I believe you are in a very unique and privileged situation. Obviously, it is hard, very hard to be such an active part of an organization in which you no longer believe, but you have to realize that you have a very unique opportunity here. You have the opportunity to play the game and do some real internal investigation. You can secretly record elder’s meetings, Watchtower trainings, access elder materials, record conversations with Circuit overseers, etc. You can collect all this information and once you are out (a year or more?) you will have all this information to share to the world.
You may want to check the laws where you are, but I can tell you that in Canada, you are allowed to record conversations of which you are a part of. So, no legal worries there.
Imagine, having recordings of things like:
- 1) We can lie about this or that; spiritual warfare.
- 2) I’d like to live in this house at Armageddon
- 3) We don’t tell this to people until they are baptized
- 4) Elders counselling/threatening someone who isn’t respecting the disfellowshipping arrangement
- 5) Deliberate destruction of proof pertaining to a crime
- 6) Homophobic comments
- 7) Political comments (likely against trump)
- 8) Misogynistic comments
- 9) Definitive numbers on sources of income for the JWs. Such as how donations were used in a convention.
You could write a book and call it: JW: Undercover! You’d be living my dream!!
You need play the game to the maximum and become even more “spiritual”. It should be fairly easy, provided that you allow yourself to lie.For instance, you can make up fake hours by reporting a lot of casual witnessing. These people are eagerly waiting to destroy your life for doubting what they say. There is no moral obligations to tell the truth to such evil doers. You can do a lot, a lot of damage and expose them by collecting information from the inside. Record everyone. Now a days, using your phone to do that is incredibly easy.
Only exception though: If you have young kids, quit now before it is too late. Otherwise, you may wake up one day and you will have lost your kids. That's the only reason I am not doing what I suggest to you above.