Posts by GoddessRachel

24

Would you go to the meeting if......

by Quirky1 in

jw
friends

jay leno was giving the public talk?

this mornings beach trip

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

i got up at six am, and immediately had baby duty.

apollo, my seven month nephew.

i usually ride the bike to the beach in the early morning.. this morning stroller, diapers, bottles, binky, baby and i head off for the mile walk to the ocean.. i was going to eat breakfast at the beach diner, but decided to go to mcdonald's instead.

GoddessRachel

Thank you for sharing, Purps, like someone else said, that played in my head like a movie as I read it. Very nice writing, even better that you are making such wonderful habits in your new home!

Peace,

Rachel

7

How I feel about it all now

by JimmyPage in

jw
friends

because my wife is a dub i do still attend meetings fairly regularly.. but that's before i was on this site.. then as i was having my eyes opened the talks really started irritating me.

" my mind would scream.

it was like my brain was fighting with all its might to resist the manipulation of the loaded language.. now when i listen to elders, some of whom i think are nice people, give these talks about how close the end is i just really feel sorry for them.

GoddessRachel

This feels like progress for me. Can anyone else relate?

I can so relate! I think it's progress. I recently talked to a JW family member on the phone, and when she started talking about how close the end is, and she sounded so desperate, my heart just went out to her and I felt so sorry for her.

I moved far away from my JW's so I didn't have to go through the scream-inducing pain of sitting through the meetings, etc. It's painful. I miss my family a lot, but it's worth it, most of the time. Of course, this isn't my spouse we are talking about. My heart goes out to you too, but I think standing by your wife as much as you can is the right thing to do too.

Peace,

Rachel

32

katy did

by IP_SEC in

jw
friends

a katydid has been sitting there on my screen door all day, since i woke up.

until just now when i touched it to see if it was alive.. how cool to be a bug and just sit in the same spot all day like its nothing?.

wow..

GoddessRachel

Until you get squished because you are flying about just minding your own business and a car windshield whams into you.

Then again, maybe that's why the katydid was just staying put. Until you went and ruined it for it.

Haha, just kidding.

26

I bet you do not remember this picture, or do you?

by vivalavida in

does it ring a bell?.

it was taken by me from the stern magazine from germany issued on august 13th, 1961..... clue: i guess 47 years later she wouldn't attract any angels, would she?.

vivalavida.

GoddessRachel

I must admit I had often wondered while sitting through long boring meetings from where the pictures come - if they were actually all models like in the video they made about JW's where they show "brothers" posing as Jesus pulling Peter out of the tumultous water and then another "brother" painting them to use in The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived book. I wondered how they could afford to do that for every single picture.

Well, I guess here now, years later, when I wasn't even thinking about it anymore, is my answer. I would have never guessed. How naive!

Rachel

66

I LOVE YOU!

by sacolton in

just wanted to say, "i love you!

" to everyone!.

(hey, it's friday ... i'm in a good mood!

GoddessRachel

Sacolton, I'll bite: I LOVE YOU TOO!

I miss your other avatar though. You are handsome though. But your other avatar always makes me laugh.

Peace,

Rachel

43

I am So Angry

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

i hate everything.

i am so angry at my mother, at my father, my sister, my brother.

nobody understands me.

GoddessRachel

Wha Happened, I'm here! Thank you, friend! I have been rereading the posts from last night before I went to bed and carefully reading each of the posts I had yet to see. I am so grateful to you all. I don't know what else to say, except that I will keep pressing on, and I will seek help, and again, THANK YOU. So many of your words touched me: I know you understand my "plight," and I know I'm not alone.

Dan the Man, brother, please read this thread, and these many posts, because it's for you too. Please don't give up. As Dawg and Clint Eastwood say, don't give the bastards the satisfaction.

Poppers, this line is beautiful: "you are not the stories you tell yourself" - and such a good reminder.

I wish I could name each one of you and thank you specifically, but there is so much that it would take me the rest of the day and I would surely still leave someone out - human error, not ungratefulness. Just know that I read each word like it was a much awaited letter from a beloved intimate friend, and that I am overwhelmed by how amazing people are - strangers most of you! And yet you embrace me.

Free2Think - love you too - thank you, sweetie!

Thank you for the PM's too. I have some writing to do to you folks. You are wonderful. I feel like this board has saved my life many times over. What would we do without the internet? I have no idea! I'm glad to have my trusty internet; when I feel like I can't reach out to my family or friends, I have online family and friends.

Like a deer sweet soul who PM'd me said: "Tomorrow might be the day!" So I guess I'd better stick around to find out, huh!

A walk up the big hill in the sunshine sounds like just what I could use right about now, Hortensia. Great idea. And Poppers, and JoannaDandy, I always think that kind of thing sounds cheesey, but what I hope is that everyone gives these things a try, to just focus on breathing and to tune into your surroundings. This is why we have this world in which we live. Nature is therapy too. I just hope that people who think it sounds silly get past that prejudice and do it. It's thrilling how good it makes you feel.

PEACE TO EVERYONE, WHO ARE ALL SO VALUABLE,

Rachel

43

I am So Angry

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

i hate everything.

i am so angry at my mother, at my father, my sister, my brother.

nobody understands me.

GoddessRachel

G'night, y'all, some serious sleep is what I need. Thank you for being there. It means more than you'll ever know.

PEACE,

Rachel

43

I am So Angry

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

i hate everything.

i am so angry at my mother, at my father, my sister, my brother.

nobody understands me.

GoddessRachel

I wrote this really nice post and then there was a JWD error of some kind so it didn't get posted.

Thanks so much for all the kind responses. This was my embarrassing way of reaching out, and I'm already feeling better, but still a little embarrassed. This site means the world to me. No other discussion forums do that for me like this place does. It comes from being raised in such a way that I am a misfit of society. Here I sort of fit it - when I'm around.

Thank you, all. I really wasn't just seeking attention, though I do feel like an attention-seeking jerk. I just was having some seriously scary thoughts about how to have immediate relief to my current pain, and knowing that I really didn't want to do that to myself and to anyone who cares about me, I turned here. Thank you for being here for me. Sorry for being such a jerk.

I will look into getting some professional help. Thank you.

Peace,

Rachel

43

I am So Angry

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

i hate everything.

i am so angry at my mother, at my father, my sister, my brother.

nobody understands me.

GoddessRachel

Thanks, John Doe, but I don't have enough money to afford the luxury that is therapy. (P.S. I know I'm being unreasonable right now; I just can't help it right now. I'm so sick and tired of the BS. I'm just so TIRED!)

Thanks for reaching out though, friend, I don't deserve it. But I do appreciate it.