Posts by GoddessRachel

81

Born in or Converted to JW? What are the stats here? and why....

by oompa in

jw
friends

can't everyone just put this one item on their profile before posting.

it seems like most posters have no profile, but this info could help in several ways.

i am just guessing, but it seems like more here were born in.....your thoughts on this?......oompa.

GoddessRachel

Born in. It's in my profile:

Born and raised one of Jehovah's Witnesses, baptized in my mid teens, disfellowshipped and reinstated twice in my early 20's, and finally faded in 2006. I am still trying to learn the truth about The Truth. I find the commonality I have with other posters here therapeutic. I just want inner peace.

2nd generation - my parents converted before I was born. I'm faded now.

Also count me in as one with a very controlling mother. I miss her so much. But my life is much more peaceful when I limit my contact with her. She alters between talking to me and feeling guilty about it so then making up for it by shunning me. The hot/cold thing is so much fun (not).

16

Is this really a J-Dub rule???

by superman in

jw
friends

hey guys,

im inactive (as far as meetings go) in my local town.

however, i have friends outside of my local territory that i hang with.

GoddessRachel

I always thought when I was a witness they said if you go somewhere physically with a female it was dating. Like go to coffee, go to a restaurant and eat , etc. I've never heard that talking on the phone regularly with someone of the opposite sex is considered dating , at least I never heard that when I was a witness ! I think the young lady is blackmailing you to like her by spouting off " fictitious " rules by the organization - and then entrap you in some precarious way ! Like TIRED of the HYPOCRISY said, " I'd stop calling her. " No matter what her unknown motive is - I think she wants to control you, and is up to no good ! Be careful. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Yes, this is actually a rule, one of the unwritten ones. I got in trouble in high school for talking to a boy on the phone on a regular basis. We were told we were dating, even though we were only talking on the phone. Yes, I thought it was stupid then, and I still think it's stupid.

There has been some great advice on this thread. I agree with what Tuesday and others have said, that if you are contacted by anyone you need to be clear that she asked for your number, you gave it to her thinking you were reaching out and being part of the group, she text messaged and contacted you, you were just being polite and friendly.

In my case the boy and I were actually talking on the phone for hours. If you barely responded to this girl, and then answered her question about dating honestly, I can't imagine how the elders could actually think you led her on. If you spent hours talking to her and getting to know her, and THEN said you weren't interested, I could see how she might feel a little bit slighted, but still not enough to involve the elders.

Speaking of which, I can't believe she would actually involve the elders. YIKES. That is really something. What a relief that we are not that brainwashed and choose to think for ourselves and govern our own lives!

Oh, one more thing, you don't actually owe the elders any explanation at all. If you don't feel like talking to them about it, don't. They are not God's spokespeople, they do not have authority over you unless you let them have it, so if you are inclined to just avoid them, go for it. Of course, I know this is easier said than done.

Good luck, Superman. Go meet a "worldly" girl and try to stay away from the sad lonely Witness girls. Poor things.

Peace,

Rachel

29

What's more important??

by The Last Nephilim in

i'm placing this into the "scandals and coverups" section for good reason, i think.

a few days ago i had an elder and one of "the anointed" come by to encourage my wife and i to "get back to the meetings before it's too late".

i proceeded to tell him a few of the reasons why i've lost confidence in the elders and the organization, and he retorted with a real- life example of how i need to see that although the "brothers" can make mistakes, it's best to accept it as "jehovah's will" and play along.

GoddessRachel

I recently was discussing a similar circumstance with my JW mother - about my brother. The facts as I know them, and as I have reasoned with her, about why my brother was disfellowshipped show him to be wrongly disfellowshipped.

At one point she even said to me that even if he was wrongly disfellowshipped, then it was just a mistake on the part of the elders and I should cut them some slack because they are not perfect. That made me so angry because my brother's life has been turned upside down because of this "simple mistake" - what about HIM? It's only the elders we have to cut some slack for, not the people who are wrongly "disciplined". When I asked her if she thought they would ever do anything about it if they realized it was a mistake, she said no, to protect Jehovah's name they have to uphold their decision, and my brother's only option is to earn his way back into the organization.

The only thing the JW's care about is appearance and saving face. They don't care a damned bit about their people. It's a poor excuse for a religion. Protecting Jehovah's name is more important than people's lives.

36

Ex-JWs... feelings of isolation, agoraphobia...?

by Moxie in

hi all... :) sorry for the novel.... i'm just wondering if there are any others out there who share similar experiences as me or have any comments and insight.... when i was a jw i was very, very social and active with friends and family in a wide range of activities.

i would even have considered myself the party-starter ;).

i used to plan events and social get togethers for all kinds of situations.

GoddessRachel

Dear Moxie,

I could have written your story it sounds so much like me. It's like I don't even recognize myself anymore sometimes. You are absolutely right that it has to do with the rejection we have suffered from everyone we believed to truly love us. It hurts beyond comprehension to deal with this kind of mass rejection, and I think we have lost our faith in humanity on a personal level. The fear of feeling this same pain all over again is too great, and it is just easier to hide. But it's not easier. It's suffocatingly lonely.

I too am 26 years old, and I was disfellowshipped when I was 19. I used to make friends easily and love to go out and be with people. My family used to be really close and love to be together. Now my family is divided and miserable. All because that is what Jehovah would want (yeah, right). During the last three years of my life I have come to accept a lot about my circumstances, and find peace within myself. But some of it is harder to overcome. Making new friends and learning to trust people again is one of the latter.

I think Hortensia's advice regarding long walks is very good. This has personally helped me greatly. Any kind of physical activity helps blow off steam and fight off depression. Just clearing your head and getting fresh air does wonders for my well-being.

I think maybe you didn't find the right therapist. I am alive today because of my decision to go to therapy and following through with that decision. Don't just settle for someone, but do research and find someone you connect with. Being angry isn't a permanent feeling. Sometimes we need to work through our anger and let it surface and deal with it in order to move on. I know I personally had to do that. Otherwise you are just avoiding it and suppressing it. It is still there, but it is just buried. Dig it up and deal with it so you can get rid of it for good. So you can find the inner peace you so deserve.

I wish you the best, Moxie, and I want you to know that you are not alone. This community has been a lifesaver for me as well. My personal plan is to just be patient with myself, to feel my feelings (so if I'm sad, I deal with the sadness, I cry many times over the loss of my family, and then I move on for that time; the feelings ebb and flow but it helps to just deal with them as they come so I can move on), and to just keep reaching out to people. When I fail, I pick myself back up again, and when I'm ready, I try again. We don't have the choice over many things but we do have the choice to fight for what we deserve and get the most out of this life. In fact, I believe we owe it to ourselves.

Much Love,

Rachel

P.S. I can tell by your choice of username that you have the spirit and courage to overcome this trial and to become the real you, the person you are meant to be. Just hang in there, Girl.

49

Happy 8th Birthday JWD !

by Simon in

i'm just sat working on a new version of the forum (to bring it more up-to-date and make it better for non-ie browsers) and notice the date on the first post of the backup database that i'm working against ... 23 march 2000.. i can't believe it's been 8 years !

.

thank you to everyone who has participated over the years and helped keep this place alive to help others coming out of the wts.

GoddessRachel

Happy Birthday!

62

Why are some atheists so pushy?

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

nvr,.

here is what i have observed about some of the atheists here.

as in the first example from this essay, this is to be expected if atheism is true.

GoddessRachel

Are we discussing religious beliefs or a belief in God? Because the two are not the same.
Are we talking about God, the creator or God, the sky daddy? Again, the two are not the same. Although it seems the atheists are confused by this notion.
I am still waiting on an answer to the above questions.

Robdar, I appreciate your thoughtful questions, and though this might not be exactly the answers you are looking for, I am under the impression that the original question was regarding athiests being pushy and not about whether or not religious beliefs and belief in God are the same, etc. I think the answer to the original question is that all kinds of people are pushy, and that can include athiests. I personally think there seem to be a lot of pushy athiests on this website in particular, because being one of Jehovah's Witnesses makes one feel especially burned by religion and resentful towards God. I think the healthiest people are the ones who can differentiate between God and religion, and then make a personal decision about their beliefs accordingly. And for the record, I am still out on how I feel about God. I was very mad at this God character for a while when I first woke up from the JW's, and then I denounced his/her existence altogether. Now I'm beginning to read books that are about the Christian God, but NOT about any religion, in order to deprogram my brain from the Jehovah God I was taught about as a Witness and then I hope to make my own decision. Peace, Rachel

62

Why are some atheists so pushy?

by nvrgnbk in

jw
friends

nvr,.

here is what i have observed about some of the atheists here.

as in the first example from this essay, this is to be expected if atheism is true.

GoddessRachel

Without having read the HUGE posts in this thread I thought I'd put in my opinion:

I think ANYONE who feels very strongly about what they believe can't help but push it on other people from time to time (or more often than that based on personality and circumstance), because humans have a natural tendancy to want to reach out and enlighten each other.

The problem with this is that we can't ever enlighten each other. Everyone has to find the truth for themselves, and there's a fine line between sharing your beliefs, and pushing your beliefs. It's hard to tread that line.

I'd also like to say that I don't think Warlock meant he doesn't care if people suffer. He was saying he respects people's personal beliefs enough not to meddle in them. But that is how I read it anyway.

Peace,

Rachel

45

Would You Really Want To Live Forever With Dubs?

by shamus100 in

here is the hypothetical question of the day - would you, or more appropriately, could you live forever in paradise on earth with jw's?

with the hypocrosy, silly elders, silly people... feeding lions and cleaning up after animals... everyone living by waterfalls, like the jw's always portray in they're psychotic pamphlets..... or would you rather be dead.

i, personally, would much rather be dead.

GoddessRachel

I'm with the poster who said she felt sick when she was told we would still have meetings in paradise (I think it was LisaVegas). I remember that exact same feeling the first time I was told that!

As a kid I used to feel so relieved when the meeting was over, and I would say to myself "one less meeting until paradise". Once I figured out they believe there will still be those meetings in paradise I think it was one if the pieces of straw that piled up until one of them finally was enough to break that ol' camel's back.

In other words, NO, I do NOT want to live in paradise with Jehovah's Witnesses! I've got waterfalls and lions where I live, and I don't need to pet the lions! Dogs and cats work just fine for that purpose, thank you very much.

Rachel

17

Could a JW lifer not know about theocratic warfare?

by RebelWife in

i was just looking at another thread about lying.

it reminded me of a discussion i had a while back with my husband, who has been a jw all his life (dfd now).

i brought up lying and this term "theocratic warfare," which i had never heard before, but found online.

GoddessRachel

I never heard of it until I read it here, and I was born in, raised a JW, baptized, and stayed there until my early 20's.

I think it's talked about by apostates because it's a shocking concept in reality, but JW's either don't realize it exists, or don't understand how shocking of a teaching it is. How can you teach people that lying is wrong, that Jehovah God ABHORS lying, but then turn around and tell them that sometimes it's OK and even preferred to lie. How can people not be disgusted by this?

It's just another example of how brainwashed JW's are. They have no idea what they even believe! That's why apostates talk about it so much. All we can do is shake our heads at all the BS that JW's (including us when we were JW's) fell for.

Rachel

58

Are you happy with the name you were given at birth?

by Outaservice in

jw
friends

the bible attaches importance to your name.

if not, what would you like to change it to?

i always hated mine!

GoddessRachel

I love love love my name! I think it is perfect! People have always said how lovely it is too. I love both my first and middle names, and I have grown to love my surname. I used to think as a kid that my last name was dull, but it's not, it's great! If I married a man whose last name I liked I would gladly take his, but if I hated his last name it would be hard to give mine up that I really do love.

I have always felt fortunate that my parents knew how to pick out such good names. My siblings and I all have great names.

P.S. My real name isn't Rachel, but I can't post what my real name is. At first this thread confused me, because I couldn't tell if we were talking about our screen names or our real names. I thought we were talking about our real names, but then some posts were about people's screen names.