Hi JWinprotest.
Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. Never undersestimate the power of constantly drip-fed "reminders" and "recommendations" and "must do's" in this Organization. You've been conditioned to think that if you don't follow these "reminders" you don't have God's approval and you've been listening to such false reasoning for decades. Of course its going to take a while to shake that off.
Being at the meetings, CO visit or DC says nothing about the quality of your faith. All it shows is an obedience to an organization that lays a huge amount of importance on these things and judges you on your adherance to them. Don't give them that control!
Both Spike and Reniaa are fringe witnesses and therefore are still convinced that you have to "work" at meeting attendance etc as part of the Organization to gain salvation. This isn't so. Salvation is a gift freely given and can't be earned no matter how many meetings you go to.
So don't be convinced with this "feeding at Jehovah's table" guilt trip they lay on people. God knows your faith because he reads your heart not your meeting attendance.