First livingalie, I am new to the forum, I have been out for over 6 years and spent 22 years in, Was a poineer, MS and an elder so that is my background. Same as many others here that have gone through the mill with this org. Sorry to hear that you have so many problems and I don't know if what I will say will help or not. Like any GAME you must play by the rules if you want to win. Life is not a game and so for that reason what happens in the org to me doesn't apply on many matters, but if you want back in. You must play by their rules and you must know that the rules change constantly depending on which cong you are in, who your elders are, inexperienced or not, humble or not, does your knowledge of the scriptures offend them or shed light on matters FOR you. There is a no win situation after awhile. However, the witnesses published an article years ago on divorce, stating in there the INNOCENT mate can forgive or not. Forgiveness is shown by having sex with the guilty party whether immediately or within a resonable period of time to think matters over. However there was a LOOPHOLE for the guilty party, they said even if the innocent mates says they forgive, but does NOT resume sexual relations with the guilty party, then it can be assumed that the guilty party has the right to move on without any feelings of undo guilt and move on with their lives. I would say over a year on her part, it has been enough time (use the year of DFing as the timetable, they do). Don't know if you have used this, remember this or one on the judical committe has, but it is there. Her not moving forward and you or her applying for the divorce should have no bearing on the matter of your desire to be reinstated. Amazing how man made rules has only complicated your situation.
As far as the year being DF'd it always surprises me on this matter too. Both 1 and 2 Cor were written in the same year, so that blows a huge hole in the (must be out a year theory), 1 Cor 5 says to DF the party who was trying to contaminate the cong, not like many witnesses who just leave but want nothing to do with spreading their conduct or teachings in the cong. However, 2 Cor 2 says that only the majority went along with the descision to DF and nothing happened to the remainer who didn't shun him. Also the cong was to go to the man when they could see that he was obviously repentant, not for the man to beg his way back in after a year of constantly humilation and meeting attendance was not the measuing bar for reinstatement, no letter, no announcement, no repeated judical committee meetings, Paul wrote to the congr, not the BOE who DF'd him to confer their love on the sorrowed man. The whole thing for you to continue this walking in the hall to be humilated, to me this is so unloving. I am sorry livingalie, I just cant see our God as this unloving or kind, but I now that Jesus said whatever you measue out will be measued out to you. I wonder for all serious sins, whether they are brought before a committee, done in private, we got away with it in mans eyes or not, does Jehovah only forgive sins after a year. Ludicris, sorry for the spelling. If they don't reinstate you for awhile, just remember, Is 55:8,9
8 “For the thoughts of YOU people are not my thoughts, nor are my ways YOUR ways,” is the utterance of Jehovah. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than YOUR ways, and my thoughts than YOUR thoughts.
NEVER feel that just because some legalist doesn't reinstate you, who cant read your heart, that Jehovah through His Son hasn't already forgiven you.
Paul said at 1 Cor 4:3-5 3 As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point. 4 My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. 5 So don’t make judgments about anyone ahead of time—before the Lord returns. For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives. Then God will give to each one whatever praise is due.
James says that those who show no mercy will have their judgement without mercy. Jesus said in John 12 that even he didn't judge, BUT if he did, it would only be right becasue his Father was with him.
Take courage, the judgement of men, BOE, holds no water with me. Use your time DF'd to draw close to Jah, use it to build more faith and love, use it to become less judgmental and forgiving of others. Play their games for as long as you need to if you want to go back. I for my part, have a closer relationship with Jehovah and His Son then ever. It has been built by my reliance on both of them with a lot of prayer and constantly looking at God's Word, begging for his help in all I do. Remember men totally combined, only add up to an exhaulaton according to the Psalmist. Don't put too much in what men can do or say to you. If you feel the need to be in the org for whatever reason, then that is your call, but always build the relationship with God and His Son, rely on them, PS 146:3,4.
John 2:23-25 says of Jesus 23 Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. 24 But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature. 25 No one needed to tell him what mankind is really like.
If Jesus did't trust men and we are suppose to be like him, well??? Go figure! I wish you the best in all you do,
Your Brother no matter what some MAN says of me
