may vary, but don't be in fear of these pricks. I have learned the hard way how much fear was deep baked into the old me. That's ultimately how they roll. Once you lose your "godly" fear of these old twerps in the GB, you have the rest of your life to mold into what you can create it.

  Live well, it's, the biggest f*ck you to the borg.
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  15

  This is my story

  by paradiseseeker in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've already posted in this forum but i haven't told you my story.

  nowadays i'm a pimo in my late 20s from spain.. i was born in the cult and i can say that during my whole childhood and most of my teenage years i believed in this.

  however, i felt that here was something wrong with me, as i wasn't comfortable telling people i was jw, talking about jw stuff, nor did i feel "excited" and "grateful" whenever a watchtower publication told me that i should.

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  AllTimeJeff

  Hi there. What you are doing is very brave, and what speaks to me is your plan to leave, understanding that is the only way to become your whole self. While I know many who choose the fade, I think if you are ever going to personally fulfill your potential, leaving is the best way to become who you really can be.

  But it's not always the happiest path, especially at first. When I left, I left all my family and friends behind and essentially started over with no one, outside of internet boards, which I really appreciated. Sounds like you have friends outside. To me that is a huge key. I chose a bit of isolation, not knowing at first how to make friends, or be a friend. That will always be my #1 piece of advice to anyone, create a support network for yourself (outside of this board ;) as soon as possible. This place is such a huge part of my recovery, but it doesn't replace the excellent help real life interactions with in person friends can have.

  My last thought is this, choose to be happy in spite of what has happened. By all means heal, but also forgive and let go of the past. Take the good and don't be bitter. Best wishes!
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  49

  My 71st Birthday Confessional

  by TerryWalstrom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was born january 15, 1947in mt.

  carmel hospital, detroit, michigan.. within six months of my birth, my mother would bundle her baby boy into a blanket and board an american airlines propeller-driven plane--in effect, leaving my father behind--to return to her hometown, ft. worth, texas.. my dad had an excellent job working for cadillac as an inspector.

  it was a union job.

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  AllTimeJeff

  As always, well said. I can relate to the over compensation.
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  30

  Unprivileged

  by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  something just dawned on me today as i processed my assimilation into the real world (thanks to our new poster, @jester, giving me a major throwback to my first post).. when you're a jehovah's witness, you really are in some sort of la la land.

  things which are perfectly normal are acts of eating from the table of the demons.

  things which are horribly grotesque and extremely unjust are branded as "righteousness".

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  AllTimeJeff

  The nomenclature of JW's is unique to their own. How do you reframe work? Call it a privilege. How do you stifle a voice? Call them comments, then make that a privilege.

  I like this post. I personally so was ambitious at my arrogant JW peak that I viewed each "privilege" as something to gain and conquer, and I rated myself based on the age I achieved them. I had to be a young MS, then Elder. (accomplished) Mic Handler since I was 9. (insert sort of not really funny, but funny, punch line here). Whatever it was, to some JW's like me before my awakening, a privilege was a notch on the JW bedpost.

  The ultimate privilege? Become one of the anointed. Who's gonna check you on that? Just play the game, make sure you have the long con going on, be in the traveling work or missionary for 20 years, make sure you network so you can kiss some GB @$$, and then suddenly, YHWH picks you. Next stop, GB 2.0 (or is it 3.0 soon???)
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  5

  Healing

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  among the many ways that jehovahs witnesses leadership strangle a person is primarily through the taking of your identity.

  for cults and high control groups, of course this is how it's done.

  but once you leave, finding out who you really are, and living a life of authenticity is usually quite challenging.. i have learned since my exit in 2006 that it is healthy to learn about who you are.

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  AllTimeJeff

  Among the many ways that Jehovahs Witnesses leadership strangle a person is primarily through the taking of your identity. For cults and high control groups, of course this is how it's done. But once you leave, finding out who you really are, and living a life of authenticity is usually quite challenging.

  I have learned since my exit in 2006 that it is healthy to learn about who YOU are. In fact, I wish I had someone who would have told me this when I left. I didn't. I was scared, just wanting to survive, not wanting to give into the anger I felt, not wanting to make self destructive decisions, so I just worked for the approval of my boss, and licked my wounds for a while. I was never going to be good enough, so at first, I didn't put myself out there. Lately, I am now able to do this.

  Of course, that isn't the most charitable way to view and treat myself. And that is the point. I was NEVER going to be good enough without the borg. Wasn't that the point? I was imperfect, a sinner, now hanging out with worldly, potentially demonized people. (I know, all of this is eye roll inducing, except that when you leave, the nomenclature stays with you. The words, the furrowed eyebrows, the self-righteous "thank god I am here instead of being them" bullshit)

  These days, I don't care about the ending of Jehovah's Witnesses, because they, like other high control groups (or perhaps groups in general?) tend to prey on our need to belong. Whatever the next religion that is like JW's, or Scientologists, or whomever, the one thing that they will attract are people who are in need of belonging, who don't know themselves, and aren't ready to think or make decisions for themselves... (and it is for that very reason why JW's baptizing of teenagers is disgusting and reprehensible...) So why not just claim who you are?

  What I do care about now is that I help people just be themselves, and understand it isn't my job to change anyone. I am not talking about having political or religious viewpoints that could potentially hurt someone. I am talking about embracing who you are, what you think, and not taking shit from anyone else.

  It's ironic that in the United States, the country I live in, we talk a great game about rugged individuality and free speech, only to seemingly spend most of our waking hours mocking or ridiculing others for doing the same, instead of celebrating the differences. But if you truly own yourself, that won't ever matter.

  I have learned that you are finally on the path to healing when you finally embrace who you are, be vulnerable, and know that it is ok to be just you. That was the only thing JW's had over you, because you were never (First name, Last name) You were always (Brother/Sister, Last name) When your name really means that you are you, you win. They lose. But that does take time and work.

  From there, you get to decide politics, spirituality, and all that other stuff. But at least you are doing it for you, and not for the approval of a group, family, or frankly, anyone else.

  Oh and don't forget that true love IS unconditional. There are friends you can make that will like you, will love you, and may totally disagree with 75% of the bullshit you spew. But they're your friends anyway. That is real love. Those are real people. They accept who you are, just like you do them. Anything less than that, isn't worthy of the real you, lurking inside.

  Happy healing!