Posts by fifi40

11

hello.....

by L.Wells in

jw
friends

i have lurked here for quite some time but felt the need to register, probably because i feel almost ready to leave.

a little background.

i am raised in the truth, am for all intents and purposes a good witness.

Relative to the Population at large on a 1-10 how do you rate.....

by new boy in

jw
friends

1.your physical attractiveness.. 2.your intelligence.. 3.your personality.. with 5 being average.. i don't think many will answer these tough questions.

.

fifi40

1. Eight and a half.

2. Eight and half.

3. Nine.

Not that I am conceited, but you did ask

24

A SUCKER FOR BORDER COLLIES

by Dansk in

jw
friends

ok, i admit it, claire and i are dog mad!

last saturday we travelled to mid-wales to pick up a border collie puppy!

he's nine weeks old and we've called him ronnie (my son, dominic's, choice).

This is my boy, not a border collie but a border terrier. He is 14 months old now and we adore him. He gives more than he takes, dog owners will know what I mean. He is always sooooooooo pleased to see us if we have been out, always brings us some kind of pressie (a toy, a tea towel he has knicked or a smelly sock out of the washing basket).

We have been contemplating have another but we are not sure. Honestly I dont know if I would love another like I love him.

A lovely saying I once heard and which I think is probably true "A dog is the only being that will love you more than you love yourself".

Gonna go and take him WALKIES now.

Fifi

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

Notaness - I am no longer a religious person but I am glad that there are religious organisations that take a different approach to people and the problems they have.

In part, the reason for telling this true story was to highlight what I feel is a fundamental flaw in the JW organisation. It seems they take the approach of this is how you are to behave, if you fall short and do no not measure up and are not repentant you are OUT, and there is no help for you. My belief is that if there is a God, he would be able to see all. He knows how people's lives are moulded and how for some their innocence, self worth and dignity is ripped from them at an age when the impact of another person's evil actions toward them, will leave lasting and horrific scars, that on their own are practically impossible to deal with. People who have suffered abuse of any description at an early age need the love, support and educated help of those that can only aid them in rebuilding and making sense of a shattered childhood. When people ignore stuff that has happened to them, cover it over and pretend it never happened, it will at some point disrupt their lives and sometimes in monumental style. Again, I say if there is a God, it is my belief that he would want people to be supported and helped through such extreme and disturbing times. The one thing I know is that the JWs lack this kind of support system.

Thanks all for your comments.

Fifi

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

Warlock - I know exactly where you are coming from. If the JWs had been enough to sustain her, then I would rather she was here living a lie than the terrible mess her life became and the legacy she has left for her children. Unfortunately, I think Lady Lee is right, that whatever path she had chosen, at some point her past would have caught up with her. I hope your relative gets the right help and gets clean.

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

Underbeliever - No she was not raised as a JW. She got it later in life, sometime in her 20's. That was my point really, that the only time she 'appeared' in control and relatively happy was when she became a JW. Sadly the JWs lack the support system, understanding and information necessary to deal with the types of problems she had personally.

I have seen this with other ex witnesses, they are disfellowshipped for a wrong they commit and then completely shunned. It is not very easy when you have low self worth in the first place to overcome deep issues you have on your own, and when you find yourself ignored by the very people you have become close to, who profess to love you you can feel very limited in where to go. It is very easy to sink into a mire and not respond to the help that is available.

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

Lady Lee - Thank you for your reply. I always have deep respect for your posts, which at times must be very difficult to post about. You always make me feel like I want to give you a huge hug. Two things you said struck me, firstly the fake plastered smile, that was 'Carol' to a tee, she was always smiling and messing about, and her smile sometimes even appeared false and I suppose this was because of all the hurt she was carrying around inside of her. I wish she had been honest about the abuse a lot earlier than she was, she might have got the right help then, but it only came out when her life was spiralling madly downwards.

Secondly I agree, it wouldnt have mattered what life style she had chosen, i think the issues would have arisen at some point and would have needed dealing with.

Thanks again

Fi

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

R.Crusoe - I fully understand your sentiment. Sadly she did have people around her who cared and would have done whatever to help her. The trouble is heroin is like a cancer, it eats at your soul and she would lie to and deceive the very people that were any good for her. It was almost like she had given up on life and was hell bent on destoying herself. I too beleive if it works, fuck the rules, but the person suffering has got to want it to work. Sadly I think she had gone beyond wanting to be helped.

18

Is being a Jehovahs Witness sometimes a good thing..............

by fifi40 in

to explain this thread i need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy i will refer to her as carol.. i met carol in the about 1990. i was not a jw (had left when i was 16 and unbaptised).

i was suffering with panic attacks, i think for many reasons but mainly because i had recently lost my dad and took it very hard.

i lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in south yorkshire.

fifi40

To explain this thread I need to tell a sad and horrific story about someone that was once a friend...............for the sake of privacy I will refer to her as Carol.

I met Carol in the about 1990. I was not a JW (had left when I was 16 and unbaptised). I was suffering with panic attacks, I think for many reasons but mainly because I had recently lost my dad and took it very hard. I lived with my then boyfriend, who later became my husband in a town in South Yorkshire. Because of the panic attacks and my JW upbringing I prayed on and off and hey presto the JWs turned up at my door.................I kinda saw this as some kind of sign. Carol lived up the road (literally) from me and was a JW and I started to study with her and another sister. The panic attacks stopped, I made rapid progress, my boyfriend started studying with a brother who was very enigmatic and soon we were married and both baptised.

Carol's history was that she was not raised with any religion, had been heavily into drugs in her teens and right up to having her first child and then stopped. A friend of her's had become a witness and through her, she too became one.

Carol and I came became good friends, she was a bit of a nutter and good fun to be around. Her husband was not a JW and she was not that happy with him. When I first knew her she was very studious, loved the truth, was raising her two boys as JWs and pioneered as and when she could. Fast forward a couple of years and she became involved with a married brother in the congregation and as a result ended up disfellowshipped. During this episode she also slept with her flesh and blood brother (sorry to shock folks) but its true and she told me how as children he had had sex with her when her parents were out. She had been drunk one night at the time she was involved with the married brother, and he had come into her room and they had ended up there again. She was disgusted with herself. I was still a JW at the time and had nothing to do with her because of the disfellowshipping, but heard stuff about her getting into drugs again, she had left hubby and was with another man and was pregnant with her third child.

After I was d/fed I got in touch with her and went to see her. She told me she was using heroin (again) and her life appeared to be very messy. By this time she had four children, the youngest being a baby. She was diabetic and at 7 months into her pregnancy had been confined to hospital because of the pregnancy, diabetics can have very large babies and she was tiny. She used to sneak out of the hospital in the early hours of the morning, walk a mile to a friends house, scale a 6 foot wall with the aid of a wheely bin to get to people she knew would supply her with drugs but wouldnt answer the front door. I found all this very horrific and sad. There was a lovely person inside this shell of a human and I had once known that lovely person.

Several months later (from the first visit) I got contacted by her family to say she was seriously ill in hospital. I drove an hour and half up the country to find my once adored friend, swollen and bloated, unable to hold a conversation and just about alive. A heroin overdose. She survived this and was in hospital for quite a while and I visited her as often as I could. being in hospital she got clean and was very positive about staying that way.

Sadly, once free of hospital, she slipped back in with the old aquaintances and the last time I saw her she told me she was injecting into her groin because her other veins were not standing up to it. She has since died leaving four children.

I tell this story hoping you will not judge her to harshly. She had been abused from an early age and she never got the right help to sort herself out .

When I first knew her she was a lovely, warm, gregarious, devout human being trying to do her best in life. Being a JW had helped her get to this point. When I last saw her she was a sad, addicted shell of a human being whom I couldnt trust to leave with my handbag.

Would she have been better staying a misled JW?

I remember in her good days she once said to me "When I was growing up I always dreamed I'd live forever and then I got the truth"

I have my own thoughts on this matter but am interested in your opinions.

And I kind of wanted to tell her story in memory of a dear person and friend, who life battered so badly from an early age, and who in the end turned it all in on herself.

Fi

47

Why can't I just get over it and move on?

by Crumpet in

months have passed now since mr c and i officially separated.

so why can't i get over it?

why am i still jealous?

fifi40

oops.............watershed............can I mention rabbits