J-ex-W

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Posts by J-ex-W

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  47

  OutKasted ;-P

  by SpaWn of MeDusa in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!

  my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.

  i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .

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  J-ex-W

  ((((((( HUGS, SpaWn )))))))

  Your presence here is welcomed!
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  40

  i'm still alive...

  by thebiggestlie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i want to thank all of you for all your thoughtful pms.

  i'll respond to them in time but can't at the moment.

  i wanted to just check in and let you know that i'm doing relatively ok. the confrontation with my parents was a bit sticky.

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  J-ex-W

  ((((((((((( thebiggestlie ))))))))))))

  Glad you made it back here. It will be rough going like that, but survival matters too. At least you know you WILL have a future away from that direct influence bearing down on you so hard.

  Have you made any plans for college or some such thing? Now would be a good time to start checking into state schools (less expensive). The more financially secure you set yourself up to be down the road, the less likelihood you'll find yourself in this same position later on (depending on them and swallowing who you ARE), as an adult. Think about not just how soon you'll be able to get out from under, but how to best KEEP out from under, thereafter.
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  18

  Update: Discussion with my wife last night

  by Paralipomenon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those not familiar, i faded from the organization many years ago and my wife hasn't been to any meetings or service in about 5-6 years either.

  though she insists she's still a jw so we don't celebrate holidays and the children aren't allowed to participate in holiday activities at school.

  i was content for many years to just let her do her own thing, but when the children started going to school i noticed how confusing it was for them.

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  J-ex-W

  Wonderful news, Para! It always warms my heart to hear of couples 'doing it right'--working out compromises and win-win situations, to the best each is able. You both deserve kudos for that!
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  17

  You don't want your kids to die, do you??

  by TJ - iAmCleared2Land in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  'if not, you better get them out to preach six hours a day during summer break!!'.

  this is my first post here... i stopped associating a just about a year ago, serving as an elder (wt conductor) up until i stopped going.

  multi-generational jw, baptized 1984, pioneered, all that stuff.

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  J-ex-W

  Welcome, TJ. Thank you for sharing.
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  24

  I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

  by spidey9322 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  much to my surprise when i found this site...i noticed that many have experienced the same typr of humiliation, asn despaid as i have throughout my 36 years on this earth.

  in reading some of these stories (even after being out of the truth) for over 20 years...it still brings chills to my spine about how i was treated.

  where do i begin?

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  J-ex-W

  spidey------- Welcome!! Look forward to hearing more from you.
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  52

  The Moment You Have All Been Waiting for Has Arrived:

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please congratulate me on my posting prowess - have reached my 4000 post mark!.

  cakes all round!

  .

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  J-ex-W

  Congrat, Scrumpet!! Just kidding---could resist, because of the way the two words run together when you say them.

  Congrats for real!!

  J-ex-W
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  8

  Dr. Phil

  by Cindi_67 in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  dr. phil has posted an upcoming topic for his program on child abuse within the "clergy".

  if anybody knows someone that would like to tell their story in his program or any of you that might have had this awful experience, visit his website and apply to go to his program and share your story.. http://www.drphil.com/plugger/.

  is the 14th posting down..

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  J-ex-W

  "I KNOW Dr. Phil would not agree with the content in the WT article below!!" And how would you know that?

  R6Laser------- Because I've seen episodes of his show where he has dealt with the subject of marital rape AND helped women escape the nightmare of domestic abuse. In case you think I posted that article because of the oral sex content [I didn't], let me tell you: I posted it because the language in it gives no room for a woman (or man) being sexuallyabused in marriage [note the word 'enforced' used in the article] to leave--and find safety-----without incurring censure from her/ his whole spiritual community and losing good name....all for wanting to be safe and respected in the home...what should be their haven away from rest of the world's pressures.
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  42

  Name a bar/pub

  by purplesofa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  need a great name for a bar/pub a family member is opening........soon!!!!!.

  can't believe he can't seem to come up with a name........ so help me .....help him out!!!!.

  thanks in advance, .

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  J-ex-W

  off Warlock's idea: "The Saucy Wench"

  or off someone else's idea: "The Frothy Pint"

  "The Point" (and have dart leagues/ tournaments)

  "Point Blank"

  "The Blackout"

  "McGoff's" (actual name)

  "Lucky Leper Cons" (not quite Irish, but almost) :^)
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  55

  I just emailed the Dr. Phil show

  by J-ex-W in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i just emailed the dr. phil show with significant aspects of my story--not just the jw stuff but with being a large part of the complicated picture and said i would be willing to air my issues on their show.

  the hidden horrors of marital sex abuse and of sleep-rape, specifically, must be exposed to the general public.

  too many believe that it's not even possible to rape a sleeping woman...and they are soooo wrong, as my firsthand experience attests!!!

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  J-ex-W

  I'm bumping this thread to the top because of the new call put out on another thread of this board to respond to the new upcoming Dr. Phil topic, "child sex abuse by clergy."

  I think if we got enough VOICES (a.k.a. emails) going into the Dr. Phil Show about the predominant theme of sex abuse, period, in the Jehovah's Witnesses worldwide compound--er, congregation...somebody there will have to take notice.

  We need to speak up about the sex abuse of JW children AND JW wives!!

  I KNOW Dr. Phil would not agree with the content of the WT article copied below. And it becomes very relevant to discuss this in light of questions being asked by undecided unbaptized ones, such as dontknow, who started a thread asking, Should I Join? This becomes VERY relevant information indeed.

  PLEASE, people...COME FORWARD!!!! Send emails to the Dr. Phil Show about your stories and/ or concerns.

  Who here is willing to APPEAR on the show and speak of what they know/ have experienced of child sex abuse and wife sex abuse in the org.?

  Who here is willing to WRITE to the show to say that they want to SEE those willing ones appear with their stories?

  Let's get a big write-in capmaign going.

  Anderson Cooper of CNN is another avenue thought of recently. Letters should go out there, too. Check out the CNN websites. I'll see if I can find the links for you later. If anyone else figures it out, feel free to post.

  dontknow----------- First of all, welcome.

  Second, I wasn't sure I was emotionally ready to answer such a question in an impartial way, that wasn't basically the same thing as TELLING you what to do...which would only be a mimicking the WT modus operandi (not letting you make up your own mind), so I left this thread alone.

  ...Till now. On another thread, someone posted an old WT article that I think speaks to the heart of my experience and your question. Below is the copy of the article and the response I posted on that thread. Do with the information what you will. Whatever decision you make, know this: You have every right to look after your own needs, welfare, and safety, period...and so do your loved ones. Good luck to you in figuring this one out.

  J-ex-W

  *** w83 3/15 pp. 30-31 Honor Godly Marriage! ***
  Married Christians
  How about sexual activity between married couples within the marriage bond? It is not for the elders to pry into the intimate lives of married Christians. However, the Bible certainly enters into their lives. Those who would “keep walking by spirit” should not ignore the Scriptural indications of God’s thinking. And they will do well to cultivate a hatred for everything that is unclean before Jehovah, including what are clearly perverted sexual practices. Married couples should act in a way that will leave them with a clean conscience, as they give unimpeded attention to developing “the fruitage of the spirit.”—Galatians 5:16, 22, 23; Ephesians 5:3-5.
  
  What, though, if one mate wants or even demands to share with his or her partner in what is clearly a perverted sex practice? The above-presented facts show that porneia involves unlawful sexual conduct outside the marital arrangement. Thus, a mate’s enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, withinthe marriage would not constitute a Scriptural basis for a divorce that would free either for remarriage. Even though a believing mate is distressed by the situation, yet that one’s endeavor to hold to Scriptural principles will result in a blessing from Jehovah. In such cases it may be helpful for the couple to discuss the problem frankly, bearing in mind especially that sexual relations should be honorable, wholesome, an expression of tender love. This certainly should exclude anything that might distress or harm one’s mate.—Ephesians 5:28-30; 1 Peter 3:1, 7.
  
  As already stated, it is not for elders to “police” the private marital matters of couples in the congregation. However, if it becomes known that a member of the congregation is practicing or openly advocating perverted sex relations within the marriage bond, that one certainly would not be irreprehensible, and so would not be acceptable for special privileges, such as serving as an elder, a ministerial servant or a pioneer. Such practice and advocacy could even lead to expulsion from the congregation. Why?

  Norm-------- Thanks for sharing this. Note, too, how it gives WT permission to RAPE a mate..........and says victimized mate is scripturally in the wrong to protect herself/ himself by getting a divorce. Leaving the marriage under such circumstances is NOT deemed permissible for a faithful JW----and results in all kinds of public CENSURE from the congregation INSTEAD of help, support, and protection as is needed and deserved.

  This is the kind of influence which, as many of you already know, has prompted my 18-year-old faithful JW son (active participant in circuit assembly parts, no less) to say to me: "Nothing short of dad being a SERIAL KILLER can justify you divorcing him."

  THINK HARD, PEOPLE, ABOUT WHAT KIND OF ORGANIZATION THIS IS...THAT WOULD ESTABLISH THESE KINDS OF RULES AND GUIDELINES FOR ITS FOLLOWERS...REFUSE THEM THE NECESSARY HELP TOWARD SAFETY AND RECOVERY...AND TELL A HURTING VICTIM THAT WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IS

  MORE PRAYER,

  MORE MEETINGS, AND

  MORE HOURS OUT IN SERVICE

  --PERIOD. Been there...heard that...speaking from experience, unfortunately.
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  14

  Help! My fade about to be blown by my wife's obituary

  by lighthouse19something in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife of 27 years is about to pass away, she's requested do not revive or resuscitate, and she is no longer conscious.

  her sister wants to put which church she's been attending in her obituary, i don't want to make things difficult for my jw mother, (she knows about our fade) by other jws.

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  J-ex-W

  Is your sister-in-law someone you can talk to about this? I like Aude's suggestion. (((((((((((((((((lighthouse)))))))))))))))))))) Sorry you are going through this.