Dear Yvonne,
Thank you for your concern. I agree with everyone on everything they say. However, it seems to me that we are all trying to answer your question without knowing the full story. Of course, it is private, and we should all respect this. I want to clear something up. The Elder's position is the lowest in the congregation. That means he is not just a person who goes to the meetings, but a servant of someone who goes to the meetings. He is not just a publisher, but he is a servant of a publisher. He is not just a ministerial servant, but a servant of a ministerial servant. That makes him a servant of a servant of a servant who serves the whole gathering. It also means that he has responsibilities to the Christian congregation.
The truth is very attractive for many reasons. To mention a few, it gives us the confident hope of everlasting life on this Earth that will be restored to a paradise where we will live alongside other truly happy people.
My first interest in the truth was a girl, and so I started to study. After a while, I realised that we both had different priorities. In fact, I became more active in the truth than she was. That wasn’t the only difference in our priorities. After a little while of studying, I found powerful reasons for believing in the truth about Jehovah God. My happiness didn’t depend on her anymore, and I was able to focus more. Jehovah’s holy spirit was helping me find happiness without a partner before I found it with a partner. One of the most attractive things about another person is if they can be happy whether you are there are not.
In the new system where we will live forever and be truly happy, Jehovah will make sure that all negative things will not come up into the heart. You may feel in love with him now, and those are your own personal feelings, but for the sake of his happiness and yours, it would be a good idea to pursue someone who isn’t married. I would suggest that you had a Bible study soon with a nice spiritual sister. After that, I’m sure you will have convinced yourself of 3 things. #1 that you will find true happiness even in this system of things without him (with someone else). #2 that going out with him could break up his family, would brake his heart, his wife’s heart, his kid’s hearts and because you will see how unhappy he is due to this, it will break your heart. Personally, I don’t want to see anyone unhappy whether or not they are in the truth. And #3 that respecting his position as a shepherd and servant of the Christian flock by choosing this alternative route to true happiness will give you the reason why this will be the best decision you have made so far.
I believe that anyone who in their heart really wants to find true happiness will be given the opportunity whether it is by Jehovah’s Witnesses informing them of things or when there is a resurrection of certain people (who it speaks about in the Bible) who are not in the truth, but will be given a chance to get to know God. It is up to them what they want to choose.
Spiritual people have such love for others that to someone who hasn’t experienced the full extent of the love from the Christian congregation, it may seem as though they have deeper feelings than platonic. This isn’t always the case. However, it is dangerous what he is doing, but he might be feeling under control enough to have a coffee with you and talk about God’s word. He might talk about God’s word so it helps him refrain from falling for you while he is imparting beautiful information about the Bible to you, but most importantly, he is trying to help you gain a more insightful knowledge of the inspired word of God (the Bible).
As I said, I don’t know the whole story, but all I can say about that is I had an experience once where there was this girl who contacted me and she wanted to know more about the Bible. There wasn’t enough time to find a sister to meet with her, and because she lived so far away and was coming down to the city the next day (to go to the museums - being a student), I decided to meet her for lunch. We were in a restaurant and we were talking about the wonderful things in the Bible that if applied would make us stronger people. After this introduction, I encouraged her to study the Bible with a sister who lived closer to her, but her answer was, ‘If she needed to know anything, she would ask me’. Now, she may have thought that saying something like that would be flattering to me (and it was), but it also meant that she wasn’t going to start a Bible study, because for various reasons, I wasn’t going to be able to study with her.
We are encouraged to study with someone of the same gender for the same reason why they have all-girl schools and all-boy schools where the examination marks are generally much higher (less distraction - fact). Also, for any Christian, it would be irresponsible for us to put ourselves in a situation where we know we are going to be ‘lead into temptation’, of which a private home Bible study between a male and a female is one.
You don’t have to answer this question to anyone but yourself, but have you asked him to help you find someone who would be able to start a study with you? He is quite capable of finding you someone within a few days (if not a few hours). This would show him that you have a ‘great’ respect for him and will take the pressure off him (trust me, there is pressure). Also, if you were to go to the same congregation as him, you would meet all sorts of lovely people who will become your friends and who don’t only talk about the Bible. You might even find someone who you are more attracted to (who is single) and you would still be able to talk to ‘him’. It is a matter of your conscience. Please take to heart the fact that there are so many wonderful, spiritual, caring, wise and loving people that you are really spoilt for choice. It takes time to develop a relationship, but by the time you develop a relationship with Jehovah God (which may not take so long), you will have met the perfect guy for you! Just think of it. You could be in a wonderful loving relationship with a guy who you will be able live forever with on a paradise Earth and you won’t have to worry about making someone unhappy.
To answer your question, no, he is not sinning, but please do the right thing before it is too late. Too late could be tomorrow.
May Jehovah, the almighty God bless your understanding of my intentions through these words and help you and the brother have a settled heart in this matter.
With warmest wishes,
ElderFlower
