Sorry to hear that Corey and welcome as I didnt get a chance to welcome you to the forum, just a thought, Christ who instituted the Memorial talked to Judas the night he betrayed him.
By their fruits you will recognize them, must have love among themselves to prove the disciples
If you love only those that love you, how are you better then the Pagans Christ said.
Just a couple of thoughts, peace and I wish you well.
abr