Posts by Esmeralda

This is the letter I received concerning the custody issue. I have been given permission by the
writer to post the contents here. I am doing this so that anyone who may have any ideas can
pitch them in...This is really heartbreaking.

"I separated from my now ex in 1998.
I obtained a protective order the same year.
I have 3 children the court has given me temporary custody which is hotly contested by my ex. They are his last weapon on me.
He is an active Jehovah's Witness. I have disassociated myself due to hypocracy I have witnessed.
I was molested by my father who is also a member. No actions have ever been taken against either of them for domestic violence or molestation. The statute of limitations in ____ (the state she's in) has run out on my father.
I have spoken out against church policy in Christianity Today to support Bill Bowen.

My ex has appealed the decision of the Court and says I am not religiously compatible with the girls.
Through my ex my girls have access to my father the molester and I can do nothing. Thus, I am fighting through speaking out.
My attorney quit the case as he is not equipped for appelate courts and I have no legal representation now.
I expect to receive the appeal paperwork any day and have no idea where to go with this.

Can you help?

Do you have any ideas?

PLEASE RESPOND!!!"

I have already passed on all the links and info that was sent in response to my earlier thread. Thanks
to everyone who helped. I appreciate any additional ideas you all may have to contribute.

Thanks, on behalf of the letter's author.

Es

36

Do You Think That You Might Turn Back To Jehovah?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

i`ve never yet been snubbed by a jw.

the reason is that i refuse point blank to speak to them unless they speak to me first.

so, if i`m visiting my jw mum and jw visitors arrive which they often do i just smile, raise one eyebrow slightly, and look `em straight in the eye!.

Esmeralda

My reply is short: much along the lines of Expatbrit's.

I usually clarify what they're asking by saying:

"You mean return to the organization?"

They look confused a moment, then usually nod.

Then, I say "No."

They always look totally unravelled by the simplicity and finality of the statement.

Then they make themselves scarce!

Great post as always Englishman.

*hugs*
Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

9

Mental Anguish

by doubtingsister in

jw
friends

i'm getting ready for the book study.

the only reason i'm even going is because i've got several friends i don't want to break ties with yet.

they are counting on me to help them stay strong in the "truth".

Esmeralda

Hang in there sweetie...and do lean on your husband for support. My (second) husband was baptized
as a catholic as a baby but never taken to church. He has no 'religious' upbringing, but he is
the most noble, and upstanding and respectable man I have ever known.

Try to keep the guilt at bay about the easter egg hunt. Believe me, it's not a big deal. The WT view
of things is so skewed...after you're away from it for awhile, things will get easier.

keep us posted on how you're doing! Your'e in my thoughts

*hugs*
Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

17

Anyone out there?

by Clark66 in

jw
friends

my name is clark.

i have been disfellowshiped since december 31, 1991. i attended the redwood city north congregation and was disfellowshipped along with an elder on the same night...you do the "mathwork.".

i am new to this sight (about 1/2 hour) and am not familiar with the format of the do's and don'ts ... or even if i should be here.... however, i have a question for anyone...(and i'm ready for the answers whether it be from over enthusiastic jw's or people who understand...or from anyone in between).. i was disfellowshipped because i openly admitted before 3 elders that i am gay and lived this life as a gay man despite being previously a regular pioneer and a ministerial servant.

Esmeralda

Hi Clark,

I just wanted to welcome you to the board and give you a hug

((hug))

The others here have good advice to offer, especially checking out SanFranJim's site.

I could really get fired up with JW's and others who condemn gays but I won't go on a tangent here... (my short answer is, why are some people gay? Well, why am I not gay? We're all individuals. I believe that people are born what they are)

I am glad that you got out of the organization alive. Many don't, and that is a tragedy. Being different in any way
is hard enough in the judgemental society we live in, without all of that JW crud added on.

I'm not making much sense, it's been a long day. Just wanted to welcome you, and let you know that
I'm glad you're here, and that you made it out alive.

*hugs*
Essie

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

6

IMPORTANT! Info on JW custody issues needed!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i've been contacted by someone who is in a pretty desperate battle for custody with their jw ex.. this person needs advice from anyone who has been in this situation and managed to win, especially.

information about dealing with appelate courts and how to select competant legal counsel.. this is a time sensitive situation and i just don't have the information/experience necessary to help this person.. yet they've turned to me for help, so i have to avail upon all of you now to give any kind assistance.

that you can.. if you are willing to correspond with this person, please let me know here, or e mail me and i will .

Esmeralda

Thanks, folks, I have passed that info on and also filed it away for future reference in case
I'm asked again!

I also invited the person involved over to this board, hopefully they will show up. They could
really use the support right now.

*hugs* and thanks
Essie

10

My Sister

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

after being so close to getting a clue about the "truth",my oldest sister is way back in it, deeper than ever.. i love claire dearly, and i know that in her way, she loves me too.. i believe the problem in our relationship lies in that when it all comes down to it, at the end of the day, we don't really like each other very much anymore.

this knowledge saddens me more than i can explain.. it wasn't always this way.. we did fight a lot as children.

perhaps it's the eight year age difference.

Esmeralda

"Continue to love your sister as much as she will let you. That way you are there if her
"safe" wall comes down.
Your sister is doing what kids do. She is plugging her ears and yelling la, la, la.... loudly so
that she can't hear you, but only hearself, because if she hears you she will have to do
something about what she is hearing and she doesn't want that. It would cause her whole
life to change, and obviously she isn't ready for that."

Great advice, thanks Lindy. So glad you're here on this board :)

luv
Es

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

9

Mental Anguish

by doubtingsister in

jw
friends

i'm getting ready for the book study.

the only reason i'm even going is because i've got several friends i don't want to break ties with yet.

they are counting on me to help them stay strong in the "truth".

Esmeralda

((((((HUG))))))) Anne!

I'm so sorry for the position you're in. I remember when I felt that horrible feeling of knowing that I would
lose friends and relatives when I finally followed my heart and left the organization.

I did lose a lot of them. But there have been a few surprises. A dear friend who shunned me for a year
following my df'ing has now left the organization as well, and we are rebuilding our relationship.

Now, I hear that the daughter of my friend has now just recently left the organization. She has been
given my number, and I hope that she calls me.

One of my male cousins has also recently left, and even though he's not physically living near me now,
we are still close.

You will lose some people when you leave. But that price is not nearly as high as the price you will pay if you
stay in and lose yourself.

You say that your husband doesn't understand...is he a JW? If he's not, you have a great security blanket to help ease your journey out.

I look forward to hearing from you as you post here in the future. You're not a bother, and as the others
have said, you are definitely not alone.

Take courage.

*hug*
Esmeralda

The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

5

Did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your

by Latte in

jw
friends

http://www.witnessesonline.com/ubb/forum1/html/000072.html.

did you ever have to exclude a loved one from your wedding?.

it truly made me sad, when i read the posts on this particular thread.

Esmeralda

Hi Michelle, You said:

Here's hoping she or the studying husband wises up fast and steers clear of such an abusive organization.

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read that story. I know that my husband would never, ever be
interested in studying because of the way he sees my family treat me. I hope that lesson is not
lost on this studying spouse!!!

I know I owe you sooo much e mail...think of you all the time and hope all is well!

*hugs*
Essie

6

IMPORTANT! Info on JW custody issues needed!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i've been contacted by someone who is in a pretty desperate battle for custody with their jw ex.. this person needs advice from anyone who has been in this situation and managed to win, especially.

information about dealing with appelate courts and how to select competant legal counsel.. this is a time sensitive situation and i just don't have the information/experience necessary to help this person.. yet they've turned to me for help, so i have to avail upon all of you now to give any kind assistance.

that you can.. if you are willing to correspond with this person, please let me know here, or e mail me and i will .

Esmeralda

Hi everyone,

I've been contacted by someone who is in a pretty desperate battle for custody with their JW ex.
This person needs advice from anyone who has been in this situation and managed to win, especially
information about dealing with appelate courts and how to select competant legal counsel.

This is a time sensitive situation and I just don't have the information/experience necessary to help this person.
Yet they've turned to me for help, so I have to avail upon all of you now to give any kind assistance
that you can.

If you are willing to correspond with this person, please let me know here, or e mail me and I will
forward the mail to them.

Thank you in advance for any help you can give. My heart is breaking over this case...please help if you can!

*hugs* to all
Essie