On JWD because they are faithfully following the direction of the FDS to stay off the demon-filled internet.
Oh.
Wait.
Never mind. ;)
On JWD because they are faithfully following the direction of the FDS to stay off the demon-filled internet.
Oh.
Wait.
Never mind. ;)
below is a copy of the e-mail my sister sent me.
i had to make arrangements for my kids to be babysat somewhere else until after the wedding.
there little hearts are broken.
Send the elder a copy of your sister's email along with the bill for the reception hall. Since he feels he can dictate who can and cannot go, he can pay for it. Better yet, since YOU are paying for it, email your sister and tell her he is not "allowed" to come.
They can't do a damn thing about this because she's not baptized. How scary that she's blindly obeying.
two recently married couples just offered to give me and my bro a ride to the assembly tomorrow.
ugh, i so don't want to go, but my fade isn't going too well (considering i live with my gung-ho brother) and i need to keep up appearances, but i sure as hell am not going the whole day.
i have a feeling i'm going to wake up very, very late, and maybe catch part of the second half.
Hmmm...don't you just HATE that flu that's been going around? And so sad that you're feel so crummy just when you were getting all excited about the assembly? bummer.
please, please remember i am asking a question, not stating a fact.. .
there appears to be many advantages to fading out of the 'truth' as opposed to a full blown "i don't believe it and i'm out of here regardless of consequences'' policy.. reading others postings and experiences here and my own local experiences i can truly see why many do so.
i remember during the later stages of my still attending meetings talking to a couple who had stopped going to meetings a few years before.
No, I disagree. Part of being true to myself is recognizing that I love my family, very much, and they are important to me. I also recognize that it would be very unkind for me to rip away the structure and life and some of them (at an advanced age) have built their lives around. Being true to myself also means honoring their choices as best as I am able. I don't see it as "lying" or as "hypocrisy". I've never been more honest and truer to my inner self which makes me more able to lead a truer life outside of the organization. So yes, I'm fading and dodging questions and doing everything everyone else who fades does. I don't see it as being hypocritical in this case.
What does anger me and what I do see as hypocritical is those who have chosen to do it differently for other reasons who come across as judgemental and harsh and advocate behaviors that do not take into account familial ties and make it seem as if anyone who fades has less strength, less courage, less honesty. Trust me, it is FAR harder to be true to one's values by conducting a successful fade and at far harder cost than it would be to just wreak havoc on my life and the lives of my family by "screaming the truth about the borg from the rooftops".
for those who spent many years in the jw religion, what effect did the knowledge that your friends or family could instantly be "poofed" out of existence by a judicial committee have on you?
did it cause you to withdraw emotionally?
looking back over the decades, ( i'm a 3rd gen jw in my forties, mentally out but physically in ) i can remember consciously thinking about whether a new friend was going to be around "for the long haul".
(ventures out of lurkdom)
I think DFing and the blood policy taught me that love and relationships are totally conditional upon compliance. I remember talking to the guy I'm seeing about the blood issue and him saying - "I would do WHATEVER it takes to save your life. There's not even a question." I was actually speechless. It was the first time in my entire life that anyone had felt that way about me - that my life was actually worth something more than a potential sacrifice. It was a stunning moment.
basically i di'ad last year and at first hubby was petrified and was more like a jw apologist than a supportive spouse.
however this year esp the last few months, where even his own mother has told him she won't set foot in our door even to see her grandchildren he is v v disgusted with the religion.
the problem we have tbh is moving on properly and i know what it is, he doesn't believe it anymore, yet he says shes still his mother even though shes never been good to him and he knows she's totally cut him out if he left (she only v seldomly texts or rings him if she wants something).
Consider finding him a therapist who has some experience with cults. Before I left, I spent a few months in therapy to deal with some issues that I thought had NOTHING to do with being a JW and everything to do with my mom and childhood. Ha. You may have to "interview" them before you he makes his selection to make sure they are qualified to deal with the JW issue. I went into therapy not even knowing my counsellor had that kind of background; he picked up on the JW stuff immediately and subtly worked from that viewpoint. Six month later I'm out with no guilt. I didn't DF or DA b/c of family but I am strong enough now to face that if I have too. It sounds like your husband has two unhealthy "fixations" - (not the right word, I'm sure) - his mother and JWs. Break one and you've broken the other.
so i was talking with an girlfriend that i had (actually the only friend i had in 'the truth').
we have recently reconnected, and she's still on the fence as to whether or not to go back into the org.
however, her aunt, an elder's wife and all-around snot rocket, let her know what was going on in the truth (i'm guessing to get her to come back full-time cause 'look at all that's happening, and it's the end!
It's just another example of lack of reasoning ability - they've BEEN sending Bethelites home because so much is automated now they don't need so many grunt workers. The farms are all shut down because it's become cheaper to buy food than to grow it and process it. There are entire floors in what was the bindery and printing that are like ghost towns - it's all automated now and the presses are so big they can print what they need more efficiently. They're not sending them home to pioneer, they're sending them home because there's no work and they're saving money.
is a certain "uptightness" creeping into our community?.
should we be scolding one another?.
especially kids?
I am a lurker and usually don't comment BUT...
Judgmental is a term that seems to be negatively - as in - it's "wrong to judge". I vehemently disagree with that - we make judgment calls EVERY day - on what we eat, what we put on, how we treat people. It's not wrong to judge and assuming that because someone judges means they also feel they are morally superior is silly, IMO.
I did read the post that you are obliquely referring too, and frankly was horrified by it and was very gratified to see mature people who have "been there, done that" express concern, provide some guidance and some loving advice. No one condemned the poster, just his actions. It's NOT funny to be publicly drunk. I don't know where the poster lives, but in most states, it's also illegal. Imagine if he had (by his own admission was not too steady on his feet), tripped down the stairs and hurt a child? or an elderly person? How hypocritical is it to judge JWs for not respecting us but then to disrespect them right back? Whether it was at a convention or any other public gathering where there are children, it shows a lack of good judgment and general respect to behave that way. Several posters commented that kind of behavior gives non-JWs a bad name. How can you disagree with that? That's not acting "morally superior", that's stating a fact.
I hate for one of my few posts to be a negative one, I really do. This board has been enormously helpful to me and I do read it daily. However, in this case - GROW UP everyone. Take off the anti-JW rhetoric and put this behavior in context. An underage (I believe his profile says 20) kid, got smashed in front his mom, tried to proposition a teenage girl, exposed small children to his drunkenness, embarrassed his friends and generally behaved like a complete ass. He has an alcohol problem and as someone who has seen first-hand the devasting affects of that - it's NOT funny and it should NOT be catered to, condoned, or treated as if it's some big win in the battle against JWs. I'd be offended no matter where this happened.
My heart hurt reading his post. He's obviously in pain, doesn't know where to go or what to do with his life and has no firm help. I sincerely hope that he gets help - not because I think I'm "morally superior", but because I'm a human being who cares about others. (and now, back to Lurkdom).
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday dear free chick.
Oh wow! That is such exciting news! I think you will be TERRIFIC in your next venture. Not to be completely cheesy here :) but I want to say how much you've meant to me. If you are able to bring even a little bit of your encouragement and support to the table in your new venture, they will be very lucky to have you.
You know I'm going through a completely confusing and chaotic time in my life - and I'm so happy that I can turn to you for a listening ear, cheerleading, and calm logic. The next few months aren't going to be easy. I'm scared. I can't really explain how good it feels to know there's someone like you out there - reaching out a hand - to help me. Ok, I'm done with the mushy for tonight!
I can hardly wait to be able to celebrate next year's birthday with you!!!
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday dear free chick.
And your birthday present is....
I'm de-cloaking long enough to wish you a Happy Birthday!!!!!!
Sorry I'm late to the party - I was too busy packing my bags for our future trip!!! ;)
Your friendship has meant sooo much to me - I love you and can hardly wait to get out there to go surfing with you!!!!