Ours was a dysfunctional family. My dad was an only child, who had a very hard father. My dad married my mum and had 5 kids with her during the 26 years that there marriage lasted, he himself was hard and difficult and I think cheated on my mum.
After he got the 'troof' he gave up his career training racehorses and concentrated on running a horse stud and farm..........some time later he was convinced to go back to training racehorses and as he didnt gamble he remained a JW. In his younger years he was a jump jockey and so was used to hurling around racecourses at 30-40 mph on a horse, jumping large obstacles.........because of this he broke bones more regularly than most and experienced friends of his dying..........in some ways he was fearless.........but he never wanted his kids to follow in his footsteps.
He was a difficult man who expected his kids to work like adults..........we picked potatoes, mucked out stables, rode mad 2 year old newly broken horses which it was inevitable at some point would put you on the ground, we picked stones off of gallops, wild wheat out of wheat crops, shifted 100's of bales of straw and hay in the summer.......the list goes on.......and after my mum left him when I was 13 I took over running the house and cooking. Neither of may parents ever recognised or encouraged the intelligent, clever kids they had. My dad invented swear words I think........if he lost his temper which was often out would come a torrent of abuse.........yet on Sundays and Tuesday and Thursday nights he polished up into a charming and alluring individual..........he believed the truth and expected his kids to also.....despite the hypocrisy we were seeing.
My dad on occassion hit me for no reason, hit me when I had stitches in my face in the face, and has pinned me up against a door and threatened to shoot us both..........I didnt realise this was abuse until many years later when the resulting effects caught up with me.
My dad was all things......violent and abusive.......charming and loving........heartbroken and sad when my mum eventually left him......and sorry and heartbroken at the end of his life when he had time to reflect on how he had treated us. He died of Motor Neurone disease in 1989.
Whatever he was I loved him.