In the French version the Rabbi asks God "and what did you do? -- I made a new testament."
(Testament being the common word for "last will & testament")
Thanks, that's even funnier than the version I posted.
Alex
Alpaca
JoinedPosts by Alpaca
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8
One of the few (good) clean jokes I know....
by Alpaca inmoshe is walking down the street, and he sees a friend coming toward him & the friend is crying his eyes out.
moshe: davey, whats wrong?
davey: well, you know moshe, i tried to be a good father, i raised my boy jewish, sent him out into the world, and he came back a christian.
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Bye-Bye Brooklyn....were OUTTA there! Real Estate news.
by oompa ini was told today by a heavyweight elders wife, both of whom were at bethel for many years and are very well connected to the brooklyn brass, that all brooklyn bethel operations will be moved to wallkill and patterson.
in fact, there is a very exclusive walk-through next week for some of the top real estate investors/developers who will see all the properties, starting with the sands, and its lobby has now been remodeled to look just like a high-end hotel..................just fyi.................................oompa
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Alpaca
Oompa,
Very interesting. It definitely seems like big changes are afoot for the Borg.
Cheers,
Alex
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8
One of the few (good) clean jokes I know....
by Alpaca inmoshe is walking down the street, and he sees a friend coming toward him & the friend is crying his eyes out.
moshe: davey, whats wrong?
davey: well, you know moshe, i tried to be a good father, i raised my boy jewish, sent him out into the world, and he came back a christian.
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Alpaca
Moshe is walking down the street, and he sees a friend coming toward him & the friend is crying his eyes out. Moshe: “Davey, What’s wrong?” Davey: “Well, you know Moshe, I tried to be a good father, I raised my boy Jewish, sent him out into the world, and he came back a Christian. What am I gonna do?” Moshe: “It’s funny you should mention that, the same thing happened to me. What are we gonna do?” So, they both walk together commiserating and crying. Just then another friend is walking toward them & he says, “Fellas, what’s wrong?” “Well you know Danny, we tried to be good fathers, we raised our boys Jewish, sent them out into the world, and they came back Christians. What are we gonna do?” Danny: “It’s funny you should mention that, the same thing happened to me. What are we gonna do?” So the 3 of them walk together commiserating and crying. So, after they commiserated and cried for awhile, they decided to go see the Rabbi. When the Rabbi saw them he says, “Fellas, why the long faces?” So they said, “Well you know Rabbi, we tried to be good fathers, we raised our boys Jewish, sent them out into the world, and they came back Christians. What are we gonna do?” Rabbi: “It’s funny you should mention that, the same thing happened to me. What are we gonna do?” So after awhile the Rabbi suggest that they pray. So the Rabbi starts praying, “Lord, we tried to be good fathers, we raised our boys Jewish, sent them out into the world, and they came back Christians. What are we gonna do?” And, the Lord’s voice came back, “It’s funny you should mention that…”
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Another tax time joke!
by Hope4Others ina woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs.
to file her taxes.
the accountant says, 'before we begin, i'll need to ask you a few.
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Alpaca
Good joke!!!
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I'm A Passivist...My God Wasn't!
by new boy inwere is the sense...to this?.
i wouldn't go to war...i was a co in viet nam.
i couldn't even get into a fight at school without getting into trouble.. yet my god...jehovah was is a jealous god an angry god....a god who when he got missed off would destroy a whole planet...remember the flood....(the bible said he felt bad afterwards)...that was nice.. now he is getting ready to do it again....6 billion people worth....and why?.
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Alpaca
By the way..... I think you mean "pacifist."
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Stories Of Wife Abuse In The Organization!
by new boy inthere are so many.... i remember my exfather inlaw...ben regan, he was made an elder in newport r.i and that's enough to make you doubt the whole holy spirit thing right there.. i was sitting in his living room one sunday and the phone rings...some poor black sister just got the crap beat out of her and she was crying to him on the phone, she was looking for help.. ben said.
"well you must have done something really bad to make him so mad at you...i know but...what you need to do is just have another beer and forget the whole thing"....good by.. thank god must women are not putting up with this anymore, from their husbands or religions that really don't care about them.
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Alpaca
Domestic violence is alive and well throughout the Borg.
There was guy in my last/final congregation that had his wife so browbeaten that she was anorexic and looked like one of the holocost victims. They had two boys and he made the older boy such a nervous wreck that the kid, at the age of 10, was still pissing himself before he could get to the bathroom. What an asshole. She had an affair, which eventually led to their divorce. The irony was that I think she had the affair so that the marriage would end, but he forgave her, and then they couldn't make things work, so they both ended up single without being able to scripturally (Borg speak) remarry. What a crock!!!
In another congregation that I attended, prior to the one just mentioned, a couple had a scam going to make money by being foster parents. The husband ended up beating one of the kids to death. He went off to prison and the wife, who did nothing to intervene, went on being a witness in good standing, when she must have known full well what was going on. Beating a kid to death doesn't just spontaneously happen without other behavior leading up to it. She had to have known that the husband was beating the shit out of the kids. Actually, now that I am thinking about it I think he beat her, too. I remember her coming to the KH onetime looking like she had been beaten about a week prior (the black eye was not fresh).
Not a pleasant subject, but it needs to be aired.
Thanks,
Alex
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Approaching the Attorney General of New York?
by nomoreguilt indo you suppose, that if there were a concerted effort by enough people, that the ag of new york state could compel the wtbts to divulge the names of all the child molesters that are in their files??.
do you think that enough pressure could be placed on the society in order to diminish their stature with the state?
imagine the impact that just the suggestion of such a move would make on brooklyn....... my thoughts......any others????.
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Alpaca
NMG,
It's a great idea.
Of course, the Borg will try to claim that they immune from disclosure because of the clergy-penitent confidentiality exception to the general rule that compels testimony if someone is aware of a crime. And, that is the key! There is something called the "Tarasoff" exception to the exception that compels testimony if the person/organization is knows/should know that a crime is going to be committed.
The AG is not a moron. He probably would not go after just the Borg, but would instead include all religious organizations who are potentially harboring child molesters.
The down side of this is that it is fraught with all kinds of constitutional issues and it would probably drag out in both the state court and federal courts for a decade or more.
Still, it's a great idea.
Alex
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Watch Tower Rituals
by R.Crusoe inall human groupings throughout our existence have had rituals and festivals and social gatherings to enhance and strengthen communities and frienship bonding.
most usually they are events humans look forward to and relax at!.
what wt events/rituals do the same for jws?.
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Alpaca
Right on Brother (and I mean that in the most positive, worldly sense of the word)!!!
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Just curious--how many Dubs/ex-Dubs have come to JWD in the last year?
by Alpaca ini have the sense that we are seeing a lot more open dissent on jwd with dubs who are still in the borg or fading.. what do you guys think?.
how many have recently left or are in the process of leaving as a result of jwd or other related sites that expose the borg?.
what was the final straw that did it?.
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Alpaca
Hey there IH,
Didn't you just recently make your 1st post on JWD? I think I posted a welcome to you.
The way you feel about your parents is understandable. Just a thought though. You might want to "test the waters" (very carefully of course) with them. You might be in for a very pleasant surprise (they may be putting up the same front for your sake). I will guarantee you that if they are old timers, they have doubts about the Borg, whether or not they will admit it.
If you drop some discrete hints it may create an opening for them to start thinking.
Nevertheless, you are in the best position to judge how to handle it.
All the best. You have a long and interesting road ahead.
Alex
Hi One,
Thanks for sharing your thought. How did you and your compatriot identify yourselves to one another without the fear of a BOE investigation?
Alex
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Just curious--how many Dubs/ex-Dubs have come to JWD in the last year?
by Alpaca ini have the sense that we are seeing a lot more open dissent on jwd with dubs who are still in the borg or fading.. what do you guys think?.
how many have recently left or are in the process of leaving as a result of jwd or other related sites that expose the borg?.
what was the final straw that did it?.
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Alpaca
I have the sense that we are seeing a lot more open dissent on JWD with Dubs who are still in the Borg or fading.
What do you guys think?
How many have recently left or are in the process of leaving as a result of JWD or other related sites that expose the Borg?
What was the final straw that did it?
I've been out for almost 11 years and nosed around on this site for about 5 years before I actually created a screen name and started posting. Has anyone else followed a similar pattern?
Cheers to all,
Alex