J-ex-W

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Posts by J-ex-W

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  50

  Loosing Moms We Never Had

  by Sparkplug in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  when my mom first came to live with me, i begrudged it.

  i was angry.

  i left home at age 14 and that was fine by me.

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  J-ex-W

  Sparkplug---------- I will ignore the parts about your attitude that anger me for now, and just address the things I can do without...losing my own cool.

  Just wanna let you know that your mom has needed serious psychiatric care and loving family support for a long while.

  I suspect the same is true for you, too (having been in need of loving family support for a long time).

  While I AM sympathetic to some of the crap you've had to deal with, I have to be honest in acknowledging that our own attitude and approach can do a world of good or do a world of further HARM to our situations and the people around us.

  That 'digging' thing you're describing--digging into the skin--it may be an identifiable psychiatric condition but, unfortunately, I can't remember the name of it right now. I'll write you back later after I hear from a friend of mine who might be able to tell me. A doctor told it to her when one of her loved ones was diagnosed with it.

  Anyway...if you're not already getting therapy on a regular basis, I would strongly urge you to do so, because something tells me you ARE a considerate, loving person under normal circumstances...but just haven't been dealing with normal circumstances for a long time, for that to have a chance to express itself properly. Sometimes we need recallibration when the natural ratios in our life get out of balance.

  I know some of my words sound hard...but I also know you are looking at your own situation and recognizing at least some of the truth in it yourself...and want to HEAL. Acknowledging all the elements of what went on--the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent, our part in it, the other's part in it and just pure dumb uncontrollable circumstances--acknowldedging ALL of that is what can lay the best groundwork for rebuilding...healing...on a more solid foundation.

  This is what I would wish for you. You deserve to be able to draw from the positives of your situation and move forward in a way that benefits you and your loved ones around you. I really wish you the best in dealing with this emotionally confusing and devastating time.

  Anyone would be confused and overrun with conflicting emotions in your shoes, right now. I hope you know that. Please seek help to sort it out...this is not the kind of stuff that 'time' alone can heal. Conscious effort and, very likely, a professional guiding hand is what is needed to help bring the healing you deserve.

  Good luck to you on this!!

  J-ex-W
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  10

  HOW HYPOCRITCAL CAN YOU GET (part 1)...

  by Frequent_Fader_Miles in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i used to view the pharisees as the 'evil spawn of satan'.

  i still remember that image in the literature of a bearded man looking down at people.

  boy was i clueless!!

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  J-ex-W

  No publication should ever be associated with a particular person. This is especially so in the case of Bible translators. This confidentiality protects both the organization and translators .

  My computer is using funky lettering, and I can't change it. Oh, well. Anyway...

  This is interesting. The Society always tells US, the congregation members, that the anonymity of translators/ authors--especially Bible translators--is so that the "GLORY" for the work done goes to the one to whom it truly belongs.......JEHOVAH!! Interesting *twist* on things..........
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  37

  Newbie!!!

  by KCM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm a newbie on here.

  been away from the truth for nearly a year now and have just got my divorce from my violent ex who is stil serving in the congregation.

  found things hard and still am, as the 'truth' is all i've ever known....so am on here for some well needed support, if thats ok?

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  J-ex-W

  I'm a newbie on here. Been away from the truth for nearly a year now and have just got my divorce from my violent ex who is stil serving in the congregation. Found things hard and still am, as the 'truth' is all I've ever known....so am on here for some well needed support, if thats ok? xxx

  KCM----Welcome to the discussion board!! We'll be glad to have your presence and your voice added--and to lend support or even answers, where possible. Look forward to hearing more from you. BTW, I also divorced a violent man who is very active in congregation activities. Bites, doesn't it--to know that they look at us, the abuse victims who have stood up and said NO MORE as being the ones with a 'problem'...bad heart condition...yada yada yada......

  It really helps hearing from others on this board who are VERY familiar with the same kind of thing.

  Best of healing to you.

  J-ex-W
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  144

  Get A Load Of This Anti Watchtower Site!

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a preview of what's coming in january is on this link, it sounds scary to me!!!!

  .

  http://www.sixscreensofthewatchtower.com/.

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  J-ex-W

  WOW !!!! AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!
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  31

  Withholding sex in a relationship or marriage

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i once heard that when you first get married, you should take a jar and put a penny it in each time you have sex your first year.

  then after the first year, take a penny out for each time you have sex, and that jar would never go empty.

  basically, the sex gets old and you never do it much after the first year.

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  J-ex-W

  I don't get the 'blaming the frigid wife thing' from married guys, but I do get hit on by them from time to time. If I let them get far enough into the conversation, this 'frigid wife' thing would probably soon follow out of their mouths.
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  31

  Withholding sex in a relationship or marriage

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i once heard that when you first get married, you should take a jar and put a penny it in each time you have sex your first year.

  then after the first year, take a penny out for each time you have sex, and that jar would never go empty.

  basically, the sex gets old and you never do it much after the first year.

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  J-ex-W

  I once heard that when you first get married, you should take a jar and put a penny it in each time you have sex your first year. Then after the first year, take a penny out for each time you have sex, and that jar would never go empty. Basically, the sex gets old and you never do it much after the first year.

  Yeah...I could never live like that.

  So, do you think withholding sex out of a relationship is something that will lead to the end of the relationship? or just something you have to accept?

  I think it's important to understand that the term 'withholding' does not necessarily apply to this question, though. 'Withering' is the term that may apply more fully--as in, withering sex drive/ desire/ connection---from lack of 'watering,' nurturing, and any number of ills existing within the marriage itself.

  A lot of times, guys (and sometimes girls) prefer to look at it as their partners withholding---rather than see it as themSELVES withholding: Withholding the TLC and hard maintenance necessary to keep a healthy marriage connection thriving. So...I say...if your partner seems to be withholding...look for the root causes to the WITHERING.......
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  21

  My gran died/first meeting with my whole family since father's admission

  by Wolfgirl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i got a call tuesday afternoon that my gran (in the us) had a massive stroke and was in a coma.

  they already knew that they were going to have to transfer to hospice.. i flew out wednesday, and the horrendous trip began.

  we were a bit delayed coming in to washington because there was a plane sitting on the runway.

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  J-ex-W

  Do you mind if I ask...the obvious...what your father did to you, that he seemed to half-admit? You were very brave to go into this situation the way you did and handled yourself with great class. I'm proud of you, and you have every right to be proud of yourself. And I'm sure your Papi appreciates very much all you've done on his behalf.

  ((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))
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  21

  My gran died/first meeting with my whole family since father's admission

  by Wolfgirl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i got a call tuesday afternoon that my gran (in the us) had a massive stroke and was in a coma.

  they already knew that they were going to have to transfer to hospice.. i flew out wednesday, and the horrendous trip began.

  we were a bit delayed coming in to washington because there was a plane sitting on the runway.

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  J-ex-W

  (((((((((((( Wolfgirl )))))))))))))))

  I'm so sorry you're going through this!!
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  14

  did the Witnesses hurt your marriage?

  by magdalenefan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to jump in and proclaim jesus was married, must seem strange, coming from someone divorced, i must believe in something.

  mostly going over what went wrong and why.. if i shown more love, etc, etc.. but i wonder if the witnesses was like the rolling iron crush ball smashing into the demolishing building.

  i am trying to think, blame them?

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  J-ex-W

  Short answer: Yes.

  Long answer: My abusive then-husband ruined my marriage...and the Witnesses/ Watchtower Society gave him license to do it. (remain abusive)
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  22

  Today is my one year anniversary

  by Abandoned in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  J-ex-W

  Good Job, Abandoned !!!!! Many more returns-------and there WILL be, since you've QUIT !!