does anyone know if this strategy will work to avoid being disfellowshipped?
if one moves their card from one hall to another before a "wrongdoing" becomes public - and then refuses to meet with the elders at the new hall - will they simply be able to fade away without being disfellowshipped.
i had heard that if you refuse to meet with the elders, they generally will not df you - in order to avoid possible legal issues.
They don't give you your cards anymore.
You are suposed to contact the secretary of your new congregation and he will call the secretary of the old congregation and request they mail your cards out.
There have been ex-Witnesses that play the part of a new congregation secretary and get your cards sent to them.
If a wrongful act is to be imminently discovered, and you live within traveling distance to your old hall, they will likely just send it back to them for a JC.
brief background:.
i am a 3rd gen witness.
several of her friends are already baptized.
Did you ask her why?
She might have a crush on a Witness boy and feels that being an unbaptized publisher might be a way of catching his attention.
Long shot, but I know of many who considered that and baptism for precisely that reason.
ages like 20-25 or younger.i mean damn,a 21 year old guy in my congo got baptised a couple weeks back and now his in a relationship with a jw gal and their getting married soon.any thoughts?.
Sex
okay, online, many jws use the line that if you have a question about a ford, you wouldn't go to a toyota dealer.
they use this to say "only jehovah's witnesses can answer questions about jws.".
i can swear that there is some version of this statement in a watchtower publication.
Absolutely horrible example.
If you visit Toyota's Website you will find nothing about the massive recall for sticking accellerators
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eajdq_sgdk.
they need some new dna introduced into their very closely related gene pool.
i don't think many from the outside world are converting leaving a very narrow gene pool.. perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea if some of these youths got pregnant durring rumspringa(amish wilding durring youth) thus killing to birds with one stone.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/rumspringa.
When the show "Breaking Amish" came out I noticed a fair number of those interviewed were adopted.
I researched it and discovered that adoption among the Amish is quite common for the very reason of increasing the genetic diversity.
attraction isn't the glue that holds couples together, and there have even been scientific polls and studies taken on this.
that initial attraction *typically* doesn't last more than a few months.
though attraction keeps you interested long enough to get to know someone and build a relationship with him/her.. but my question is this, how long does the attraction lasts in new couples, before they get bored with each-other?..
Personally, I met my wife when I was 18. We hit it off and I was attracted to her, but she was dating someone else at the time. We did form a strong friendship and I think that is one basis for a healthy marriage.
By being friends first, we got to see each other as we really are. Not pretending to appear more desirable as dating often does. We didn't get married until much later but have been happily married for 14 years. After the burning fire of initial physical attraction wanes, having a solid friendship beneath it will go far.
My only other suggestions would be communication and compromise. Talk about everything and where conflict arises, pick a solution that is beneficial for both of you.
1 - reconsider your existence - there might be a reason why the most effective resources to date have been solo efforts.
2 - recognize that even well-intentioned organizations will firstly seek self-preservation.
3 - be aware that egos and emotional stupidity have torn apart much grander edifices than aawa.
I don’t know anyone who’s more in people’s face than me when the need arises. If Cedar’s style puts you off then my recommendation is to ignore his style and focus on what he gets done when he gets it done.
Otherwise, a few direct and respectful exchanges of communications with Cedars will quickly remove the idea that Cedars lacks empathy, and particularly for folks in the JW and ex-JW community.
Cedars is a good hearted man. He wants to do good and he will do good. More than most understand, he feels the pains and fears typical to people who realize Watchtower has been using them and posturing to control them from day one.
I think this is the disconnect people are experiencing. Saying someone has empathy is one thing, but if the person isn't demonstrating empathy, it makes it difficult to accept.
People were really hurt by what occured.
It is like AAWA accidently ran over somone with a car then got out and started arguing with the person that they aren't really hurt and that he didn't run them over.
That's not empathy, it's rather a dick move.
If you hurt someone, either directly or indirectly, try to make ammends. Immediately deleting the Facebook group so others didn't get hurt and appologizing for what occured would have diffused just about all drama related to it. I'm sure even people that were outed would have been hurt, but realized it was an accident.
You say he is a very empathetic person, he needs to start showing it to everyone, not just you.
1 - reconsider your existence - there might be a reason why the most effective resources to date have been solo efforts.
2 - recognize that even well-intentioned organizations will firstly seek self-preservation.
3 - be aware that egos and emotional stupidity have torn apart much grander edifices than aawa.
I don't doubt that Cedars is a good person, I just feel that he needs more empathy for the group that he wants to help.
From reviewing his website, he has a very much "in your face" style. It works well for an expose but doesn't work well for someone recovering from abuse of a high control organization.
In regard for the name AAWA the post was made in their FAQ that if you don't like the name, you are a Watchtower sympathizer. As well as for the issue with Facebook, for people who were outed, being told that they weren't is just insulting.
There does seem to be an escalating trend to demonize all things that Cedars has done which I don't agree with. Like Martin highlighted, he is a good person. However he is not an empathetic person and that is really hurting his cause right now.
To help victims of abuse you need empathy to understand that every person experienced it differently. Some walked out with their head held high, others remain in for sake of maintaining a relationship with their family, others may be fragmented emotionally from physical or mental abuse.
However, I would say that all ex-Witnesses bristle at being told what to think and that is the biggest problem that Cedars is falling into now. He has a narrow view of what has occured and seems unwilling to budge from it. Whether accurate or not, it seems Cedars was more concerned that people accept his view rather than turn around and take a look at it from someone else's shoes.
In order to gain public acceptance, an organization like AAWA needs to have empathy and humility. With Cedars as the spokesperson, I don't feel those qualities are being demonstrated. I think there are a great many people that would love to support what AAWA stands for, but they want to feel that they are being heard. Even if the answer is no, many people will accept it if they feel it was at least considered.
The issues at hand do not feel like they were considered, they appear to be dismissed and I think that is generating a lot of ill will. Based on the dialog growing on both sides, it appears the message has switched off the Watchtower and it is more Anti-JWN and Anti-Cedars. It can change, but to do so required desire for change.
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Wait, who is ruling heaven now?
i guess we're persona non grata now.
take a look at what i found on facebook:.
we're firing up the grill again!
Appologies don't exist on the internet.
There is a black hole that swallows them up before they can ever reach their destination.
