jamiebowers

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Posts by jamiebowers

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  34

  Looking for advice/thoughts/opinions RE Celebrating Xmas

  by stuckinlimbo in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  jamiebowers

  Your first priorty is your child. In my mind, holidays in modern day are simply a reminder to take time for special ocassions and celebrate them with family and friends. Decorations should include what you and your husband and kids like. For instance, I'm agnostic, but I've always loved angels...so I have about a thousand of them, LOL.

  Why not approach your parents with this?: "When I was a child I respected your way of doing things, and now that I'm an adult I expect the same from you. I think it would benefit my children to celebrate the holidays, so that's what we're going to do. If I'm df'd and you decide to shun me, I want you to know that my kids and I are a package deal...you choose to ignore me, you choose to ignore your grandchildren." Then leave no room for argument. Just find a mantra to keep repeating...something like, "I respected your child rearing decisions, and I expect you to the same for me."

  Of course it's beneficial for children to have a good relationship with their grandparents, but it's much more important for them to see that their parents are confident about their parenting. Trying to hide a normal life from yor parents may induce unneccesary guilt for your children and make you appear spineless and sneaky to them.

  Maybe this will sound silly but I have pain now for the normal joys of childhood deprived of me. Yes I know I did not have the worst childhood on the planet and am not trying to overly pity myself. But it does pain me, rightly so. I have difficulty opening the door to trick-or-treaters b/c it makes me sad thinking of what I didn't experience. Same thing watching in-laws' kids open xmas presents, go to prom, etc.

  (((((Rebel8)))). It never ceases to amaze me how people think that only those of us who were physically or sexually abused as children deserve any regret over how we were raised. Your saddness is very valid.

  That being said, it's important for the OP to know that the only thing that helped me with the saddness I felt over my childhood, (jw related and otherwise), was giving my kids what I didn't have.
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  37

  Buried my 17 yr old nephew yesterday....hug ur kids!!

  by crazyblondeb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  cant really go into the whole story, but yesterday we bured my.

  17 yr old nephew....just reminds me of how important family is.... http://www.abc17news.com/news.php?id=4324.

  any fights, squabbles..arent important!.

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  jamiebowers

  Shelley, I've said it before, but again I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine....
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  78

  The WATCHTOWER isn't DECEITFUL , they are just IMPERFECT

  by Minimommi in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i recently started questioning my beliefs and i am not happy with what i found out.

  i am married to a born in who admits that wtbs has some problems.

  one of his favorite scriptures to quote is psalms 146:3 to "not put your trust in nobles", including the so called fds.

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  jamiebowers

  I think the Tacoma parking lot scandal, the Watchtower ownership of kingdom halls, and the under reporting of cash collected for convention expenses qualify as deceptive money practices.
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  78

  The WATCHTOWER isn't DECEITFUL , they are just IMPERFECT

  by Minimommi in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i recently started questioning my beliefs and i am not happy with what i found out.

  i am married to a born in who admits that wtbs has some problems.

  one of his favorite scriptures to quote is psalms 146:3 to "not put your trust in nobles", including the so called fds.

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  jamiebowers

  If the organization is simply imperfect, how does that make it different from any other religion?
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  47

  I finally drove off my wonderful jw wife...and i am so sad..

  by oompa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i helped her move out this weekend so i must be a masochist too...so on top of losing every friend in my life...i have now lost my wife...and yes i asked her to leave on more than one occasion this year...we have argued for nearly five years about wt crap...nothing i could ever say would make her question anything!!!!

  it was beyond frustrating...then this spring when i somehow disassociated myself and even lost my parents i knew i would never have a normal marriage no matter what...all i wanted was a normal marriage with mutual friends...that is off the table as long as she is a jw...but why could i not accept it???

  why could i not shut up???

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  jamiebowers

  I'm sorry you're hurting, dear Oompa! She may be the best woman on the planet, but if you're not happy and getting along, she's not for you.
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  81

  New Member

  by Twisty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi.

  my wife and myself are active witnesses.. before i go into great depth about our past and what brings me here, i would like to make sure i am posting this in the right section.. i'm a little technologically retarded so please bear with me.. .

  twisty.

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  jamiebowers

  Welcome! Many of us here in JWN have stood where you're now standing. We made it through, and so will you Just take it slowly, and prove to yourself what is true. Lou is from South Africa too. I'll message her this thread on Facebook.
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  10

  In need of advice

  by NY23brown in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  yet another visit from jw's at our door, demanding to speak to only my husband and claiming to be friends of "his family".

  it has reached the point that i contacted the sherriff's department and was informed to sent a certified letter to the local kingdom hall.. dh hasn't been a "witness" since his teen years.

  i had a falling out with the in-laws (avid jw's) over them hitting our daughter while we were on vacation visiting them.

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  jamiebowers

  Go to counseling by yourself, so if the time comes to end your marriage, you'll know that you did everything you could to save it. Jws typically display deranged behavior, because they're in a cult. It sounds as if your husband either isn't totally mentally out, or he is co-dependent in an abusive relationship with his parents. Apparently he has assigned a god like status to his father, since he suffers under the delusion that his father could get custody of your children. It's never going to happen.

  I'm old and crusty and short on patience, so take this bit of advice for whatever you think it's worth. If your husband can't stand up to his parents on your behalf or in defense of a two-year old child, then he's not much of a man. All you have is another child, and this one apparently has a non-existant spine and a smart mouth. As for him doing lawncare for his parents, a good way for you to put the end to that is for you to stop doing the lawncare at your home. Make him take reponsibiity for his own family.
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  64

  JW Manhattan Project

  by Red Piller in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i received this and am passing it on email.

  (nyc) area by jehovah's witnesses.

  god in this project, too.. .

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  jamiebowers

  This is nothing more than street work without a request for a donation from the public. Instead, piosneers and/or their congregational benefactors will be forced to purchase more and more of the Watchtower's drivel. It's a sales drive, folks!
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  449

  "Feeling sorry for yourself" about being hit by your husband is not Christian 2/15/12 WT Page 25 P 12

  by yourmomma in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  have anyone of you read, the absolutly jaw dropping paragraph in this article about a women who was hit by her husband?

  its in page 25 of the 2/15/12 wt study edition (i read the dumbed down version).. .

  if there was any question, that the watchtowers stance is for wives to simply take it when their husbands abuse them, this makes it crystal clear.. who the hell is scanning these things before they go to print?

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  jamiebowers

  AnneB:

  Emotions aside, what they're saying is don't push someone past his or her limits. Makes sense and there's nothing wrong with it.

  AnneB, I've gotten to know you oer the years, and I truly admire you as a thoughtful, intelligent person. But on this point we'll have to agree to disagree. No one should feel fearful of physical abuse for any reason and especially so ith their spouse.

  Undercover:

  sir82 is right, this is revolting - even for the WTS. They've always maintainted that wives need to be long suffering with tempermental and prone to fits of anger husbands, but never (that I can remember) to the point of actually enduring and excusing physical abuse.

  Undercover, the Watchtower may never have put it in writing, but in my personal experience, jw wives are expected to stay with abusive husbands, period.

  I endured terrible physical abuse from my jw husband for almost seven years, and the elders never suggested I leave but instead encouraged me to be a better wife and wait on Jehovah. In our first congregation, an elder uncle of my husband at the time, interviewed his "fleshly" sister about her opposed husband beating her and holding a gun to her head. This little presenttion was done not long after I went to the elders about my jw husband hitting me. I got the message loud and clear. It was STFU...at least he's not threatening to kill you.

  Near the end of our marriage things had progressed from bad to worse. He was beating, kicking, and strangling me on a regular basis. My jw husband's threats on my life were overheard by one of my co-workers Despite the fact that his own psychiatrist and a judge ruled him dangerous and worthy of forced committment, the elders still tried to bully me back into the marriage. This was in our second congregation in a different state. One elder tld me point blank that if my husband did kill me, at least I was guaranteed into the new system.

  This article needs to be exposed to every agency and watchdog group that deals with battered women. Watchtower doctrine on this and many other matters should be made criminal!
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  5

  A year since I escaped

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's been a year since i escaped the clutches of the watchtower.

  yeah, i'm two days early but it's a thursday and it was a thursday that i attended my last meeting.. i'm posting this thread to sort of gather my thoughts of where i am.

  so, are things better?

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  jamiebowers

  I was so sorry to not be able to attend TotallyADD's and Reopened Mind's apostafest, as I really wanted to meet you, Mr. Freeze. You're the same age as my stepson, and I can't imagine how difficult it's been for you. Things are so free and easy for him...lots of girlfriends, good job, parents who love him despite some of his mistakes. I still pack his lunch for him, for GAWD's sake! I hope you continue to find happness and success.