Posts by erandir

57

I know it's only a discussion forum...

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

but how has having a place like jwd improved your life?.

.

erandir

JWD gives me a place to vent and to share things that I can't even share with my wife (for now). She's not ready. That's sad, I know, but true.

22

I don't feel angry or resentful, do you?

by Orgull in

i'm new here (my first post yesterday: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/138721/1.ashx) and i've noticed only one thing that i don't have in common with a few people here.. i'm breaking free of my beliefs after more than thirty years and i feel great.

i feel calm, free and in control.. i feel no anger, resentment or hate towards my so-called brothers and sisters or towards the fds or the organization.

i don't see the point, it doesn't help me any.

erandir

Paralipomenon:

Bargaining: Not sure if this would apply

What about this? "If only I could get back the last 7 years of my life I wasted with the borg..."

I don't really feel like that most of the time, but sometimes I think "what if" along those lines. I did learn a couple good things from the witnesses, but I think I could have picked up the same lessons from others along the way. Who knows.

45

I had no idea there were people who felt like me

by Orgull in

i've recently begun challenging my beliefs.

all my beliefs, including those ingrained in me as one raised "in the truth".. a few years ago i sought therapy for chronic depression and my treatment was remarkably successful.

as a side effect, things that used to "work" for me no longer fit with the new emotional pathways and strengths i was developing.

erandir

Welcome, Orgull!

Yeap, for me, I finally had enough of the "imperfect" people and the leaps of logic and the disturbing things such as failed prophecies and the UN NGO thing. After a couple years of struggling with depression and blaming it on myself, it was like I finally woke up and decided that there wasn't anything wrong with me that couldn't be cured by not attending the meetings any longer. Also, the combination of being on this site and talking to a friend of mine who had decided to leave a couple years before gave me the courage to commit to the fading. And, whatdya know, by staying away from it all, I am better off.

I think I know exactly what you mean, and you worded it so well, that I think I understand myself and the process a bit better. Thanks!

I wish you luck and happiness!

Erandir

56

BirthdaysSimple Deconstruction of the JW Rationale

by AuldSoul in

to deconstruct the jw rationale surrounding birthdays, a few simple guidelines should be followed.. (1): don't waste any energy trying to convince a jw that birthdays are not pagan, if they suggest that, readily agree.

whether or not the celebrations are pagan turns out to be a non-issue that distracts from the main point.. (2): stay focused on the fact that jws disfellowship people for celebrating birthdays.. (3): stress the point that there should always be clear scriptural reason for disfellowshipping someone.

ask them often throughout the discussion whether this is the case, get them to reinforce this need to themselves.. (4): remember, the first goal is deconstructing their rationale, not giving them a new rationale, not convincing them that celebrating birthdays is a good thing.. once you have these well in mind, the deconstruction can begin.. jw rationale, in brief:.

erandir

I dunno, erandir, I can't really imagine "attention to self" being hard to strike down for any ex-JW.
What do you think?

Well, Auld, since you put it that way......duh! I wish I would have thought of that! Thanks!

69

Do YOU Believe Everything That Posters Say Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i don't.

i believe most, though.

erandir

Wow...I can sure sense the paranoia. Is that a left over feeling from when some of you were witnesses? Let it go.

If it helps any to know...I, for one, only post what I honestly believe to be true mixed in with a little sarcasm or an attempt at wit. I'm not a big fan of embellishing things and try hard to resist that. I find that trait to be repulsive when I see it in others, so I do my best not to emulate it.

This is a fun place to be, and I really enjoy "associating" with like-minded individuals here. It's such a good thing to have after the let-down and disappointment I have experienced with the organization. I don't want to start nitpicking this forum apart.

4

A MUST READ::: a book that I've not seen mentioned

by smellsgood in

jw
friends

son of the revolution .

it's about liang hengs experiences growing up during the cultural revolution, led by chairman mao ze dong, after upending chaing kaisheks totalitarian regime.

amazing the parallels at times to religious cults.

erandir

a&w, your post reminds me of that hilarious and recent emoticon-only thread.

13

Dreams of KH, Assemblies, etc.

by monophonic in

jw
friends

so, i attend more meetings than most jws with all the dreams i continue to have regarding the meetings and assemblies..

usually the dreams aren't nightmares, but i'm supposed to give a talk and i'm given what i'm supposed to say and i tell the brothers there's no way i'm getting up there and giving the talk unless i can go off the outline..

most of the time, the dreams bleed into other areas of my life, like last night i was at the assembly and i saw this supposed life-long 'friend'....

erandir

Just a couple of dreams about a couple of elders who personally irk me...and having a stupid argument with them...in my house for some reason even though I would never ever invite them in real life.

46

You Are Much Too Harsh About The Watchtower Society

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

you are much too harsh about the watchtower societysince you were, little we did our best to raise you.

you always received good.

grades in school; we always did our best to feed, clothe and give you every-.

erandir

Hmmm...how would I respond to this?

Well, let's see. I was in a similar situation when I first became a witness...just in reverse. My parents were pretty pissed off at first. But with time, they realized I was living a basically normal life and that, being the good parents that they were, they couldn't pretend their son didn't exist and tried very hard to compromise their beliefs to accomodate ours. We just never talked about spiritual/religious things and never got together on holidays.

I received a veritable Prodigal son's welcome (minus the animal slaughter, Crumpet) when I announced to them I left the witnesses. I felt so bad about how they must have felt all those years...as if I had walked out on them, and they never understood it. Now it's all water under the bridge. They just wanted a normal family again, and I'm helping that happen now.

So I know the flip side of all this. It probably doesn't help much, though.

Using that experience, my advice would be to give it some time. Maybe the parents will come around to accepting the child's decision and be a family again...just minus the spiritual/religious discussion and the holiday stuff. It's better than nothing.

56

BirthdaysSimple Deconstruction of the JW Rationale

by AuldSoul in

to deconstruct the jw rationale surrounding birthdays, a few simple guidelines should be followed.. (1): don't waste any energy trying to convince a jw that birthdays are not pagan, if they suggest that, readily agree.

whether or not the celebrations are pagan turns out to be a non-issue that distracts from the main point.. (2): stay focused on the fact that jws disfellowship people for celebrating birthdays.. (3): stress the point that there should always be clear scriptural reason for disfellowshipping someone.

ask them often throughout the discussion whether this is the case, get them to reinforce this need to themselves.. (4): remember, the first goal is deconstructing their rationale, not giving them a new rationale, not convincing them that celebrating birthdays is a good thing.. once you have these well in mind, the deconstruction can begin.. jw rationale, in brief:.

erandir

Listener,

Your two cents are like 4 cents in my book. Thanks. (I have a very good exchange rate, I guess.) That's valuable reasoning to have because I still have a wife in the org (I don't want to call it the borg, btw, cuz i'm a big star trek fan and don't want to insult star trek by comparing it with such a loathsome thing. )

69

Do YOU Believe Everything That Posters Say Here?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i don't.

i believe most, though.

erandir

No way, I don't believe any of ya because the WT says that apostates speak in half-truths and even downright lies!

Wait a minute! You all say the same thing about the WT.

I'm so confused!