My boyfriend is not a witness. He understands that witnesses can't marry or date non witnesses. But I guess could say we've been stalling...looking for a solution a gray area to that black and white situation...but with time getting as it is...Stalling doesn't work anymore. The more time I stall, the closer it gets with neither of us being saved....
You want to be with him, but you can't because he is not a Witness.
You haven't found a gray area, and you don't feel like there is one.
I should mention this is an online relationship that was wanted to be real someday.... He said he can't convert because he's afraid to "lose himself." Afraid if he devotes himself fully to god, he'd have no room for happiness and lose the love he has for me....
He has told you he is not going to convert. You can't be with him because he is not a Witness, and he has told you he is not going to become one. Believe him when he tells you this, because he is telling you the truth.
I'm conflicted on what to do.
You don't seem conflicted. You seem clear on what you need, and what he needs, and that they are two very different things.
I can't tell grandma nor an elder. They wouldn't get past the "It's an internet relationship," part long enough to give me guidance. Praying...I prayed and prayed for guidance...and the way it came... It seems god wants me to end it, if that's the answer I got and I'm not just reading too much into it....
You can't talk to people around you so you turned here for advice. You prayed to God and feel God gave you an answer, but not the answer you wanted to hear.
How can I follow my heart, and at the same time hope to save my life?
It appears as though you can't.
And even if I succeeded in doing both, watch him lose his?
You say you really love this guy, but yet you believe he is going to die.
If it comes before next or the year after? We'll only be together over the internet and never see each other before it......
You believe the end of the world is really imminent.
I have issues bringing up subjects without withdrawing into silence mode...so I can't talk to him about it. But I had others do it...and he's not even willing to learn enough about it before choosing. He's a humanitarian with christian/christendom morals......
You are unable to open up to the man you love. He's given you his answer, but you are still looking for gray area, which really means "how to convert him."
The thing is, I can't end it!
You don't feel that you have the ability, power, or desire to end what you have with this guy.
I don't want to end it!
You don't want to give him up, even if that means accepting who he is.
Even if I ended the realtionship and chose god... Walking away and getting over it? Not possible. He's too important to me...even if I ended it I wouldn't get over it. I'd still worry for his life, still be in conflict...and probably even more pain. If we stay together the same...... there's just no gray option.
You believe God would ask you to give up the person you love. You believe you would never be able to get over your feelings for this person.
I asked him this as an attempt."Fine, I have this question. Would you rather be with me forever or only what's left of this f****ed up mortal life?" and the answer he gave was... "Of course I would want to be with you forever. But considering the circumstances.."
You asked him if he would choose forever with you by converting, and he gave you his response. His response is no.
I am at a loss....I honestly don't know what to do. I've read the threads here already...I don't intend on converting. So it's useless to give that answer...
You feel as though you don't know what to do, but it seems you know what to do, you just don't like the answer.
Rachel