Thanks for your kind words and advice. I need to be patient and realize it takes time to heal and move on. And I agree, getting more involved in something in the community definaltely will help too.
Jibberish
jibberish
JoinedPosts by jibberish
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12
When does it get easier??
by jibberish ini've been out (df'd) for over a year now and the last 6 months or so have my eyes really been opened to the real truth.
now i celebrate being df'd, and have i realized i am finally free from the mind controlling stupid cult.
life at times outside the borg is rough with my new "sea legs".
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12
When does it get easier??
by jibberish ini've been out (df'd) for over a year now and the last 6 months or so have my eyes really been opened to the real truth.
now i celebrate being df'd, and have i realized i am finally free from the mind controlling stupid cult.
life at times outside the borg is rough with my new "sea legs".
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jibberish
I've been out (df'd) for over a year now and the last 6 months or so have my eyes really been opened to the real truth. Now I celebrate being Df'd, and have I realized I am finally free from the mind controlling stupid cult.
Life at times outside the borg is rough with my new "sea legs". I've lost my family, and all that I "thought" were my friends and I am not socialized to the real life outside the borg. New people I meet do not know I used to be a JW, yet I still feel ashamed inside just knowing they don't like me cause I'm weird (a JW), then I think, but wait, they don't know and I'm not anymore....
How long have you "been free" and how long did it take you to be at peace with yourself outside of the borg?
I have yet to post more about my story. Sorry it's taking so long, just painful to revisit, but I will get it done....
Thanks!
Jibberish
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What Fears have you Overcome that the witnesses put in you?
by flipper inmr. flipper here again.
when in the org.
we were all told to fear jehovah .
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jibberish
I too have overcome my fear of the "Big A".
I've heard all my life how the JW way of life was so much better than the churches and their "false" teaching of hellfire.
You know what? One day like a slap in the face I realized...the dubs are NO different then the churches they call "Christendom". The dubs simply scare you with dieing at Armageddon instead of in hell !!
Now I've decided it's too hard to live in fear and try to be "perfect" so I am going to enjoy life now and help my kids to do the same.
Jib
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10
Today makes 6 years on JWD for me!
by Alana in.
i may not post as much as some of you all, but i do read it all and you all have been a great support in my journey out of this cult.
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jibberish
Congrats! I wish I had the brains (guts) to find JWD & get out 6 yrs ago!
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40
Hi all, I've been lurking.........
by jibberish inhello, i've been lurking for a few months now.
like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.
will write my story when i have time.
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jibberish
If you had said that he was only in the relationship for sex, it would sound a lot more reasonable.
Oh, excuse me for not being more careful and making sure my thoughts "sound a lot more reasonable". Ha ha.
Just this "woman's" perspective on my life.
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Caught Wife Cheating
by roflcopter inso i posted a while back about my marriage problems.... whole new gambit thrown into the mix.
i've had suspicions all along that something like this might be happening... but only just not confirmed that she's been cheating on me... with another jw that she works with!
she could have been more discreet about it rather than leave all the text messages on her phone.
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jibberish
So sorry to hear of your wife cheating on you. So painful.
From someone who's been in similar shoes....you certainly have the right to seperate from each other at this point. Tell her you need time to think things over. This way you make doubly sure there is no more sex to reaffirm the marriage in the elder's eyes.
If you seperate from her (with her thinking it is with the intention of possibly taking her back) then you will have a a clearer mind and heart and you can make your decisions accordingly.
If you plan on divorcing her, don't tell her till you make sure she confesses and you get your affairs in order. Like cancel her off any credit lines that are zeroed out, get a seperate bank account to put your checks into, if you have direct deposit get that switched to your account. Perphaps get a PO box for your mail to go to for the time being. Find a good attorney. All of this can be done before you make known your intenetions to the elders or your wife.
Time takes care of everything.
Let us know how it's going.
Take care,
Jibberish
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40
Hi all, I've been lurking.........
by jibberish inhello, i've been lurking for a few months now.
like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.
will write my story when i have time.
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jibberish
I appreciate your story, but I find it hard to believe, and kind of haughty of you to assume any man would go through all the efforts of courtship, and everything that goes with it, just so he could have the pleasure of finally getting in your pants. Damn; are you some super model or something? Even if you were, NO MAN is going to go thru all that JW courtship crap just so he could finally get some action.
I apologize to all if I sounded "haughty". On the other hand Integ, it is haughty of you to make assumptions from someone's comments. If you had all the facts I think you would feel differently, then again - maybe not.
After getting out of a bad marriage and looking back at the past 17yrs and now knowing what a healthly, loving relationship is supposed to be like, I have to say there are "exceptions to the rule". I have other reasons why I feel the way I do, but I feel no need to elaborate on that portion of my personal life with the ex.
The problem with me is that I (used to) assume that every person that got baptised and became a JW now had a pure heart and was "washed clean" like the scriptures say and they would never return to their "former ways". Boy have I ever had a rude awakening.
Jib
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40
Hi all, I've been lurking.........
by jibberish inhello, i've been lurking for a few months now.
like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.
will write my story when i have time.
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jibberish
Oh yes!! LOL! The colors are so pretty! I was trying to figure out which book it was making the pretty colors, I think it may have been one of the insight books, I'm not sure.......
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40
Hi all, I've been lurking.........
by jibberish inhello, i've been lurking for a few months now.
like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.
will write my story when i have time.
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jibberish
Thank you all for your warm welcome!
Yes, burning those books was very theraputic. My husband has been very patient and loving and understands the best he can. When I pulled them all out (as I was balling my eyes out due to tormoil with the ex) I told him he can burn them. Later that night we were out "burning the trash"!
Thank you Open Mind for the PM. I've gone to the link and I'm going to finish reading Confession's story when I am done here.
Thanks again,
Jib
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40
Hi all, I've been lurking.........
by jibberish inhello, i've been lurking for a few months now.
like many others here i've been through quite a bit lately, and what i've learned (thanks to jwd) is very eye opening to say the least.
will write my story when i have time.
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jibberish
Hello, I've been lurking for a few months now. Like many others here I've been through quite a bit lately, and what I've learned (thanks to JWD) is very eye opening to say the least. Will write my story when I have time. Oh, heck why not start now.... I enjoy reading others stories so much and it's a sort of therapy I suppose.
I was pretty much raised a dub from the young age of 6 or 7 by faithful dub parents. I was asked at 14 "why not get baptised?" by my mother. It really hadn't crossed my mind. She and my father pushed it saying "if Armagedon came and I wasn't baptised I could die because I was old enough to take my own stand before Jehovah now". Geez, if you put it that way (and scare me), guess I'd better get baptised. I didn't want God to kill me when Armageddon came. And since Armageddon would be here before the 1914 generation all passed away I'd better get with it. My wonderful dad was sure to chirp in"be sure that's what you want to do because once you get baptised if you ever do any wrong at all like commit immorality you'll be disfellowshiped". Yeah ok dad, but it's not like I had a choice if I wanted my parents to be happy with me...baptised at 15. (Why does the borg ignore the fact that Jesus wasn't baptised till he was in this 30's?? Isn't that an example we should follow. Who knows about life at 15 or 10 or even 18? Sure we think we do until we get older and look back and think "What was I thinking?"
You see, I am the type of person (daughter) that always wanted to please and I couldn't stand it and still can't (but I'm better now) if someone was unhappy with me ---- so I did what they wanted me to do or what I thought they wanted me to do--------then if they were happy - I was happy. Dad was (and still is) very controlling, his way or no way. So, in order to keep him in a good mood and avoid endless nonsense counseling from the scriptures (controlling) I did things his and Mom's way. Anyhow, baptised in 1980's, Father becomes elder shortly thereafter......(what a source of power for a controlling person!) NOW, it's "you'd better set a good example for your siblings and the rest of the cong. & don't you dare get in trouble and embarass me and our family!!!!" Being the obedient dub and daughter I set a good example in everything, never gave them reason to complain, 3rd in my class, turned down a scholarship to college (since the big A was coming anytime) then regular pioneered and supported myself cleaning houses........I HATED EVERY BIT OF IT!!!!!! WHat a complete and utter waste of my youth and time. Oh how I regret turning down the scholarship.....
Then early 20's I made the biggest mistake of all.....married a man who claimed to be a JW. I endured 17yrs of lies and adultery that I couldn't prove, (once again, a faithfal elder's daughter -though states away from dear old Dad- and a faithful dub I stayed with ex because I had no proof of adultery!!) and found out once I kicked his @#$ out that he'd molested my sister when she was 15 or 16. Now I have 2 children by the sorry jerk and he is as sorry of a father as he was a husband.
Anyway before my divorce is finalized I meet this man (that seems to this day to be a blessing from God) I start to realize that my ex NEVER really did love me, he just used me. Now I am married to this wonderful man who is a good step-dad in my children's lives, and we are still very much in love. I was so afraid he wouldn't want me anymore once he got what he wanted (if you know what I mean) like the ex did to me after we got married (and he got what he was after). I figured it was my fault and I'd have to suffer with my bad choice to "set a good example" and uphold Jehovah's name. Boy do I ever regret that too, staying with someone who made life misreable and a sufferance constantly for the sake of "Jehovah".
Anyhow, long story short, my wonderful, loving, supportive parents turned against me once I was df'd (hey I wasn't divorced yet, but my heart sure was free to love again in my mind) They (parents) tried to force me into "it's him or us" I asked my Mom point blank, "so you are saying if I stay with so and so you'll stay in town, and if I leave him then you'll not move and stay in town" "YES" she answered me. Can you believe that!!!?? I could not and never will ever treat my children they way they have treated me. They moved many many miles away to a congregation where the "need is great" and Father can have "more control" in KY. My mother told my young daughter who was suffering ADHD and from losing her father and losing the friends at the hall (I refused to be a hyprocrite like the other sisters who F*#&%^ my husband and hid it and then I had to be quiet about it - less I be charged with slander), anyway Mom told her "we are moving unless mommy comes back to the meetings" CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! Not only where they trying their darndest to control and minipulate me - they were using my 6 year old daughter who was about to loose her grandparents too.
The saga and my enlightening continues with part 2 at a later date.......
PS..........I let my "wordly husband" BURN all of my books JW one day in March. I knew most folks here on JWD would be so proud of me!! :)
and BTW.......everthing the borg says is Jibberish to me now.
Jib