Elders_Kid

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Posts by Elders_Kid

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  58

  Shall we play a game?

  by Valis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  shall we play a game?

  i was thinking this might be funny and perhaps a bit of mental exercise...try to create the longest sentence you can using only usernames....i'll try first... wild turkey balanced lyineyes' fire dragon betweenworlds waiting elsewhere.. sincerely,.

  district overbeer

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  Elders_Kid

  lol @ xena...

  they ran over the Elders_Kid and his animal

  EK
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  12

  Isn't It Ironic

  by kelpie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reading the post on our standing within the congregation http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=40040&site=3&page=3 and no matter what part of the world we live in, its always the same thing.. it is always the elders kids that get away with murder while the ones that are really trying to do the right thing always get blamed for it.. when i would mention this to my mum she would always reply with, satan has already got them.

  he is trying to get you.. if you are getting persecuted.. it means you are doing the right thing.. does that sound strange to anyone other then me?.

  kelps

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  Elders_Kid

  It is always the Elders kids that get away with murder while the ones that are really trying to do the right thing always get blamed for it.

  I beg to differ. I was told in by my judicial committe that I didn't commit any disfellowshipping offenses, but that I had established a pattern of unrepentance. I believe that elders kids are held to a higher standard than the rest of the congregation, adults included.

  You are told that anything you do will reflect on your family, and especially, your father's position as elder.

  I can't count all the times that I was told this, and told by my father how embarassing it is to have to deal with his son getting into trouble. It seems that they never learn, and now that I have no contact with any of my JW family (their choice, not mine), it pains me to see that they are forced to choose a religion, or more specifically their status within the religion, over family.

  EK
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  8

  Pronounce this!

  by Yerusalyim in

  1. social
  2. humour

  prounounce each letter as a letter and each word as it sounds slowly several times.

  i m wee todd it.

  i m sofa king wee todd it.

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  Elders_Kid

  I M Sofa King Wee Todd It

  You said it, not me.

  EK
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  6

  HI all you witness teens

  by cheese in

  1. social
  2. family

  hi how are you

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  Elders_Kid

  Hi. I am not a witness, and I am not a teen.

  Have a nice day.

  EK
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  30

  Are There Any Hot Winess Girls Out There?

  by CaliGuy in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  im 16 and i live in san diego and i'm jus wonderin where the girls are!

  ?

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  Elders_Kid

  If you happen to find a decent looking JW girl, you will also find that she also wears a titanium chastity belt that can never be removed. So much for taking it for a test drive before you buy it.

  Besides, who would want to marry somebody who they are currently calling "sister" anyway?

  EK
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  4

  The Caffeine Double-Standard

  by CaptainSchmideo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  reading an earlier post about the caffeine "intervention" reminded me of this: remember lynn newton's online glossary of "theocratese"?

  i remember this entry under "coffee" coffeestimulating hot black liquid, consumed in great quantity by most hard-working christians in the usa; the drug of choice for most any occasion.

  one co calls it ``the elixer of life''.

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  Elders_Kid

  My dad used to drink coffee all the time, I'm quite sure that he was addicted. He would go out of his way to make sure that he had a cup of coffee.

  ...an elder who said that we wouldn't be eating meat in the new system, because it wasn't good for you.

  Another funny double standard. My dad would say "I'm gonna walk into the paradise with a steak hanging from my mouth". Seems that he didn't think it would be right to take away meat.

  I think it is wrong how there can be so many double standards in the religion. It hurts so many people, and only those with high ranking positions can get away with it.

  EK
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  31

  Awake 8th Nov Picture

  by why144000 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  could someone please have a look and perhaps post a picture from the nov 8th awake.

  i have been told that the picture was taken during a convention and a young person is giving the 'finger' at the time the photo was snapped.

  i do not have access to the mag but it would be interesting to see if something like that was allowed to slip through.

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  Elders_Kid

  I think that the index finger may have been "edited" into the picture. If you look at at, it appears to be at an unnatural angle, and the size is out of proportion to the hand.

  Another individual in this picture that I find interesting is the man with his back to the camera, with the tan shirt on sitting next to the pole... is he sleeping? I know that I would be.

  Why aren't any of the children dressed up in their pretty little suits and ties? I had to wear one of those damn ties when I was a small child, they get to wear sweat-shirts and jeans.

  EK
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  19

  Three Drunk Women...

  by Matty in

  1. social
  2. humour

  three drunk women had a very late night drinking session.

  they left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways.

  the next day, they all met and compared notes about who was the most drunk the night before.

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  Elders_Kid

  A man was having problems with premature ejaculation, so he went to see his doctor. The doctor suggested that the man could solve his problem by startling himself whenever he thought that he was going to ejaculate. S o, the man went directly to a sporting goods store and bought a starter pistol. Then he went home to try the doctor's advice.

  When he got home, he found his wife waiting for him on their bed... naked! So he ripped off his clothes and began making love with her. Eventually, they wound up in the "69" position and then the man felt an enormous urge to ejaculate, so he cranked off a few shots with his new starter pistol.

  They next day, he went back to the doctor and reported his results. He said, "It didn't work out for me, Doc!
  When I fired the pistol, my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
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  63

  Are you a cat or dog person? (fluff)

  by In_between_days in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok, im bored - really bored.

  this is my favorate breed of dog................ whats yours?.

  also, are you a cat or a dog person?

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  Elders_Kid

  For all of you dog lovers out there, this is for you.........

  Click on the link, and watch the show.

  http://wtv-zone.com/JBond/chowmein.swf

  Sorry if I have offended any cat lovers, but this was just too funny!!!

  EK
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  55

  Things JWs don't say

  by WildTurkey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lets post somethings as a dub you dont say:.

  luck, you dont say party, its a get together.

  you dont go to church, its a hall

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  Elders_Kid

  Once while in service I made a comment about using the magazines as coasters. I said that I couldn't understand why a person wouldn't want to accept them at the door, they would probably be able to soak up at least a half a cup of coffee. Funny thing is that I was the only one laughing.

  EK