And - where would a woman who is both attractive and intellectually stimulating hang out? Are you hanging out there?
Georgiegirl
JoinedPosts by Georgiegirl
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15
Relationships after "The Truth"
by Cthulhu ini just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).
but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.
i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.
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15
Relationships after "The Truth"
by Cthulhu ini just saw the last thread started by highdose about her date with the nonwitness gentleman (and you have both my congratulations as well as best wishes).
but then it occured to me as a single guy that i have had very little luck in the dating department since leaving the cult.
i understand why, to a large degree, this can be a problem for folks after they have had their minds and social skills depleated.
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Georgiegirl
Let me turn it back around - what about you would be appealing? What personal work have you done to make yourself into the kind of guy that a woman who is both attractive and intellectually stimulating would want to date?
Most JW guys are trained to think that by merely "spiritual" or by "reaching out" they automatically become desirable marriage material (and sadly, in the organization, that is often the case). They can be absolute a**es but if they are a pioneer, or MS or elder (gasp!) they are "HOT". Doesn't work in the world. They are a bit more picky because they can be.
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80
To Current and Former Elders
by Styxx ini wanted to say a few things to current and former elders.
it was really a post by alltimejeff on 10/1/2009 that got me thinking about this and i address a few things that he says here.
but i dont want to single him out because i really think that he is typical of many, and he did in fact apologize for his actions at the end of his post.
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Georgiegirl
Yikes. No kidding. Do you even know anything at all about him besides that particular post? I'm sorry you were so hurt and that's why many are here on this board. Coming out with both barrels smoking isn't going to win you anything however. You said you didn't want to single him out and then proceeded to do so.
Giving you the benefit of the doubt since you appear to be very hurt and angry, welcome.
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17
Not without my daughters
by IronHill inanyone remember that movie?
sally field playing an abused wife trying to leave iran with her daughter?
my current situation reminds me of that movie.. ok a little background.... i have two beautiful daughters from a previous marriage.
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Georgiegirl
If you have them half a week, can you make your half the half that includes the one nightly meeting and Saturdays and Sundays? (not sure how it works). That would avoid any indoctrination via meetings and field service.
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17
Not without my daughters
by IronHill inanyone remember that movie?
sally field playing an abused wife trying to leave iran with her daughter?
my current situation reminds me of that movie.. ok a little background.... i have two beautiful daughters from a previous marriage.
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Georgiegirl
I agree. Honestly, the fact is that it isn't easy to come back. Depending on how long she's been out, she would have to make EVERY meeting and show genuine repentance, etc etc before she was reinstated. AND she'd have to attend on those days WITH the girls and NO outside help since she is df'd. The chances of her being able to make it back aren't huge. Secondly, by the time she did, you'd have another year of helping your daughters since you are able to have them regularly. They will see the difference in the two households. I know you are angry, but from the outside looking in, I don't think you have much to worry about with losing your daughters to the organization.
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41
Former JW Survey
by Opus92 ini'm trying to gather data on ex-jws to analyze for a statistics class.
i'd appreciate it if you'd click the link and take my short survey.
it's only 7 questions and is anonymous.. .
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Georgiegirl
Ha! I'm taking stats right now so you've got the sympathy factor on my end! Took the survey.
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25
Confusion
by tryingtoexit inokay so i'm very very very close to presenting all my evidence for why i no longer want to be a jw to my parents and my wife.
we will be together just the 4 of us during the christmas season as we have that time off.
i've gathered enough information in the past 12/13 months to do this, 607/1914, birthdays, faithful & discreet slave, cult mind control/fear, false prophecies, preaching, etc.. but one thing i am still unsure of or have trouble understanding/explaining is the true answer to some things in revelation.. i know many chrisitans believe they are going to heaven, but in my "deprogramming stages" i cant figure out:.
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Georgiegirl
Wow. You're about to be in for a huge roller coaster. I certainly can't tell you what to do and everyone needs to approach this in their own way, but is hitting your parents and wife with a 1 year plus of research all at once going to be the best approach? Imagine if you were still mind controlled and got hit all at once...you'd go into major defense mode and would completely shut down. Again, you know the people involved intimately and I don't, but I fear for your relationships if you go all Apostate Samurai on their as**es. ;)
As far as your other answers - I have no idea. I don't really consider myself a "christian" anymore and don't believe that the bible is the ONLY book with any spiritual value.
I hope it works well for you.
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25
Confusion
by tryingtoexit inokay so i'm very very very close to presenting all my evidence for why i no longer want to be a jw to my parents and my wife.
we will be together just the 4 of us during the christmas season as we have that time off.
i've gathered enough information in the past 12/13 months to do this, 607/1914, birthdays, faithful & discreet slave, cult mind control/fear, false prophecies, preaching, etc.. but one thing i am still unsure of or have trouble understanding/explaining is the true answer to some things in revelation.. i know many chrisitans believe they are going to heaven, but in my "deprogramming stages" i cant figure out:.
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Georgiegirl
EXACTLY what leavingwt just said - I think he said it much better! :)
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13
A Statement in the WTS from 10/25/09
by lepermessiah inthere was a statement in the wt study yesterday that really struck me.. i believe it was in the box pimping the "keep yourself in big brother's love" oops...."keep yourself in god's love" book.. it was a simple statement but hit me like a ton of bricks - furthering my resentment toward the hateful and indiscreet slave.. it said something like ..."many people have left jehovah's love" and went on to mention conduct instead of doctrine being the cause.. it really got me thinking:.
1) doesnt god love unconditionally?
isnt that why he sent jesus christ forth?.
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Georgiegirl
That struck me, too. Clever, isn't it? Especially b/c most of us that leave DO start living normal lives which usually eventually include a romantic partner - so the "bad conduct" becomes self-fufilling... I would love to see a real breakdown of WHY people actually leave.
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26
Child Molestation and the Two Witness Rule
by garyneal inthis morning, as i was fixing breakfast, my wife and i got on the subject of religion (again) and i apologized to her for some of the things i said yesterday regarding the jehovah's witnesses.. in short, i said that given the way she treated me in regards to keeping me in the dark about certain financial situations, overdrawing her checking account and running up $500 in credit card debt due to her overdrafts that i am surprised the elder and his wife would approve of her activities in light of their teachings.
i said, "when you go to their house and study that book 'keeping yourself in god's love' with them, ask them what they would think of you taking such a nonchalant attitude over how you are managing the household finances and the way you respond to me when i inquire about the situation.
telling me that 'i should not worry' and that 'i am being fed and have a roof over my head' in such a way that i should just be quiet about it and let you be in charge.
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Georgiegirl
So sorry - I can't imagine how frustrated you feel.
One of the challenges (not that you don't know this) is that ANYTHING you say will take second place to anything they say. The WTBS has been very clever in what they say in print...and what they say in print HAS changed since Barbara and since the financial settlements...and the R&F won't THINK. This is what could happen, so be prepared.
She goes to the elder & his wife and ask. They haul out the articles on pedophilia AND the question from readers AND the "new light" that says it doesn't have to be two witnesses to the same event - it can be two different witnesses to different events at two different times. They will show in writing that members have the right to decide if they will report it or not. She feels you have now been completely discredited and have been fed false information by apostates.
You have to have every single one of your facts correct when confronting a JW - and that's tough because the "facts" change constantly.
Of course, the reality is - how pedophiles are dealt with internally is not reflective of stated policy. We all know that as the stories above show. But, until it happens to your wife personally, she will NOT believe you. She has been trained to disbelieve and distrust anything that is not WTBS.
I am curious - what is her PERSONAL reason for believing this is the truth? Find THAT out and work from there. It's different for each person, so just arbitrarily throwing things out there like 607, or UN, or pedophiles, or mistranslations of the WT will only increase the persecution complex and have her dig in deeper to defend. Find out what specific reason or reasons she has. Pin her down to them. Once she says "X" is THE reason why I believe this is the truth, you have a starting point.